Time to meet up...

[Drakarin]

Hi everyone. My name is Duncan. Im 20yo. Nice to meet everyone.

So about 4 years back, when mxit was still awesome I met a girl and we started liking each other. At that time we were both living in South Africa and talked about meeting up but we lived very far apart and our situations and age stopped us from meeting up. We got pretty close and even after a big fallout and a huge argument we still kept in touch. About a year and a half ago she moved to Netherlands with her parents making it even more difficult for us to actually meet.

You can probably already see the frustration. XD

This year, after getting a new job she propposed that i should fly over there and visit her and maybe look at possible job opportunities since I've always wanted to work abroad. Even if it's just temporary.

After a long silence we started talking again. (This was before she said I should come visit.) And we talked about who we've been seeing since the stop in communication. I'll just say that her list was a bit longer than mine. But she said that she compared the people she was seeing with the things she liked about me and they didn't come close (her words not mine - I felt like a marshmallow when she told me)

So my question is, is the risks of going abroad to meet someone you've only seen in photos and called a couple of times worth taking? What if it turns out badly. I mean yeah, we have a lot in common and have very few things we don't like about each other. But a relationship isn't based on just that. There are other variables.

 

Just for interest sake score from 1 to 10 the likeliness you think it'll actually work out between us.

[gebaird]

What's the likelihood of any two people being able to make a relationship work? There are always risks, and the outcomes can't be known. Is this girl worth taking risks for? Is she worth giving it a try even if it doesn't work out? If not, stay home and date someone local.

[Wiseman2]

It depends. If it's trip to the Netherlands to travel, enjoy an brief visit and meet that's great. If it's to consummate a cyber relationship with great expectations that will be too much pressure and disappointment and risk.

is the risks of going abroad to meet someone you've only seen in photos and called a couple of times worth taking?

[Chloee1988]

Hi everyone. My name is Duncan. Im 20yo. Nice to meet everyone.

So about 4 years back, when mxit was still awesome I met a girl and we started liking each other. At that time we were both living in South Africa and talked about meeting up but we lived very far apart and our situations and age stopped us from meeting up. We got pretty close and even after a big fallout and a huge argument we still kept in touch. About a year and a half ago she moved to Netherlands with her parents making it even more difficult for us to actually meet.

You can probably already see the frustration. XD

This year, after getting a new job she propposed that i should fly over there and visit her and maybe look at possible job opportunities since I've always wanted to work abroad. Even if it's just temporary.

After a long silence we started talking again. (This was before she said I should come visit.) And we talked about who we've been seeing since the stop in communication. I'll just say that her list was a bit longer than mine. But she said that she compared the people she was seeing with the things she liked about me and they didn't come close (her words not mine - I felt like a marshmallow when she told me)

So my question is, is the risks of going abroad to meet someone you've only seen in photos and called a couple of times worth taking? What if it turns out badly. I mean yeah, we have a lot in common and have very few things we don't like about each other. But a relationship isn't based on just that. There are other variables.

 

Just for interest sake score from 1 to 10 the likeliness you think it'll actually work out between us.

 

I don't see any harm in meeting her in person if you can afford the financial burden of going away for a few days. As for the "likelihood", there is really no way in assessing that since you will only find out in person. Also, hope for the best but be prepared for the worst. If you guys don't end up liking each other, at least you will have made a vacation out of it.

 

With respect to long distance, I am very much an advocate. Studies have proven that LD relationships don't lack in any satisfaction compared to same geographical relationships. If anything, there were reports of INCREASED satisfaction due to multiple variables. Of course, LD will only work if you are BOTH equally committed in making this work once you have established that you do indeed like each other. Of course, some people do not want to go through the hassle of LD, but if you are both financially capable of visiting each other on a regular basis then I say go for it.

 

On a personal note, I have had several LD relationships although it wasn't too bad (8 hour drive), and some of the guys I dated just couldn't handle it and ended the relationship because of that even though we had chemistry. Other guys have stood the test and were really committed despite the distance. So it really depends on what your end goal is (marriage etc) and whether or not you're both willing to withstand the distance while maintaining consistent contact.