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Fear of oral sex


Smartyface

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Hey guys! I'm in a little bit of a pickle.

 

So I've been seeing this guy recently and everything has been going absolutely fine, we've moved our relationship into the bedroom but we've hit sort of a snag. I am completely fine with mutual hand stuff and someone going down on me, however, I am absolutely terrified of going down on a man. I've only had 2 previous experiences of oral sex, one great and one absolutely awful. The absolutely awful experience coincided with me losing my virginity, I lost my virginity basically on a one night stand where I traveled to see this guy who I was talking to and stayed over at his place. When I got there and things got more heated he told me that my body was completely different to how he expected (not in a good way) e.g. that my butt and breasts were much smaller, when I went down on him, he complained that I was awful and was very forceful with me (whilst the guy I performed oral sex on for the first time ever would always be very understanding and encouraging) and he also pressured me into sex by telling me that "if I'm here I might as well try it" and "are you not curious about how it feels?" so after a while I gave in and had sex with him. I've had sex since then and it has been absolutely fine, but I am still completely unable to let go of the fact that I was 'awful' at giving oral sex that one time so I have been unable to do it since.

 

I was just wondering if anyone could give me any advice, just so I can get over this fear and be finally able to do the things I've fantasized about in my mind.

 

Thank you so much:strawberry:

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I don't know how graphic you want me to be...but, vary what you do. Start with alternating between sucking and licking (use your imagination). Once you start experimenting with his body and get a sense of what he enjoys, you'll know what he likes and hopefully you'll feel more comfortable. Has he mentioned oral?

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Do you want to go down on this new guy? You don't have to do anything you don't want. You don't have to do it just because he may expect it.

 

In any case, what helped me the first few times was that I went very slow. I only used my tongue first so I got used to the taste before actually putting all of him into my mouth. You have to treat him as gently as you can because you don't know what he's into yet, either. Don't use your teeth; don't suck too hard; don't twist a lot or try fancy moves. In the beginning it's really just about exploring him and yourself and finding rhythm between your mouth and hands. If you find you can't tolerate him far down your throat, use your hand to meet your mouth so you give the appearance of using more.

 

Remember that if you don't like it, that's okay. Tell him so. If he gets uppity about it, then you know you're not compatible. If you do like it, then once you get more comfortable, ask him what he likes, or try small things that are different and see how he reacts.

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How long have you been dating and how old is he? Just be natural and go slowly with this guy until things evolve and you feel comfortable. Why would you believe you must 'perform' like a porn start for one night hookups or anyone for that matter? Don't use sex to impress or hang onto guys.

I've been seeing this guy recently and everything has been going absolutely fine, we've moved our relationship into the bedroom but we've hit sort of a snag.
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