Sister in Law, Daughter in Law ganging up on me

[Illinoising]

I am married and my sister in law never liked me. She wanted to date my man first but he tossed her to his brother whom she married. So she wanted Jon to date her gross friend and maybe he slept with her once before we met. Well, he chose me. FF a few years later...his sons baby mama is thick as thieves with the Dragon Lady SIL. She won't bring the baby around us, his grandparents. Well Jon is but I'm the step grandma. They are always at SIL and Jobs brothers house but never ask us over I'm assuming because of me. I've been nice. I've tried to find common ground with these jokers who are a whole generation behind us. Nothing in common, I can live without them but its hurt my man. His SIL is a spoiled brat and so is his brother. Both have been pampered by their parents and live way beyond their means. This daughter in law is using the baby to hurt us. My toddler grandson has come to live with us now thru no fault of his own. He is my angel and I adore him. Now, they're jealous of the attention the toddler gets from my husbands Mom who has treated my grandson like a family member. What can I do? How can someone resent a baby whose parents abused and neglected him? I'd love to punch SIL in her face for starting this . And the DIL must be mental also to be jealous of my grandson. It is unreasonably weird. They never really liked my husband anyway and like me even less. Johns son is also pulling rank and never calls unless he needs something. He didn't have the best upbringing and had lived with my husband since he was 14 and his own Mom chose her new husband and kids over him. But she gets to be Grandma anyway now and I'm something close to nothing. I've been kind, gone out of my way to buy really nice gifts this Xmas for my husbands grandson and they left it at the house claiming they didn't have room for it. Crushing my feelings. I want to wash my hands of these mental midgets. Why would anyone act so ignorant? How can someone be so jealous and small. They also don't like they can't dump their dogs here anymore because I don't want 4 dogs in my house and their dogs pee all over my house. They are making this so hard and I know they even say mean things about my baby grandson. Which I will throw down a fight over if they ever let me hear it. I'm sick of it.

[Wiseman2]

Good boundaries help most situations. Many people don't like their in-laws and have strained family issues. Enjoy your grandchildren and children and respect your kids' spouses, even if you dislike them or they are irritating. Minimize contact and conflict with them. Try to avoid grandma cat-fights and tug-of-wars.

I am married and my sister in law never liked me.

[Hollyj]

You're going to get into a fight. Really? That will be great in front of the kids. Violence is not the answer.

[abitbroken]

If the son calls because he wants something, then set a boundary. He is a grownup apparently since he fathered a child so if your husband is game to it, he should not be giving him any money or any other handouts or help and if he wants help, he has to come over in person with the baby to receive it. I would stop worrying or thinking about the sister in law. Just focus on your own household and if people choose not to come over - well the more peace and quiet you have. Focus on the family that does want to see you - maybe your side of the family and those relatives on his side who do want to see you. And also invest more in friends who also like you.