I don't know what to do

[Neotame]

I'm a 19 year old female and I am in a long distance relationship with amother woman.

 

We were originally best friends for a while but I decided to give dating a try, since we both liked each other.

It was going really well for a while but she then began having a lot of problems. She had to move, lost her job for a while, got beat up by a creepy family friend and fell into a deep depression.

She took a lot of it out on me but I did my best to help support her through it.

Things aren't exactly easy for her now but she's employed again and doing okay. But she hasnt gone back to the kind and caring person she used to be... and we've been together for almost two years now.

I can understand how bad depression is, because I also struggle with it. But unlike me, she's medicated and has regular sessions with a therapist.

She's just never there for me. And I feel nervous talking to her because she always takes it wrong and gets pissed and upset at me. I try to be gentle with it but it almost never works out, she'll be like, "Im a terrible person, no wonder you want to leave me." And has accused me of cheating in the past.

I'm just exhausted at this point... Apparently all she does is sleep all day because of her depression and I barely get a text a day from her... It's like I don't matter. I don't really have anyone to talk to, since I kinda lost my friends when we started dating... So I guess that's why I'm here... I'm exhausted and sometimes I just want to leave but I feel like I can't. I almost did something foolish just to get away but, I just don't know anymore.

Sorry for this massive block of text.

[gebaird]

You don't have a relationship, you have a manipulative dependent. Some people are parasitic, and the only way to protect yourself from feeling emotionally drained (like you are right now) is to distance yourself from them.

 

I don't know if you're ready to walk away, but that would be my recommendation. Block her everywhere and find someone in the real world with whom you can have a real and mutually beneficial relationship.

 

I think it might be a good idea to ask yourself why you have stayed in this "relationship" for so long. Are you trying to save her? Is it because you have no one else? Is an unhealthy relationship better than no relationship at all? Are you worried about hurting her or being disloyal? What need does the continuance of this toxic situation fill in your life?

[Wiseman2]

Agree. Why be masochistic? It's not serving either of you. Tell her it's not working. She'll figure it out with her doctors and family and friends etc. You don't have to save the world to have a relationship. Maybe look into that tendency.

.. It's like I don't matter. I don't really have anyone to talk to, since I kinda lost my friends when we started dating... So I guess that's why I'm here... I'm exhausted and sometimes I just want to leave but I feel like I can't.