Is love really all it takes for a beautiful long term relationship?

[Mira223]

To love him passionately as if we were a movie or to befriend him or to have a decent funny person or someone who shares the same interests as I do or what??

 

Because I obviously can't seem to find someone who has all of these. Am I asking for too much? Lol. I'm seriously considering rethinking this, what do you guys think really matter in a relationship? One that shall live and add to one's life in a healthy way. I do not seem to be falling madly in love with anyone the way I wished I would. So am trying to figure out whether you havd any experiences of loving someone wholeheartedly and going through a healthy rs.

 

I heard lots of people say real love comes after marriage, when you hv seen the other person in all their states and fell for them even harder.

 

What do you guys think?

[limichelle]

I had a fairy tale love for seven years to a guy that I was madly in love with and he with me. I was never insecure, treated like a Queen and loved beyond time! Then I watched him fall apart, in the blink of an eye he had a massive relapse with his illness and pushed me away! He begin to not be able to handle a relationship so for the last three years of our decade long relationship I barely saw him and one day in July he ended the relationship.

 

You can find it!

 

I'm told I'll find it again

 

Just don't settle.

 

Lisa

[1a1a]

Love is most definitely not enough by itself.

[ThatwasThen]

Loving someone is never enough. You have to be compatible in values, morals and sensibilities, you have to know how and be willing to compromise on issues that you don't agree on. You need to be able to communicate and be willing to change things when one or the other isn't okay with things or behaviours. You need to be a PARTNERSHIP as if you were running a business wherein the well run 'business' of day to day living is keeping things safe and happy.

 

Being practical as well as logical is important. Being "cherished" has a shelf life. Being "valued" does not.

[Wiseman2]

It depends on how happy you want to be. Fairy-tales usually turn to unhappiness quickly. Same interest? Well that's what friends are for, no? Funny? You want a comedian?

 

All the characteristics you mentioned lead nowhere. Why? They are not the ones that promote happiness. Look for integrity, empathy, loyalty, stability, passion, trust, a loving nature and things that will sustain you. What you are describing is sort of the junk food of dating. Quick fun and highs and then lots of heartburn when you digest.

[Seraphim]

Oh HELL NO love is not enough. You have to have common interests,common goals, common values and a healthy dose

of respect and compromise. You need good coping skills and communication and compassion. If love was all it took every relationship would succeed.

 

My marriage has taken some very heavy hits but with all the above qualities we have survived. We have been together 27 years, 22 of them married.

 

It definitely takes more than love . Love is the yummy icing.

[Capricorn3]

Loving someone is never enough. You have to be compatible in values, morals and sensibilities, you have to know how and be willing to compromise on issues that you don't agree on. You need to be able to communicate and be willing to change things when one or the other isn't okay with things or behaviours. You need to be a PARTNERSHIP as if you were running a business wherein the well run 'business' of day to day living is keeping things safe and happy.

 

Being practical as well as logical is important. Being "cherished" has a shelf life. Being "valued" does not.

 

This post covered it very well.

 

First thing you need to get out of your head is (your words) ..."as if we were a movie". Fairy tales don't exist in real life - they are exactly what they say they are - a fairy tale/movie. Marriage (or long term relationships) is nothing remotely like the movies you see. Marriage is very hard work - it is certainly not all butterflies and roses.

I've been married a very long time, probably longer than you have been alive and the success of our marriage comes down to having the same values, philosophy in life, trust, respect, loyalty, morals etc. Then on the opposite end of the scale, we have totally different interests/hobbies, lol. Mix it all together and we are extremely content.

 

If you forget about the movie image of what a happy relationship looks like and be more realistic, then you have a good chance of finding a good partner.

[SooSad33]

To love passionately.. like in a movie.. almost unreal.

Decent.. fun.. same interests.. yeah, that'd be good!

 

Of course.. things can OFTEN seem great in the beginning-- honeymoon stage.

 

is what happens.. after,, as you start to see who and how they really are-- to see IF the spark continues on.

 

Also.... YOU also need to be and feel of sound mind & heart.. in my opinion. How can you 'give' into that relationship, id you're not?

 

Love, I feel.. is when ABLE to build a meaningful relationship together.. and keep the flame burning.

Shows you click.. and ARE compatible.. even with all the flaws and challenges, life hands you.

 

MANY fail nowadays... I feel good for those who do okay. Honestly, I think, as we get older, the more challenges are in the way... and compatibility.

 

I can go on.. and on..

 

** One thing i can't understand.. is HOW someone can see the world properly.. when they're going a million miles an hour thru relationships!?

 

I have been treading lightly over the past year or so... just watching...because I've had some rough experiences.

And I met someone in the last year who, in a year has been thru about 5-6 women ( I think longest short term was 3 mos long).

 

I have no idea how they can do that.. so many.. so fast.. cause he is Male?

 

I met 2 men this year.. and both short term.. have been single most of the year though... continuing to work on Myself.

and in NO hurry to rush into something else... cause honestly.. its ridiculous to see how fast some will move... almost freaky

[PrayingmantisX]

I am still looking for the right one. I have had my share of great relationships. Everyone of them have taught me what I want. I have children from different relationships. I refuse to marry until I have found the right one. Btw , I am very close to my children. In fact they all live close to me. I chose my path.