Interested in a girl but unsure how to proceed

[Symba13]

Hey everyone it's been I think 2 years since I last posted on this site seeking advice. The advice I received worked out well for me the first time, so I have high hopes for this time.

 

There is a woman I am rather interested in. We're both in the same group on Facebook and friended each other 2 years ago? Recently, a few months ago, I started to message her just to get to know her and stuff like that. We have some of the same interests from what I've gathered so far, we're even friends on a gaming system now but I don't think she owns the same multiplayer games I have, and if we do, she has said she's not real big on competitive stuff either. She does live in a another state but it isn't terribly far away so if things do work out, actually meeting in person wouldn't be an issue for me. My friends who are in the same group have taken notice of this, they believe something could potentially come from it going as far as jokingly saying to Skype with her and pointing out whenever we like or comment on each other's posts.

 

After my last relationship ended 3 years ago I seemingly lost any real confidence I had to talk to someone I was interested in, like flirting or something of that nature. I give myself this hope or determination and the second the opportunity is there, I let it go, I get scared. I've made a New Years resolution to actually do better and be better and not let potential opportunities like this one slip away but the thing is, I really don't know what to do, or what the best course of action should/would be. There have been times when I just look at Messenger for upwards of 30 minutes just trying to figure out what to say next and I sometimes don't know how to keep a conversation going.

[gebaird]

Sounds like it's time to get your confidence back. Nothing will happen unless you make a move. Perhaps it will go well and perhaps it won't, but you'll be better and stronger for having made the attempt. The secret to success in life is figuring out what you want and going after it.

[Wiseman2]

Agree, be bold. In fact suggest a meet up for a no pressure lunch or coffee just to "chat". Then it would be more worth investing any further.

 

You can't really build a relationship through fb messenger except in your mind, so meet then take it from there. That suggestion itself will give you valuable information such as is she dating anyone? is she interested? what's she like in person?, etc.

I started to message her just to get to know her and stuff like that. She does live in a another state but it isn't terribly far away so if things do work out, actually meeting in person wouldn't be an issue for me.

[Symba13]

Nothing will happen unless you make a move. Perhaps it will go well and perhaps it won't, but you'll be better and stronger for having made the attempt. The secret to success in life is figuring out what you want and going after it.

 

I just don't know what the next move should be. I feel it's a bit early to ask if I could come visit. I'd at least like to talk to her verbally in some form before I ask or even mention that visiting. The small talk works but I can't keep that up, there's but a handful things to talk about and I hate the day or two of silence that sometimes happens.

[gebaird]

I just don't know what the next move should be. I feel it's a bit early to ask if I could come visit. I'd at least like to talk to her verbally in some form before I ask or even mention that visiting. The small talk works but I can't keep that up, there's but a handful things to talk about and I hate the day or two of silence that sometimes happens.

 

How about a phone, face time or skype call? Just say something like, "Hey, I think you're really cool and I'd like to get to know you better. Would you be up for a video chat sometime?"

[Symba13]

I think I might have to just suck it up and do that. Even if not over Skype, just ask to play a game while chatting. Simple and very much to the point

[Symba13]

Update: Finally found a game we both owned with multiplayer, and she said she'd "definitely be down to try those multiplayer games with me soon"

 

Hopefully all goes as well