Things are so hard.

[Haycarnage1234]

So me and my gf broke up a few weeks ago, I won't go into it but it was my fault that she ended it, a stupid mistake..(I never cheated) anyway she said she wants be friends and will text back straight away if I text her, we have general conversations, I know she's still angry and annoyed about what happened, I want to get back with her more than anything so I'm trying no contact but failing miserably. What should or could I do about this situation?

She says she's certain she never wants to be with again but definitely wants to be friends and has been here to help me through it all, she's handling it completely different, she doesn't seem fazed by it and is carrying on with normal life, I know she's hurt etc.. I'm kinda stuck as I've not been in a situation like that before, usually with a break up it goes straight to NC etc and I can handle it, but I can't seem to deal with this one.

[TheT]

Mind telling us what the mistake was? But generaly speaking, find things to distract yourself. Who knows maybe in one to two weeks of no contact you invite her out for a coffee to reconcile and talk about changes you might be making? Or at least developing closure. This is the best I can do without more details

[Haycarnage1234]

Basically she was off with me for a few weeks, stopped being close to me, changed all her pictures on social media to just her, started putting only 2 or 3 kisses on texts, even when I tried to be close to her I got the vibe that she didn't want me near, anyway I messaged my ex partner to get my laptop off her as she had it for a while, I told my current gf and she was off with me all day, when I got home from work she told me she didn't have feelings for me anymore, but said she wants to try giving us till Christmas, at this point my mind was a mess, so I didn't feel I could talk to her about being scared to lose her especially after what she just said, I spoke to my friend for advice on what to do, my friend said maybe she's using you to furnish the house, as Id recently just gone halves on everything to do it up, I panicked and said it to my cousin who's older as I thought she might help.. Anyway I was in such a state so wasn't thinking straight, we and my gf spent the next day separate and didn't speak. After a few days we got really close again and everything was great, things were perfect, then one day she started being off with me and I feared the worst again, I said to my friend she seems off with me and said I was going to talk to my gf tomorrow, anyway whilst I was at work she went through my messages and text me ending it and packed all my stuff up.

[Shay21]

Hi. Was she angry at you because you texted your ex?

[Haycarnage1234]

Partly but mainly because I repeated what my friend.said to me to my cousin, as I didn't know what to think, and in that moment of madness I thought advice might help. I knew she wasn't using me as she's not like that but I didn't know how to approach her and now I dunno what to do

[Shay21]

I would suggest you to do the NC period. Please don't accept being friends with her. I have tried being friends and it does not work. Therefore, I went on NC period and it's been 9 days now. Of course it's too hard to stop contacts but it's the best you can do. And as you say, she's on and off with things with you, then you actually need to give her the time and space she needs. And yes exes do say somethings but they don't mean it at that time. Things like " they don't want to be with you". That's because people always think their decision is right at the moment. So you NEED to give her time and space and let her realise by herself that she needs you. And if she really does love you, she will realise and come a back on her own. Don't get disappointed if she doesn't text or call you while you're doing the Na period. Things take time to happen. Be patient.

Hope this helped.

[Haycarnage1234]

I would suggest you to do the NC period. Please don't accept being friends with her. I have tried being friends and it does not work. Therefore, I went on NC period and it's been 9 days now. Of course it's too hard to stop contacts but it's the best you can do. And as you say, she's on and off with things with you, then you actually need to give her the time and space she needs. And yes exes do say somethings but they don't mean it at that time. Things like " they don't want to be with you". That's because people always think their decision is right at the moment. So you NEED to give her time and space and let her realise by herself that she needs you. And if she really does love you, she will realise and come a back on her own. Don't get disappointed if she doesn't text or call you while you're doing the Na period. Things take time to happen. Be patient.

Hope this helped.

 

Thank you for the advice, I want her back so bad which makes it all the more hard but I suppose she's got to realise she wants me back(if she does)

I'll try and continue with the NC period regardless how much it hurts, I have a kitten that's staying at hers as she's looking after her till I can have her, should I ask how my kitten is? I mean I know she'll be looking after her really well and things.. I just miss my cat as well as my ex

[Shay21]

You can just be direct and ask about your kitten but that's all. Don't get too involved. And stay strict on NC. Don't worry. I will hope good things for you. And Iam hoping to get back as well with ex. Iam doing NC as well. Fingers crossed!

[Haycarnage1234]

Yeah that's true, thank you, I hope it helps you too, I've never done no contact in an effort to get someone back so hopefully it'll help.