Turned down at the club

[thejazzynator]

So I'm confused. I went to a club and was dancing and having a good time. I saw a girl keep eyeing me and smiling. I smiled back, I saw her trying to kinda make herself for me. So I took a chance and walked over to her and asked her to dance. I got a flat out no. It was embarrassing. However, I just kept dancing and eventually attracted other girls who just wanted to have fun. She got up and tried to stand by me and kinda get my attention again and I ignored her. I had asked her to dance so I don't get it. Was she just being mean? Maybe she was in a relationship but I would hope not thr way she was giving me the eye and trying to keep my attention. Was I too bold? I don't like having to finesse girls in a club I like to just be myself and have fun. I just got out of a relationship that ended badly and trying to build my confidence back up. I noticed that when I don't approach girls and just have fun i draw them in. If I try to approach them I don't get much luck. My thing is I get confused when I see they are into me and won't dance or wanna talk. Now I'm used to being approached so I don't have any "game" and don't want any. I guess I have to find my own way in approaching girls now.

[Jibralta]

Maybe she doesn't like dancing?

[greta96]

Could it be that she wasn't in fact eyeing you and smiling at you? The reason I ask is because this happened to me in a bar, a guy came to me and said "I saw you looking at me and smiling from a distance so I thought I should introduce myself" and I remember being surprised, because I had not done such thing. Sometimes I'm just too much in my head and I guess I was staring at some arbitrary space in the room, and the guy must have been on that trajectory and thought I was looking at him even though I wasn't.

Or, some people like to people watch, especially in a club setting I personally enjoy watching those on the dance floor. I may watch a certain person break the moves, but that doesn't mean I'm interested. There are many reasons why people will look and even smile at you, other than romantic or sexual interest.

 

Try not to take it as a personal rejection, at the end of the day it was just a girl in a club. My advice is to just be yourself the way you've been, have fun, and never go out with the intent to meet someone. If it happens great, if not, you will still have had your fun so it's a win-win situation.

[thejazzynator]

Could it be that she wasn't in fact eyeing you and smiling at you? The reason I ask is because this happened to me in a bar, a guy came to me and said "I saw you looking at me and smiling from a distance so I thought I should introduce myself" and I remember being surprised, because I had not done such thing. Sometimes I'm just too much in my head and I guess I was staring at some arbitrary space in the room, and the guy must have been on that trajectory and thought I was looking at him even though I wasn't.

Or, some people like to people watch, especially in a club setting I personally enjoy watching those on the dance floor. I may watch a certain person break the moves, but that doesn't mean I'm interested. There are many reasons why people will look and even smile at you, other than romantic or sexual interest.

 

Try not to take it as a personal rejection, at the end of the day it was just a girl in a club. My advice is to just be yourself the way you've been, have fun, and never go out with the intent to meet someone. If it happens great, if not, you will still have had your fun so it's a win-win situation.

 

She was looking directly at me and kept looking and smiling. My thing is why try to get my attention when you see me with other girls if you said no in the first place? But you're right, it's a club it happens. I think a friend of mine said women like to play hard to get. I'm not sure, but I had a great time nonetheless. I am trying to go out now to build confidence in asking girls to dance.

[DancingFool]

Part of building your confidence and avoiding problem people is learning how to reject game players and actually doing it.

 

You thought she was trying to get your attention, but then shot you down, but then continued to loiter around trying to get your attention again. She was playing games, you reject that, because you have more self respect than that and you expect to be treated better. You asked, she shot you down, what she wants and does after is no longer your problem. She showed you that she is not worthy of your attention that is all you need to know. You do exactly what you did, move on and have fun with other women.

[browser]

I think she was checking out the guy BEHIND you.