Age, LDR, LTR, Break Up :(

[RomanceLove]

Hi,

 

My girlfriend of 4 years and I (off and on twice, now 3) are going through a break up. I met her when she was 16 and I was 26 online. We started out as friends and our relationship happened as a result of her asking me out after I turned her down 3 times, but steadily fell deep in love with her (was concerned about age difference/long-distance at first)

Now, I am 31 and she will be 21 soon. The first time we broke up, it was because I was too in love and it scared me since we were having talks and thoughts of marriage when I had never been in a relationship before (she is my first love/best-friend... never dated because girls interested in me never made me FEEL as she did/does) The 2nd time was due to me not having a lot of money for visits due to no job (rental car, hotel room food etc/searched for a job constantly with no luck)

 

I would see her every month as we agreed once I finally got a job and a car, but sometimes this job would make me work mandatory on Saturday. This caused her frustrations (me as well) so she wanted to end the relationship since I wasn't able to see her 4 months (though we talked on the phone everyday and weekends) Thing is, I think the age difference is in play now. She is really clingy/needy, lived where she couldn't make friends, home schooled so I was literally her whole life since 16 since she was a bit sheltered with friends limited to Facebook.

 

Now at 21, she's making friends she can actually hangout with in person for the first time (like me ironically at that age lol) though her mom had an influence because she wanted to come live with me because her family is highly dysfunctional and make her feel depressed and suicidal (her mom felt I was manipulating her and turning her away from her family when I was just sweet, caring, understanding a loving... or course she's going to want to leave lol)

 

Even though it sucks, she is really immature and needs time to grow up apart from me I feel. Even though we broke up due to her mom making it seem I didn't care to visit her and that I was probably cheating (never did) how she is handling the break up is showcasing her immaturity (plus mommy interference lol) Clingy, needy, jealous, wanting Facebook password, not wanting me to have female friends, not wanting me to talk to female co-workers, not being able to communicate relationship issues like an adult, no GED, no job, can't drive, lack life experience etc. I feel us agreeing that seeing her one day wasn't enough, which is why I didn't drive down Sunday morning (which after months of seeing her a day would've been enough... so that lead to our downfall ironically)

 

So I'm asking, I know I've known her in an adolescent type of relationship. Though I feel this is for the best because she does have growing and maturing to do apart from me (as I stated I was literally he whole life for 4 years for the most part) We were planning to move in together in March though I feel that would have been a mistake now that I can see her behavior/lack of understanding about relationship etiquette and can be disrespectful without being fully aware of what she is doing/saying. In short, she is a child that needs to grow as I did (when she was 18) state that age difference may come into play in our "downfall" (she wasn't understanding about my work situation/lack of money to see her) I never treated her like she was less my equal due to age and I taught her many things.

 

I feel this is for the best as when she grows and matures more and gets an understanding we may find our way back to each other. Like, she will grow her wings and MAYBE use them to fly back to me. I am doing NO CONTACT for 30 days so she can see life without me (she called me after a day when she wanted to break up crying after I skipped a day of talking to her) What do you think? I feel letting her go truly is for the best for now because I don't want her immaturity to be the reason I lose my best friend/cause me to never want to give her another chance. It sounds one-sided, but she does need to "shape up" before she can handle and adult type of relationship apart from the adolescent one ending/grow into a woman. She was a lot of my firsts so I'm just fine keeping her in my life as a lil friend cause I feel like she's my baby along with being my baby who is gonna grow up If we try again, I'll see her Sunday if work Saturday and we'll more that likely move in together to solve distance

[kamurj]

Multiple accounts are not allowed. Thread closed.