Is she in a rebound? Conquest for my ex!

[Foreverandever]

Me and this girl have been real close starting November, we've basically been dating but the only difference is, I'm living abroad (going back in a week permanently). We were the perfect couple but I was a to her sometimes, we had an argument once because I fell asleep talking to her over phone (arguing) and I decided to break it off in rage. I made several attempts later to get her back and it all went really well because she told me she still loved me a lot but I kept ing it up some way or the other.

 

Fast forward 3 weeks from the breakup and she has a new boyfriend. I don't actually believe she likes him, I think it's a rebound but she said it's because he was there for her when she needed me the most (breakup). I've made several attempts the past few days to get her back (very sweet btw) and I guess I was a bit too clingy and desperate, probably a 10/10 if there was a scale lmfao.

 

Also, I'm not sure if this is a sign or anything but earlier, she posted snaps (during New Years Eve) a picture of her holding hands with her bf, "thankful for you" and stuff like that but she deleted the holding hand. But she sent a streak kind of thing revealing it was just a joke with her sister. (I told her jokingly that it was cruel of her to do that and she deleted 2 more posts).

 

Anyways, I wrote a kind of closure thing saying that I was thankful for the amount of time we spent together and that I'll be moving on (my reasoning was that I didn't think she actually loved me because she was moving on too fast), she told me there's never been a guy like me to which I replied jokingly "there are tonnes of s out there" but she said there's more to me than that but said "let's not talk about this any further though lmao".

 

I'm scared that I ed up the whole NC thing and now I appear way too clingy.

 

Thoughts on if it's a rebound and how to get her back? More info will be provided if it was too vague.

 

Thank you!!

[SooSad33]

Involved since November? This November? That's so recent.

 

No.. she doesn't 'love' you.. sheesh. How old is she?

 

is it a rebound? I dont think so. Rebounds often occur after long term relationships come to an end.. and there are still many emotions involved for the Ex.

That, or very intense, short one, where again, feelings are still there.

 

What to take with you in this? If you're really into someone.. dont treat them like ****. And maybe work on that 'rage'.

if you find this continuing.. possibly consider seeking prof help.

[browser]

There's so much wrong here, I'll address the main issues one by one.

 

You've been dating for a month or two. She doesn't love you and you don't love her, whatever it might have been, she's probably over it, you aren't and that's not good. You're treating a short term dating situation as if it was something much more. It wasn't.

 

You broke up with her in a rage! What's with the poor anger management skills? You think you're coming across as a big tough guy but in fact you are perceived as a child throwing a temper tantrum. Are you really so out of control or is the rage a manipulative tactic to sort of punish her for not seeing things your way and/or to manipulate her into doing things the way you want? You'll find that most self respecting women will kick a guy like you to the curb once they see what you're all about. You might find a woman who doesn't mind being abused but that's no fun for either one of you.

 

You told her you'll be moving on because she obviously didn't love you. That's just weak, and really lame. If she wanted back in, she'd let you know. Telling her you're moving on, is to her, nothing more than 'the pesky mosquito is buzzing loud enough so that you can hear it finally fly out the window good riddance". You need to develop some self respect and stop sending messages like that which are also one last plea for her to rethink her decision that she's happier with the new guy- who probably doesn't berate her and break up with her in a rage.

 

Doing the whole needy/clingy thing is a pathetic and desperate measure. Women want guys who are strong, independent and protective, they're instinctively wired that way. They don't want to be with a guy who cowers between their legs like a moma's boy.

 

Stalking the FB page of your ex and even worse commenting on her posts in a negative condescending sort of way is even worse. It's called "boundaries" and it's called "finding something more productive to do then chasing after a person who doesn't want to be with you".

 

Just leave her alone and work on yourself. You need the attention.