Iio Posted January 4, 2017 Share Posted January 4, 2017 I'm referring to the same guy in my 'Ghosting' thread. Recap: we started talking on POF last August, he lives around 200km away from me, we've never Skyped or talked on the phone. The only way we communicate is through text and messenger. We have talked about meeting up this summer. I've seen pictures of him and honestly, I don't know why anyone would want to catfish using his pictures (he's not super attractive)... He got back to me after I thought he cut off communication. I did unfriend him on Facebook (although we befriended); I didn't think he would talk to me again. He said that the battery in his phone exploded and I forgave him. We talked a little while longer and he said he wanted to make our relationship official. I agreed... He's also gone on about how much he 'loves' me, but he's never really done anything to show for it. He's quite the sweet-talker. Several days ago, I sent him a message saying that I was concerned that he just wanted sex and was feeding me a lie. I suggested that I was upset because I developed feelings for him based on what he has said. He chewed me out, and even though he forgave me for the message, things have felt... uneasy. He seems to have become more condescending towards me. What also bothers me is the fact that he keeps favouriting pictures of this one same friend of his on Facebook (she is an attractive girl). Overall, I am not feeling good about this 'relationship' and I have regrets. Should I 'slow fade' or how should I break things off with him? If so, how? Link to comment
Chloee1988 Posted January 4, 2017 Share Posted January 4, 2017 I'm referring to the same guy in my 'Ghosting' thread. Recap: we started talking on POF last August, he lives around 200km away from me, we've never Skyped or talked on the phone. The only way we communicate is through text and messenger. We have talked about meeting up this summer. I've seen pictures of him and honestly, I don't know why anyone would want to catfish using his pictures (he's not super attractive)... He got back to me after I thought he cut off communication. I did unfriend him on Facebook (although we befriended); I didn't think he would talk to me again. He said that the battery in his phone exploded and I forgave him. We talked a little while longer and he said he wanted to make our relationship official. I agreed... He's also gone on about how much he 'loves' me, but he's never really done anything to show for it. He's quite the sweet-talker. Several days ago, I sent him a message saying that I was concerned that he just wanted sex and was feeding me a lie. I suggested that I was upset because I developed feelings for him based on what he has said. He chewed me out, and even though he forgave me for the message, things have felt... uneasy. He seems to have become more condescending towards me. What also bothers me is the fact that he keeps favouriting pictures of this one same friend of his on Facebook (she is an attractive girl). Overall, I am not feeling good about this 'relationship' and I have regrets. Should I 'slow fade' or how should I break things off with him? If so, how? It isn't a relationship if you've never met the guy in person, let alone spoke to him on the phone! Any attempt at pledging love or commitment to a person you've never met is clearly meaningless. Why have neither of you made the effort to meet up? How do you want to make a relationship "official" if you guys haven't met up??? Actions speak louder than words, and talk is cheap! If he hasn't made any effort to come see you, I wouldn't believe a word he said. Maybe break things off until you're both committed to getting to know each other in person. Link to comment
gebaird Posted January 4, 2017 Share Posted January 4, 2017 Should I 'slow fade' or how should I break things off with him? Don't slow fade - be honest and up front about how your needs aren't being met. Then block him everywhere and look for someone local who shows you with actions, not just words, that you are loved. Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted January 4, 2017 Share Posted January 4, 2017 Sadly all the red flags for a catfish, scammer or married person are here. It's unclear why you are on dating apps, yet not messaging and meeting real people. This "person" is merely causing aggravation and holding you up from finding someone real. The only way to stop this is to go no contact and block/delete "him" from all social media and messaging apps.The only way we communicate is through text and messenger.He said that the battery in his phone exploded. He seems to have become more condescending towards me. Link to comment
Iio Posted January 4, 2017 Author Share Posted January 4, 2017 It isn't a relationship if you've never met the guy in person, let alone spoke to him on the phone! Any attempt at pledging love or commitment to a person you've never met is clearly meaningless. Why have neither of you made the effort to meet up? How do you want to make a relationship "official" if you guys haven't met up??? Actions speak louder than words, and talk is cheap! If he hasn't made any effort to come see you, I wouldn't believe a word he said. Maybe break things off until you're both committed to getting to know each other in person. I've been the one who wanted to get us to Skype and talk on the phone. But it's nothing but excuses. He seems okay with meeting up, but who knows what excuses he will come up with when the time comes.. Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted January 4, 2017 Share Posted January 4, 2017 "The time" has come and gone already, it should have been shorting after messaging a bit 6 mos ago.. Why haven't you suggested meeting? He seems okay with meeting up, but who knows what excuses he will come up with when the time comes.. Link to comment
Iio Posted January 4, 2017 Author Share Posted January 4, 2017 "The time" has come and gone already, it should have been shorting after messaging a bit 6 mos ago.. Why haven't you suggested meeting? We have suggested meeting. He agreed to come here. When he was talking about it in the past, he said he couldn't get in touch with a family member who lives here and that hotels are too expensive... Link to comment
Hollyj Posted January 4, 2017 Share Posted January 4, 2017 How can you have feelings for someone when the only communication is by text? This sounds like a catfish or married man. Don't; you think it is strange that he doesn't speak to you or Skype? There are so many red flags, it is ridiculous. Why do you continue to communicate with someone who is so sketchy? You know this is off. Link to comment
katrina1980 Posted January 4, 2017 Share Posted January 4, 2017 We have suggested meeting. He agreed to come here. When he was talking about it in the past, he said he couldn't get in touch with a family member who lives here and that hotels are too expensive... Iio, all I am hearing from you are excuses (from him). With respect, what the hell? He is BS'ing you, you know this right? Come on now.... Wiseman is right, you should have walked away from this "non-relationship" MONTHS ago. I am not suggesting he is scamming you, but clearly he doesn't want nor has any intention of ever meeting you. Wish him a Happy New Year, and then for the love of all things good in the world, walk away, block, delete, next. Find local men to date. Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted January 4, 2017 Share Posted January 4, 2017 So he's hoping for a bed and breakfast with sex included from you? It's unclear why you are bothering with him when dating apps offer you opportunities to meet real men in person?When he was talking about it in the past, he said he couldn't get in touch with a family member who lives here and that hotels are too expensive... Link to comment
surfdiva Posted January 4, 2017 Share Posted January 4, 2017 I'm confused, have you even met this guy? From your post it doesn't sound like you have. I'd be veerry leary of anyone wanting to commit to a relationship that I haven't even met. Plus, he sounds really wishy washy...and "chewed you out"? Yeah, I'd be done. Link to comment
ParisPaulette Posted January 4, 2017 Share Posted January 4, 2017 Who the hell in this day and age "can't talk on the phone" or "skype?" And yet he can text? Come on really, you think someone who can text you, but can't manage to use a phone even when you request they can isn't hiding something? I'm sorry, but you are buying into this guy's BS big time. Yes, of course he's lining you up for future sex IF he isn't just catfishing you in general just because of oh I don't know, mental issues or loneliness or she just is bored or.or.or. What else do you think someone who hides who they are, won't talk to you on the phone or skype, but wants to "come see you" and oh just doesn't have a place to stay is doing? He's angling so hard for booty call in another city where his wife or girlfriend can't find out it's not even funny. And love you? He doesn't even know you and vice versa. You can't "love" someone if you never heard their voice. I'm sorry, I smell catfish or him scared his wife will notice the phone calls. She probably handles the bills. Texting is easy, you just delete it. Plus yeah, if he can text, then he can talk on the phone. That he doesn't? That should have told you everything you needed to know. This guy is hiding his phone number and doesn't want you calling him or to call you for a reason. A big one. Just block and delete him. You don't owe anyone who won't even talk on the phone to you but who is pulling the whole phony baloney I love you let's be exclusive crap all. No slow fade, no nothing, just a simple block and delete on everything. And a lesson learned. And then examine why it's taken you this long and why you're so gullible, because that will get you into some very bad things if you aren't careful and don't get some street smarts. I'm not trying to be mean here, but come on. Surely you found it weird he can text but can't talk. And no, it's not because "my phone is broken" or "I can only afford to text, can't afford the speaking part of a phone," thing. Come on. Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted January 4, 2017 Share Posted January 4, 2017 Some info on why you do this and "Why does he do this?" we started talking on POF last August, he lives around 200km away from me, we've never Skyped or talked on the phone. Link to comment
ParisPaulette Posted January 5, 2017 Share Posted January 5, 2017 Helpful Tips to Avoid Being Catfished · They won’t Skype or use a webcam to talk with you, they often text, prefer telephone contact or they repeatedly cancel in-person meetings at the last minute. · They profess their love for you really quickly And he hits the first two points out of the park for a home run. Can't say anything about the other points in Wiseman's excellent article, but the last point also looks a whole lot like it too. I'm sorry OP you are being catfished, hard. And most scammers and such have learned to post "believable" photos in favor of the total drop-dead gorgeous after people have started checking those in Google images to see who someone really is. Hey, there's a thought... Link to comment
katrina1980 Posted January 5, 2017 Share Posted January 5, 2017 I'm referring to the same guy in my 'Ghosting' thread. Recap: we started talking on POF last August, he lives around 200km away from me.... 200km (126 miles) is a two hour drive for heaven's sake. There is absolutely NO good reason why he couldn't have met you yet it's been five MONTHS.. Paris Paulette's post #12 pretty much said it all, so I will say no more. Lesson learned and best of luck moving forward! Link to comment
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