How do I get over it?

[Wonderer86]

I am new here and I need help. My husband and I got married in 2006 after we found out we were pregnant. We were engaged but decided to move up the wedding before the baby was born. We had only been married for 3 weeks when he started cheating on me. He continued that for a year and a half before I found out (she was a friend and they both continually denied everything until she got pregnant the second time and came clean). I forgave him and we moved to start a new life. Things continued to get worse when he started to abuse me mentally, emotionally, and physically. I left him a few times but always came back for fear his parents would take our daughter if I didn't. We finally left for what I thought would be the last time 3 years ago but came back this past June after he got help and was diagnosed and put on mess for mood disorder. He begged me to come back. Promised me and our kids he would be different. We moved back in June and in September he created a Facebook account under a false name to talk to women. Then in October I found out he was snap chatting with a woman he cheated on me with. In November I found his porn site membership after my 5 year old typed in you for YouTube and it popped up youporn instead. He continues to have other methods of talking to women but thinks I'm unreasonable and doesn't see anything wrong with his actions. Now tonight he added the lady he went through to find other women to Facebook. I feel betrayed and heartbroken and humiliated every time he does this. He blames his mental health and says he is seeking counsel again but I feel it's just more excuses. I don't make anything hardly for money (I work at the school so definitely not enough for myself and 3 kids to live on). We tried to get divorced before but I can't afford to, I was told my divorce would cost $20,000. How can I fix this? Am I making him act like this because I can't trust him? Where do I go from here? Help.

[boltnrun]

I got divorced by using a paralegal. Cost me $1000. And that included the custody and settlement agreements.

 

Can you look into using a paralegal?

[Jeffbobo]

People these days divorce for much much less than the hell you've had to put up with. As "boltnrun" has mentioned, it shouldn't cost $20k to get divorced but I'd suggest legal counsel to know what you're options are. Just do your research and footwork. You and your kids deserve much better than what you've been through.

[PrayingmantisX]

I would get out. I had a similar situation when I was younger. This is why I never married. I have 4 children. I am not against marriage. I just don't trust. All my children love me and I have always made myself available. Please never stay together for the children. They learn bad habits from this. I attach the bad apples.

[Hollyj]

Can you move to family?

 

This guy is terrible for you and the kids. Get out. Don't take him back again!

[Wonderer86]

I got divorced by using a paralegal. Cost me $1000. And that included the custody and settlement agreements.

 

Can you look into using a paralegal?

 

I tried paralegal before as well as legal aid, they were both very unhelpful. Legal aid called me a liar when I told him about my situation ( divorce papers had been filed but he refused to finish them and it was him who filed). Lawyer couldn't find the papers in the system to tell me what to do to dismiss those and file my own.

Paralegal told me it was a $20,000 divorce. Ugh.

[Wonderer86]

Moving with family is not an option. Tried that before and it went horribly. My kids even were asking to move back to their dads because living with grandparents was driving them nuts even.