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I got a first contact message for New Years


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So I had initiated contat with a short xmas text as it just felt so strange not to wish the person I had been with for 2 years well. They had not initated any contact with me other than a couple of likes on instagram but they were pics that had turned out pretty special so I thought nothing of it- its not real contact so ignored.

 

I was actually asleep when i got the message last night so have not responded. I'm not sure whether to keep NC or just some limited message. He wrote an upbeat encouraging msg that it looked like i was having lots of fun, snowboarding a lot and to keep nailing it at school. Pretty much the kind of thing I had wanted him to say to me for a long time, and that he used to say when we met. No emojis or anything though.

 

I have come to the conclusion that 2016 for me was not great. I think i bottled up the stresses of school (prob to try and not burden others) but it manifested itself in other ways, like negatively impacted my general attitude and i withdrew socially.

I am pretty sure that it was a big part of the demise of the relationship but I know it takes two...

I reached out to friends and strangers a couple of months ago as i just felt bad...things really have changed since then, i have met SO many new people, they all encourage me just a tiny bit, my confidence is at an all time high and I would no longer rely on one person for that as i have so many people on my team now. All aspects of my life have improved and i definitely feel more like my self.

 

I kind of want him to know that. in a short nutshell..that yes things are really good and why...but is it too much? Is it better left alone.

 

NC, cordial reply or positive changes reply??

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I would lean towards the cordial reply. The challenge with the positive changes reply is that you don't know if he's really up for a long conversation, and you don't want to make it sound like your life is good BECAUSE he's gone. You also don't want to send 5 paragraphs in a text message when he just sent you a short text.

 

If he responds to your cordial reply in a way that leads you to think he is up for a longer conversation, then you can explain -- in several reasonably-sized texts rather than in a single monster-sized text -- how the last few months have gone for you.

 

I'm glad you're experiencing positive changes and hope they continue -- whether or not things work out with this guy.

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It is not entirely clear who broke up with whom in your message and the circumstances that led up to it. Either way, keep moving forward like you have been doing as whatever you're doing is working well for you. If he is interested in you after dumping you then unless he tells you that clearly then ignore him. If you dumped him and now regret that decision call him and tell him that clearly. ONCE. No more. Then go NC until he reciprocates. You do not chase an ex lover. Ever.

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Thank you, a mans opinion (mind) is definitely helpful here! I was going to keep it short (not 5 paragraphs haha), but youre right, less is probably more for now.

 

Shiner, he broke up with me. I had become quite negative in my relating to people and life and withdrew socially (I did not realise this at the time however...I was just anxious about time and grades), not as outgoing as I usually am and he was led to think i was not the one for him. I tend to think i can handle everything myself...and usually I can, but this year the stress of university and working overtime was too much.

 

I have learned from this experience, to be more vocal about how i feel and reach out...and to make sure i keep up my social outings as they give me the energy and encouragement to keep going. Also if people try and help or give compliments, not to turn them down.

 

And you are right, not chasing. I do hope that there can be an opening to meet and have an experience (fun activity), rather than talk...actions speak louder than words after all. I have to remind myself, time does not matter...not to rush.

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I sent a very short message. cheesy comment/joke ref how much ive been riding (he loves that stuff+im a dork, plus its positive), thanks for the encouragement, happy new years, hope the job interview went well (it was awhile ago...but still).

 

Cheers guys... I also have a couple of meetuos/dates with other ppl this week too.

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