He said this means nothing to me

[Shanapattinson]

Meaning me, I meant nothing to him. Disconnected his phone. Haven't heard from in 31 days. Will I ever get better?

[gebaird]

Ouch, I'm so sorry. Healing is always possible, but rarely easy. How long were you together?

[agent1607307371]

Yes, of course you will. But you have to put the effort into it. You have to actively start not thinking about him. Keep yourself busy, get back into a hobby, do stuff that makes you feel good about yourself even if you don't feel like doing it.

 

But don't believe that he determines your self worth. He doesn't. And his opinions mean nothing to you now.

[Shanapattinson]

About 6 months 😢

[Shanapattinson]

Thanks. I just wish there was a perfect timeframe like you will be better in this amount of time. But I know if I don't even try I will be the same even a year from now.

[gebaird]

About 6 months 😢

 

That's usually when the "new relationship" brain chemicals start to dissipate. Some guys are just in it for the rush. So sorry you got hurt

[meoww]

I'm sorry this happened to you. At least you won't be constantly reminded of him this way. Not to excuse his hurtful and unnecessary words, but even that will help you stop idealizing the relationship.

 

Remember that this is the worst the pain will be. It's only going to get better from here.

 

Agent had great advice, I think it's all about making a conscious effort to not think about him or to seek approval from him, or make his needs a priority. It's not going to work all the time, and it won't feel good at first. Even if you aren't on speaking terms, there might be part of you that is still tied to him. That's inevitable, but like you said, if you don't put effort into it, it'll keep you from moving forward and getting over the hump. The only harder than this is dieting I think lol.

[Shanapattinson]

It just hurts to know I was nothing to him. And since it was so brief, I don't think he will even think of me ever.

Of course I know I shouldn't care and just move on.

[Shanapattinson]

I really hope you're right, that it doesn't get worse than this. I hope this level of emotional pain is at its height and things hurt less soon. lol I agree about the dieting. Trying to do that too and actually take care of myself.

[catfeeder]

It just hurts to know I was nothing to him. And since it was so brief, I don't think he will even think of me ever.

Of course I know I shouldn't care and just move on.

 

Sometimes people say the most hurtful things during a breakup just to solidify that they're slamming the door shut. It doesn't necessarily mean that you -never- mattered to him. He may have had trouble disengaging from someone who wouldn't let go before, so he reached for cruelty to ensure that this wouldn't happen with you.

 

I'd make it my goal to surprise everyone, including myself, with my resilience and ability to bounce back from this. Anyone who would say such a thing never deserved you in the first place, so living well can be your best revenge.

 

Head high.