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My ex and I were together for 3 years. We met long distance and after a year he moved one state to be with me. He was and will always be my soul mate and the love of my life. I know deep down even if I fully move on from him that if we had never broken up we would have lived a happy and fulfilling life. I have depression and anxiety and I let them get the best of me. He moved to me in August 2015 and In December 2015 we got engaged. By June 2016 I begged him to leave. I wanted to stay with him but my mental illness was desperate for alone time and space. I did not want to break up. He took this very badly. He went back home. By July we were NC.


Our relationship was not perfect. My mental illness dragged on us and it was hard but we were happy together and I knew he would never leave but part of my anxiety is disaster planning and through my thoughts of the worst that could happen I pushed him away. We remained long distance after he left but I think we mutually knew our relationship was over which led to the NC. During all this I found out I was pregnant and sadly I had a miscarriage. I was devastated but I did not tell him. By October I missed him so bad. We had spoken very little through out but I called him and told him I was still in love with him and always would be. He mutually agreed but he had a girlfriend at the time. He said he didn't love her and would leave her for me instantly. Well it took until December... But he did leave her. I was upset of course. He took 2 months to decide but I understand. He was hurt and didn't trust me after I made him leave. Well in early December 2016 which I still have call logs and message proof, we were back together. In full contact. He wanted to marry me still. I started wearing my ring again. I was going to move to be with him this time. We were whole again. Everything made sense.


Mid December I got was in the hospital due to my mental illness and I did not have my phone nor know his number by heart. After 2 weeks I was able to contact him again I was ready to explain and apologize and hoped he wasn't too worried. Hope he didn't think I was dead at least. He didn't answer my first call so I went on Facebook to check around and then I see it. The post that changed my life. He was married.


Literally right after I disappeared on him he met a girl. A girl who is literally a copy of me. Same build. Same crazy (blue) hair color. Same big glasses. Same style. Same interests. She was me. And a week after meeting her, he married her. On the beach. Exactly what we had planned. She wore the same kind of sundress I wanted. Everything. I was heartbroken. He called me back right then and I answered and explained everything that has happened to me. He was speechless. We immediately began the I love yous. The I miss yous. We talked for the next few days about how much he was in love with me and not her. How much he wanted it to be me so bad. I told him about the miscarriage and how badly I had needed him but tried to stay strong alone. All this I thought maybe he was going to admit it was a mistake and come back to me. Well that's when I realized he was sneaking around to talk to me.


While he was telling me I was his soul mate and he was in love with me and not her and he wanted me, he was hiding in the bathroom from her or going to the store. When she found out she messaged me and told me that he loved her and married her and she was going to have his baby. She told me if I did not stop harassing him the police would be called. I sent her screenshots proving it was very mutual and that was unnecessary as well as in a fit of anger telling her I'm sorry she married a man who will never love her like me. I do regret it somewhat but who marries someone after a week knowing they still love their ex? And she knew. He told me she knew everything and still wanted him.


Well I do have angry moments but I respected her wishes and I sent one last goodbye message to them both wishing them the best and telling my ex (who told me to secretly add him on things to stay in contact) that I would not do such things and that he should be happy and try to make things work with her. Well that was a week ago and today I was being nosy and I unblocked his Facebook and saw yet another heartbreaking thing. Not only did he marry her exactly how I had told him I wanted but now after less than a month they had the exact matching tattoo I had asked him for. I'm honestly devastated. How could he do these things to me? Maybe I could be happy for him if he wasn't trying to actually replace me and instead find someone new but it's me!! She even wears the same necklace that he and I picked out for me last year. I'm disgusted and heartbroken all at once and all I can think is how bad I messed up making him leave. It really all comes back to me making him leave. But how could he tell me he loved me one week and marry a stranger the next and tell me he was in love with me and not her the next?!?!


Since I told him not to contact me we haven't spoken directly. I know he still loves me. He tells me every day by updating his gaming profile that she can't see and it still clearly says he loves me. His name still has mine in it. His picture is a broken heart. We are basically communicating indirectly. I want so bad to reach out to him but I know it's wrong. He made his bed and now he has to lie in it...

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He's married now leave him alone. If you're obsessing maybe talk to your doctor about changing your meds as you reference you've been hospitalized for mental illness..? This isn't healthy.


My doctor said it's healthy for me to grieve. We were together less than a month ago and now he's married out of the blue. He also indirectly contacts me still so it's hard to move on. I'm trying but to my heart we were actually together 2 weeks ago because we had no contact and as far as I knew we were together.

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He doesnt love you, he loves the sex. He will say anything he can just to make sure he can still have sex with you. If you want this drama to continue, then continue to contact him or reply when he reaches out. If you want to break free from this cycle, then you dont seek and you dont reply.

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