Chelsey Posted January 5, 2017 Share Posted January 5, 2017 So me and my boyfriend have been dating for 5 months and he is a really jealous guy, he and I both watch porn. So about three weeks ago he told me he didn't need it because he had me and his thoughts and he didn't want me to watch it cause he didn't want me to find anything "better" than him, so I agreed. So everything's going fine I've been helping out with his "problem" by sending pics at night when he needs too just as he does to me when I need too, and we do the occasional thing. So our anniversary was recent and we were on the phone a couple days after since he had been on vacation for 5 days( the day before he left I gave him his first bj and he loved it from his reactions and what he told me after, but you see I finally got comfortable with him and it was like a going away treat), and he tells me he watched porn(I didn't care he watched it but he made me not watch it and promise ) but he watched it on our anniversary instead of asking me(I ask him whenever I need to and he does too so there's no problem with asking and he knows) ...he knows I would've been there and done anything cause I love him a lot. But it just hurts a lot cause he said he didn't need it cause he had me but what made him need to watch it, idk if it's me and I'm not good enough(Ik I'm overthinking) or I'm just not good looking enough. So when he called and told me, after he told me I said it was okay and he started to cry so hard he started to hyperventilate saying he's sorry he hurt me and broke a promise and I said it was okay but I really felt like upset and sad for some reason idk why, and this phone call lasted till 7 in the morning and than we went to bed and it continued the next day and he didn't stop crying he cried so hard he actually threw up and I felt so bad I was telling him it was okay and he kept on saying it wasn't and he was saying I'm all that he needs and I just didn't know what to say it's just the trust he broke cause I told him not to make this promise(he broke my trust once before, different situation) so I saw him in person the next day and when I saw him he hugged me so tight and brought me chocolate and we went back to my house (no one was home) and we were just hugging and he started to cry on my shoulder and was saying he's sorry he hurt me. I was wiping away his tears and tell him I loved him and it was okay but he was still crying. Than he stopped and we were just cuddling and he poped one and I was just hugging him. So I just need someone's opinion on the situation, and if he thinks I'm still attractive and how I can get my sexual attraction back for him cause now just thinking abt his think makes me cringe down there, and if you think he actually means his apology, I do but I tend to be gullible and if anyone has an idea how I can trust him again as much as I did before. I told him he can't have me send pics and porn at the same time so I'm not sending them anymore and that I'm not doing anything sexual until I get my attraction back for him, and we're both watching porn again. Link to comment
RainyCoast Posted January 5, 2017 Share Posted January 5, 2017 are you both very young?? he watched porn and that broke trust? like, what the heck. i mean if he were constantly choosing porn over you, while you were right there, yeah, i'd be a problem. i'm more concerned with the fact he can cry and hyperventilate so much over masturbating. does his reaction relate to the situation where he "broke your trust before"? what did he do, cheat, murder someone, get a girl pregnant? you two have a way of overreacting so bad it's kind of scary. Link to comment
Capricorn3 Posted January 5, 2017 Share Posted January 5, 2017 are you both very young?? he watched porn and that broke trust? like, what the heck. i mean if he were constantly choosing porn over you, while you were right there, yeah, i'd be a problem. i'm more concerned with the fact he can cry and hyperventilate so much over masturbating. does his reaction relate to the situation where he "broke your trust before"? what did he do, cheat, murder someone, get a girl pregnant? you two have a way of overreacting so bad it's kind of scary. I agree. OP, just a small bit of advice - don't keep sending nude pictures of yourself to anyone. You have no idea how many times these things backfire really badly when things go wrong. It comes back to bite you in the a$$. There are stories in the news almost every day about people being blackmailed and have their pictures all over the internet etc. He could be sharing your pics with all of his friends too. Link to comment
yatsue Posted January 5, 2017 Share Posted January 5, 2017 are you both very young?? he watched porn and that broke trust? like, what the heck. i mean if he were constantly choosing porn over you, while you were right there, yeah, i'd be a problem. i'm more concerned with the fact he can cry and hyperventilate so much over masturbating. does his reaction relate to the situation where he "broke your trust before"? what did he do, cheat, murder someone, get a girl pregnant? you two have a way of overreacting so bad it's kind of scary. Um, no. He broke trust because he made her promise they BOTH shouldn't watch porn anymore. Then he went back against that while making his gf not watch porn, while he did so. So OP is upset by this double standard. I would be too, but he seems remorseful. I would let this go and do not make these promises you both cannot keep from now on. I gotta say, his reaction...is pretty pathetic honestly. Waaaaaay overreacted. P.S. What anniversary? You've only been together 5 months. You both do sound young. I would stop over-exaggerating everything in your relationship because it is looking like it's heading into an unhealthy attachment. Slow way down. Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted January 5, 2017 Share Posted January 5, 2017 Why do you need permission from each other to do things in privacy, like masturbate or watch porn? Agree stop sending xxx rated pics of yourself that could go viral in a nanosecond, especially in the hands of a creep like this. Sorry to tell you this, but he sounds kinda like a controlling jerk who is playing you with fake tears, etc. Not only stop having sex, why not break up altogether? There are better guys out there who will take you on dates treat you nicely and be interested in more than porn, masturbating, phone sex ,nude pics, etc.it just hurts a lot cause he said he didn't need it cause he had me. I'm just not good looking enough. So when he called and told me, after he told me I said it was okay and he started to cry so hard he started to hyperventilate saying he's sorry he hurt me and broke a promise Link to comment
Chelsey Posted January 5, 2017 Author Share Posted January 5, 2017 Everything's resolved now thx to all the responses, is there any way I can delete my message from before I don't wanna be reminded Link to comment
Chelsey Posted January 5, 2017 Author Share Posted January 5, 2017 Yep we're alllll good now Link to comment
qwaspolk82 Posted January 5, 2017 Share Posted January 5, 2017 So me and my boyfriend have been dating for 5 months and he is a really jealous guy, he and I both watch porn. So about three weeks ago he told me he didn't need it because he had me and his thoughts and he didn't want me to watch it cause he didn't want me to find anything "better" than him, so I agreed. So everything's going fine I've been helping out with his "problem" by sending pics at night when he needs too just as he does to me when I need too, and we do the occasional thing. So our anniversary was recent and we were on the phone a couple days after since he had been on vacation for 5 days( the day before he left I gave him his first bj and he loved it from his reactions and what he told me after, but you see I finally got comfortable with him and it was like a going away treat), and he tells me he watched porn(I didn't care he watched it but he made me not watch it and promise ) but he watched it on our anniversary instead of asking me(I ask him whenever I need to and he does too so there's no problem with asking and he knows) ...he knows I would've been there and done anything cause I love him a lot. But it just hurts a lot cause he said he didn't need it cause he had me but what made him need to watch it, idk if it's me and I'm not good enough(Ik I'm overthinking) or I'm just not good looking enough. So when he called and told me, after he told me I said it was okay and he started to cry so hard he started to hyperventilate saying he's sorry he hurt me and broke a promise and I said it was okay but I really felt like upset and sad for some reason idk why, and this phone call lasted till 7 in the morning and than we went to bed and it continued the next day and he didn't stop crying he cried so hard he actually threw up and I felt so bad I was telling him it was okay and he kept on saying it wasn't and he was saying I'm all that he needs and I just didn't know what to say it's just the trust he broke cause I told him not to make this promise(he broke my trust once before, different situation) so I saw him in person the next day and when I saw him he hugged me so tight and brought me chocolate and we went back to my house (no one was home) and we were just hugging and he started to cry on my shoulder and was saying he's sorry he hurt me. I was wiping away his tears and tell him I loved him and it was okay but he was still crying. Than he stopped and we were just cuddling and he poped one and I was just hugging him. So I just need someone's opinion on the situation, and if he thinks I'm still attractive and how I can get my sexual attraction back for him cause now just thinking abt his think makes me cringe down there, and if you think he actually means his apology, I do but I tend to be gullible and if anyone has an idea how I can trust him again as much as I did before. I told him he can't have me send pics and porn at the same time so I'm not sending them anymore and that I'm not doing anything sexual until I get my attraction back for him, and we're both watching porn again. How old are you two? People don't watch porn for more attractive people. You say you watch porn - have you seen some of the people in porn movies? They're not all models. I'm not even sure how or what to address in this. So he watched porn? Yeah he broke a promise but why even promise that if you both like it? Seems odd. Link to comment
HeartGoesOn Posted January 5, 2017 Share Posted January 5, 2017 Threads are not disposable. Please review the posting guidelines, which you agreed to follow. Link to comment
qwaspolk82 Posted January 5, 2017 Share Posted January 5, 2017 Everything's resolved now thx to all the responses, is there any way I can delete my message from before I don't wanna be reminded No you can't delete posts. Did you read the rules? Link to comment
Chelsey Posted January 5, 2017 Author Share Posted January 5, 2017 It would be great if no one else responded I don't intend to be rude when I say it, everything's resolved now and I don't need anymore opinions-it would be greatly appreciated if no one responded cause I will no longer be looking at this, thxx to all the did give their opinion previously tho Link to comment
katrina1980 Posted January 6, 2017 Share Posted January 6, 2017 Chelsey, I am glad everything is resolved. If you want your thread closed (no more responses), click on the little triangle icon on the lower/bottom left side of your post and you can send a message asking that it be closed. I did that yesterday, and the thread was closed within minutes. They may even delete the content of your post (not the post just its content). Wish you the best with your boyfriend! Link to comment
Capricorn3 Posted January 6, 2017 Share Posted January 6, 2017 They may even delete the content of your post (not the post just its content). Small correction: We do not delete the contents. The only time contents get deleted is when it has identifying information in it, email address, names, places etc. Link to comment
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