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Ex changed mind about starting again...Now what?


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*cliff notes version at the bottom


I dated ex for two months. The situation was the absolute worst for us to be together. Her dad hated me, and my mom hated her. We still wanted to be together but it slowly crept in and broke down the relationship. Since she is an international student my mom always thought she was after me for a green card, which my ex said made her feel pathetic. A couple of other mishaps happened, including me accidently abusing her God, and being violent with her once. Eventually she said it just wasn't going to work and said the main reason was because of my mom. So she ended it and said that it was over and over forever. She even swore to her God that she would never contact me over her dead body.


One month later, I get a Facebook message from her. She asks how I'm doing and expresses how she was sorry for whatever happened and that she wanted to begin again. I expressed I wanted the same, but as we talked she seemed to express mixed signals. She told me how she wants to forgive me, but when she remembers how I was violent with her one time she thinks she can't. She ends the convo by saying she needs to think for a few days. A few days after she tells me how she needs to make things clear before winding up with me. She tells me how she dated someone else within the month after (rebound I'm guessing). I reacted a bit jealous to this, and it went downhill from there. She ended the text saying its best we do not get back together because the situation is the same as it was before.


Me being needy , calls and messages her until she calls me on the phone and we have a final talk. We talked for a couple hours , with her recalling a lot of good memories we had. She also said its never going to work out, and that it's over and over forever. As we concluded she said that I would find new girls and that she would pray for me everyday.


I now hate myself for missing the opportunity to get her back. Which leads to my question to you guys: When she said it's never going to work does that mean she won't contact me again?


The timing was pretty bad, as I was planning on moving out within a couple weeks. But she didnt know this until we had our final conversation on the phone. So now that the main issue would be gone (mom out of the way) should I try and contact her? We will be going to school together next semester so we are bound to run into each other.




Girlfriend of two months breaks up because my mom was seriously interfering in the relationship and making her feel scared. She swears she will never contact me over her dead body.


She contacts me after one month saying she wants to try again. We talk and she changes her mind saying the situation is the same because I still live with my parents. She again says she will never contact me and that it's over and over forever.


I'm working on changing myself (moving out of parents house, learning how to drive) so that we can actually be together without my parents trying to savage it. So I'm wondering if after I can change these things that were her main worries that we can get back together? Or should I stay no contact.


Also chances of her reaching out to me again? We go to the same college and it begins in a couple weeks.


Thank you for reading.

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When you say you got violent with her, how violent was it? Did you hit her? Moving out and learning to drive are good next steps, but depending on what you mean by "violent" that could be an even bigger issues. I think the chances of her contacting you again are slim, although it could happen. I definitely wouldn't contact her, though.


Have you had any previously relationships? Were they this tumultuous? Would you say you are well-adjusted psychologically? I'd hate to see you bring issues like this into future relationships. Perhaps therapy could help you understand more about yourself and what went wrong in this relationship.

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Within 2 mos you were violent with her and you are wondering why her dad hates you? This was a train wreck between your mothers accusations and your violence. Stay far far away from each other and do not try to be friends. Go no contact and block and delete her from all social media and messaging.

I dated ex for two months. Her dad hated me. A couple of other mishaps happened, including me being violent with her once.
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