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I'm physically & mentally tired now. I've been holding strong for 14 years dealing with depression. About 2 weeks ago I've been nothing but thinking about ways to end my life. I don't want to be here anymore, I've beg God to take me. I've tired multiple times taking my own life before but none of them seem to just work for me. I don't want to end up in a psych bcus I'm not crazy. I'm just a 22 year old female who deals with major childhood depression , major anxiety , to much anger in my heart & I give up !!

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Hi Rn.... sorry for your pains.

 

I understand.. been there too. I am in my 40's.... been dealing with, since my teens.

 

I have my BAD times and not so bad... triggers dont help

 

I've been on anti depr's.. and in ongoing therapy over my years.

 

Presently, I am on something for the anxiety.. maybe you can talk to your doc about something to help you?

Are you or have you been in therapy?

 

Also, if you're on facebook... there's many pages you can join re: depression, etc.... search for some.. they can be supportive.

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I would definitely make sure that you are seeing a counselor at least once a week. I have never experienced major depression, but I've had my low moments too (thought about ending my life a few times when I was dumped). Think about it, you're 22 years old, you've got a life to live that you're thinking about cutting short. Life can suck sometimes, but you've got to learn to pick yourself up no matter what.

 

Here's a few ideas for you: 1) exercise at the gym. This will help you not only physically, but mentally as well. When you exercise the brain depletes the levels of cortisol (stress), and it helps put you at ease. 2) Eat a healthier diet (you might be doing that already), if you put good things in, good things come out and you'll feel good about yourself. 3) Start a journal, great place to organize your thoughts and feelings.

 

You've been through a lot, you need to start small. Make small goals that you can meet in a short period of time and then make harder goals to reach. Lastly, try and do things you enjoy! Maybe it's video games, or reading etc... whatever it is, you need to spend time enjoying yourself.

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If you've tried meds and they aren't working for you, you need to let your dr know this... so they change it, get you off them or try diff meds.

 

Dont give up.... keep trying at this.

 

Like I said.. look for some pages on FB .... and you'll see you're not alone.

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I've tried talking to people, started taking meds. Made me feel even worse. Talking doesn't really work for me.. trust issues are bad.

 

Talking to "people" and talking to a professional are two different things. When you see a professional counselor or therapist, remember that their only job in the world is to be your advocate, totally and unconditionally. What you get out of it is a factor of the amount of trust you put in.

 

As for meds, most anti-depressants don't do much, and obviously there's no pill that can erase serious trauma that you've been dealing with for so long.

 

Anti-anxiety medication (a.k.a. benzodiazepines like Xanax, Klonopin, etc.), on the other hand, can be very effective in the short term (6-8 weeks) but you really need to be careful with those since long-term use can result in chemical dependence. Benzo withdrawal is pretty horrific so if you happen to get a script for them, make sure to just take as needed and not for a lengthy period of time.

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  • 4 weeks later...
Talking to "people" and talking to a professional are two different things. When you see a professional counselor or therapist, remember that their only job in the world is to be your advocate, totally and unconditionally. What you get out of it is a factor of the amount of trust you put in.

 

As for meds, most anti-depressants don't do much, and obviously there's no pill that can erase serious trauma that you've been dealing with for so long.

 

Anti-anxiety medication (a.k.a. benzodiazepines like Xanax, Klonopin, etc.), on the other hand, can be very effective in the short term (6-8 weeks) but you really need to be careful with those since long-term use can result in chemical dependence. Benzo withdrawal is pretty horrific so if you happen to get a script for them, make sure to just take as needed and not for a lengthy period of time.

 

As "people" I meant profession help. There was one I trusted with all my heart, I told her everything, she knew me so well. All of a sudden she had to change her position , she was no longer doing individual therapy. After that I couldn't talk to anyone else

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