New year thoughts...

[AvaD21]

I haven't posted in a couple of weeks, truth be told I've been unwell with tonsillitis though I've still perused the forum.

 

If anyone read my last post, my ex came back in my life, AGAIN.

 

He contacted me over a period of a couple days and I agreed to hear him out. He had been casually seeing another girl, they weren't in a relationship.

 

I agreed to meet, he told me he still loved me, still felt I was the one for him, he didn't have as much in common with the other girl, he didn't have as much of a connection etc.

 

So the next day he talks to the other girl and she tells him she thinks they need to stop meeting. He freaks, starts to feel bad, says she hasn't done anything wrong for him to hurt her by ditching her and that he likes her more than he thought.

 

So I was left out in the cold. He said he felt like he didn't know if it would work with us and that it was basically a risk so in my mind, he wanted to stay with the safe bet.

 

I was so broke by this because the contact between us has still been there, all year and whilst he was meeting this other girl. I just wanted to be done, I couldn't bear the mind games or whatever it was anymore. I had my chances earlier this year to make it right and I messed up but I think he messed up by reeling me in and reeling me back out whilst he's been with this other girl.

 

So, I messaged her. Told her what had been going on. Out of hurt, anger but more so cause I knew he repercussions would be that he wouldn't contact me anymore. I knew there'd be no going back cause he'd hate me for messaging her. I don't know if he hates me but I assume he does. We haven't spoken since that night.

 

So here I am, New Year's Eve, alone. My family have all gone out and as I'm on meds I can't drink. Most of my friends are with boyfriends anyway.

 

But I have this feeling in the pit of my stomach. I'm assuming it's jealousy. I feel jealous that he's probably seeing in the new year with this girl, assuming again they're still seeing each other. They'll be together to see in the new year with not a thought to the girl he left behind. It hurts and I don't know why it STILL hurts. I'm trying t oreason that it's probably because I'm sat by myself & reflecting on the complete mess that this year has been and the irrevocable breakdown of a relationship that could have been saved if I'd made the effort when it counted.

 

I'm hoping against all hope that these feelings fade away at the same time as 2016.

 

Happy new year to my ENA'ers, I hope 2017 is a good one

[SooSad33]

So the next day he talks to the other girl and she tells him she thinks they need to stop meeting. He freaks, starts to feel bad, says she hasn't done anything wrong for him to hurt her by ditching her and that he likes her more than he thought.

- Best thing for you... is to walk.

 

He is messed up.. confused.. between both, as it may sound to me.

 

You dont want that... and i know this all stings.. been there

 

But- you want someone in your life who is ALl there. he is not. Someone who wants ONLY you.

 

You dont want to get involved in someone this unstable... do you?

 

 

Walk away... gain your self respect back.... etc. And work on healing.

 

Dont play these emotional games... just keeps hurting.

[Loralora]

Sorry to be so harsh but whatever you had (if you ever really had it is gone).

 

You need to accept this, I agree with the above writer. You should be with someone who is decided to be with you and doesn't string you along.

 

I have a feeling he keeps you around for sex....

 

You can do so much better...go out and find new guys forget about this jerk allready! You've been posting about him for a year now...move on please and start living he just tortures you.

 

Start 2017 without him!

[AvaD21]

Hey, we haven't had sex so I know it's not about that. I haven't spoken to him in a couple of weeks now though I thought he may have contacted me on my birthday. It is what it is, I wish it didn't end so bad but I'm not about to make it right

[Loralora]

In the earlier posts you said you did have sex even after you broke up. Much earlier posts. Still maybe he's hoping you will have sex again. Why would he say he loves you and not be with you! He's supposed to show that he loves you, not say it. If he really did he would be with you.

 

Him saying I love you is just an excuse to keep you around and buy time until he sees how it works out with other girls and if nothing else better comes up to go back to you.

 

It could be that maybe he's just confused but I doubt it. You should be with someone who knows what he wants and is sure about you.

 

If he didn't contact you on your birthday he clearly doesn't want to be in your life anymore, that could have been his excuse to contact you again.

 

You can't make it right with him! If you could you would have by now. You have been trying for over a year now to make it right.

 

Time to move on!