Can someone give me insight, please

[TheString1]

I'm currently under NC after being dumped 2 weeks before Christmas, I tried just about everything for one week, she treated me like and used me as an emotional dumping ground eventually asked if we could be friends.

 

I tried for 2 days, then ignored her constant calls. I responded that night with a text saying sorry, I can't be friends. I love you and I've learned what I did was wrong but if she doesn't want to fix our relationship then let me move on, only contact me if you want to try.

 

She immediately calls, I answer and she flips out at how immature that is, should of talked to her about it instead of a text. Blames me for ruining Christmas, said I was a mistake. I hung up.

 

We were together for 1 1/2 years. We lived together for a year. She has a child from a failed marriage. I do as well. Her child's father was never around. She wanted me to still be in her child's life, and wanted to be in mine. I denied that as well. We broke up because I rarely put her first, she always had drama and it was annoying.

 

Since NC, 5 days ago. She sent a text wishing a Merry Christmas. Saying she would eventually like to get together to give my child her gifts.

 

I didn't respond.

 

She goes to a football game with her family and a long time guy friend (who I was jealous of, he would flirt too much) and posts a picture of them on facebook, I'm positive they aren't dating. I know she did this to piss me off. I was supposed to go to that game.

 

Then she calls my work, (didn't know it was her) I answered, and she asked for someone's phone number that I know she did not need to contact me for. I told her nicely I don't know it. She asked if I was being an ass, I said no and I don't know it but I got to go I'm busy and hung up.

 

Is this her idea of testing the waters or is she deliberately trying to get my attention for me to contact her?

[browser]

You're on the right track with going NC.

 

Now block her on FB and work on not wondering why she's doing what she's doing and who she's doing it with.

[Wiseman2]

It sounds like she won't let go and is resorting to some nasty behaviors, like calling at work,etc. Don't play games with this. Just tell her no, it's over and our respective children don't need adult drama. That children are not pawns for adults to use in manipulative games.

 

Tell her your goal is to protect your child and your heart. Block and delete her from all social media and messaging. Why torment yourself with this drama?

Is this her idea of testing the waters or is she deliberately trying to get my attention for me to contact her?

[TheString1]

You're on the right track with going NC.

 

Now block her on FB and work on not wondering why she's doing what she's doing and who she's doing it with.

 

I want her back. I took advantage of her, got too comfortable. Guilty.

 

Sometimes I feel like NC is wrong. Like she will resent me for it. Her support group is strong. Her family hates me, because they think she can do better. Even saying she needs to find a doctor.

 

I love her child like my own, and it hurts like hell. I regret how our relationship deteriorated.

[browser]

I want her back.

 

NC is the best way to handle the situation where you are dumped and the dumper is possibly uncertain.

 

NC gives you a chance to start healing and moving on with your life, and just "may' cause dumper to rethink their decision when they see you moving on. Dumper won't think "oh the dumpee is moving on, I guess they're not interested in me anymore, good riddance" if dumper still wants back in, because most people are selfish and think about what they want for themselves. NC does not reduce your chances of reconciliation, if anything it increases your chances but that's not why you do it.

 

PS if your family hates you that could be a mortal wound. You need to figure out why they think you can do better and work on it.

[TheString1]

This sucks.

 

I've never done NC this fast after a breakup. My gut tells me it's over for good.

 

I guess I can just work on myself in the mean time.

 

Thanks for reassuring I'm doing the right thing.

[catfeeder]

I can't be friends. I love you and I've learned what I did was wrong but if she doesn't want to fix our relationship then let me move on, only contact me if you want to try.

 

This is perfectly reasonable, and I wouldn't let her histrionics convince you of otherwise. I'd just respond to any and every attempt to discuss anything else with this same directive, and I'd dismiss all else.

 

Head high.