Confused about new guy!

[Daim88]

So about 3/4 weeks ago I had a message from a guy on facebook who I saw we had a few mutual friends in common. I had noticed he had sent me a friends request a few weeks prior but thought it was for promoting purposes as I could see that he was a producer. Anyway we got talking at the beginning of this month by him sending me a message and I replied as he came across as a gentleman. We started talking throughout the day everyday then about a week later it turned into phone calls too. I particularly liked how he was very open and we were able to talk about alot of things.

 

We decided to meet up for a couple of hours and we hit it off. I was suprised as I generally tend to go off people quite quickly. He compliments me and looks at me like I'm the only girl in the world. Communication continued as normal with us talking throughout the day and I looked forward to his phone calls. (I dont tend to do calls unless it is under 5 minutes long).

 

We met again the following week and had fun, we also had our first kiss. Fast forward to the following week, which was Wednesday just gone, we were on the phone at 6am in the morning and I had the usual feeling I had when I spoke to him which was happy and feeling like a little teenage girl. However, when it came to later that evening when we planned to meet I felt a bit off. I'm not sure why but I felt like I didnt like him as much as I thought.

 

Anyway, I went on the date and we had fun but I started doubting whether I actually fancied him. Nothing had warranted this at this point so I couldnt make sense of my feelings. After we finished our game of crazy golf we went for dinner.

 

At the end of the meal he tells me that he has something serious to tell me and its a health condition. He states that if he doesnt take a pill to control it each day it is fatal. So I ask if this medical condition has a name. He says yes. So I ask if its a sexual medical condition because the information given is what popped into my head. He said yes again. So without saying it I asked how long as he had it. He says 8 years. I asked if he told family, how did he feel when he found out, how did his ex girlfriend take the news, what if he wanted children, did he have any symptoms that made him go to the drs All this questions he answered by saying he hadnt told family about it, he felt disgusted in himself, his ex was ok with it and they took precautions, there were ways around having children and it got the point where she was ready to take the risk of catching it and he didnt have symptoms it was a check up and he was told that he had it.

 

I was taken aback but I tried not to make it obvious, I didnt want to seem like I was any different or judged him because of it. His whole demeanor changed too, like he was ashamed to tell me. He said hed rather tell me now than wait until Ive developed feelings then find out. I thanked him for telling me sooner rather than later.

 

The subject changed and about 20mins later we are at my car. Sitting in my car he starts asking me how I feel. I said that its something I have to think about and I am taken aback but I cant judge him for his condition. He then proceeds to tell me that he was joking and that he does not have the medical condition he made me presumed he had. The medical condition he has is actually sleep apnea and he has to sleep with a mask to help him breath at night otherwise his airways will close. Naturally I was very annoyed. Why would you lie/"joke" about something like sexual condition and proceed to answer my questions? Now its really made me question whether I like him now as I cannot stop thinking about it. I am sure he must sense that I have become more distant. At the beginning i actually thought this could be someone that was meant for me but after Wednesday I am not so sure. What are your thoughts on this?

[rosephase]

Strange. I wouldn't like that one bit. He implied he had AIDS as a joke? On a third date?

 

Maybe he really has it and changed his story because of your reaction?

 

But either way that isn't someone I would feel comfortable trusting.

[Wiseman2]

Not to fond of guessing games myself. Surely he's self conscious about it, but to exaggerate in order to down play sounds like a trick or bad April fool's joke..

[limichelle]

That's odd he joked about something like that. He shouldn't be 'testing' you with mind games. I would ditch this guy! I'm sure his 'jokes' will only get worse from here on out.

 

Lisa

[Daim88]

Thank you, when I told my sister she said the exact same thing that he may have changed his story based on my reaction.

The look on his face after he told me I will never forget.

So much was going through my mind for those 20 mins I tried to be a decent person and not judge him for it as I know it cant be an easy thing to live with or tell someone about but you are right, I cannot trust someone that can "joke" about having aids.

[ParisPaulette]

Oh holy living hell I would block and delete this guy forever. I've had friends who died of Aids, it's really sick he pulled that as a "joke."

 

Who the expletive, expletive, expletive makes jokes like that? Total a&&hats who want to see what you'll do and mess with your head, that's who. If you continue to see this guy don't expect this will be the last time he pulls something like that on you and then does other stuff that's way worse.

 

It says a lot about his lack of character, a ton actually. I wouldn't even hesitate to dump someone like that. I had a date once tell me he'd gotten out of prison for having killed his ex-girlfriend, then two seconds later laugh and tell me he'd been "joking."

 

He still got dumped, block and deleted and I never looked back. My advice? Head for the door.

 

P.S. I don't think he has Aids. I can't see someone who has that condition doing that or saying that, even if they feel like they have to backtrack or are worried you won't like them. People who have it do learn to live with it, and they will be serious when they're talking to you about it. They won't then say it was just a joke.

 

I think he was joking and has a mean sense of humor and goes around doing this to get off on people's reactions.