Weird Collection..

[daisyd]

Hi,

 

I’ve been married for 2 years, together for 6, my husband is a great guy, but recently he has started buying loads of comic book statues (he used to have one out). Mostly female super heroes (included in pic), its weirding me out. He’s 37, I don’t get, and they are all perverted in my eyes, he says he like super heroes. We are about to have a child together. He refuses to remove them, am I over reacting? what would you do?

 

]

 

Daisy

[1a1a]

With a touch of humour, it might be absolutely adorable if you made/found clothes for them. (Or maybe they are strong independent women who dress like that because they can and they like it and clothes would be censorship.... but I reckon you could be comfortably justified in turning around the two that have their backs to the world).

 

But more serious, between their design and how he's displayed them, there's a strong feeling of objectifying women, it would make me uncomfortable (inferior feeling possibly even) to have those in my home too. (I used to date a guy who had a lot of pictures of a very beautiful character from East Enders up around the house, same feeling).

 

Have the conversation, see how he responds (this is valuable information).

 

Can you think of a compromise that would take the edge off your feelings of unease? (Can he add some women super heroes to the collection that Haven't been posed like sex objects?!!! Would you like to add some men super heroes who Have? Do you have some kind of hobby or collection thing that you love that he doesn't that you could do more off as a trade off for him getting to keep these?) Ask him to offer up compromise suggestions too.

[Lester]

I'm not sure "weirding me out", qualifies as an overreaction, but would agree; 37 years old, very weird.

[Clio]

It sounds like a middle-age crisis type of thing to me. Like trying to hold on to part of his carefree youth by pursuing a hobby that he didn't get to have back then. If that's the case, be happy that it's not running away with a 20 year old. Admittedly, they are not tasteful but 'perverted' sounds harsh. Obviously, you don't get it; Maybe it would help to try to understand more about why he likes them by asking him about it in a NON-critical way i.e. what it is that he likes about them and how come he hadn't bothered starting a collection before. If he is a great guy, he is worth the effort of trying to understand him and maybe you could even try to arrive to a compromise regarding where to keep them.

[itsallgrand]

How is he doing as far as excitement and engagement in the whole process of getting ready to welcome a baby?

 

My first thought was maybe it's some type of response to becoming a dad.

[agent1607307371]

Does he even read comics? (She says, looking at the black and white Infantino inspired Batman and Robin on her own shelf.)

 

But I think it says everything about what he likes superheros for that he's got Cammy, Black Canary and Starfire set with their backsides hanging out. (i mean, you could fix the way BC and Starfire are positioned but Cammy's been given the classic boobs and butt pose, poor girl.)

[j.man]

On the fence here. I'd be curious to know the answer to agent's question.

 

If he's never been into comics, then yes, it'd be pretty damn strange.

 

Otherwise, yeah, the guy fetishizes made up strong female comic / anime characters. Take it or leave it. I think you've got full license to tell him you don't want them displayed in the bedroom or living room, but if he wants to sport a set for his "man cave" of sorts, that should be his prerogative.

[daisyd]

He does read comics, from his tablet, not all the time, but definitely reads marvel and some of the girls that are on display, power girl / she hulk etc. Definitely more knowledge than any of his/our friends in regards to superheroes.

 

He seems super excited for the baby, he was never the "i want a baby type", but is very involved and i cant complain in that department.

 

Hes always been young at heart, still plays computer games (which i never did), gets excited about most things. But also one of the hardest workers.

 

I just dont understand this, but feel like its not worth arguing..i guess its what he likes, its just embarrassing.

 

The statues are in his study btw .. and not on full display thank goodness!

[agent1607307371]

Then it's not really wierd as much as a natural outcome of his interest in comics, really.

 

Your reaction is basically why I wouldn't date someone who isn't into comics. There's an assumption you're childish and going to grow out of it, but you're not, and you're not, so there's a conflict built right in.

 

 

(ETA: Although I can totally understand why people find the way the women are drawn to be offputting. It's a long running debate.)

[RainyCoast]

i don't see the big deal.

 

female heroines in fiction are hardly ever not sexualized and objectified. it doesn't mean he objectifies women. if he does, there must have been signs before, other than a display of figurines.

 

i mean we could flip that to argue that someone with a display of male superheroes (posters, fanart, whatever) has stereotypical ideas about malehood and is overcompensating for castration anxiety.

 

or that someone with Pulp Fiction fanart has sadistic and addictive tendencies.

 

lord knows i like to pathologize and overanalyze, but the ladies on the shelf don't weird me out personally.

 

childish? maybe.

perverted? nah.

 

 

i like pin-ups. back when i smoked i had lighters and coasters with them. not the same as a shelf shrine, but i am very averse to objectifying anyone. it wasn't why i had them. more for the vintage vibe i think. i'm a straight female too. people didn't hyperbolically misinterpret them, as far as i'm aware.

[catfeeder]

Not a big deal. They're his version of a girlie magazine.