Is he thinking of getting back together?

[thinkin2much]

We met up the other day (almost 2 months post BU--he broke up with me) to walk the dog. I had not expected anything positive out of this visit, and quite frankly expected that he may tell me that he did not want to be in contact in the future and did not want me to see our dog again. Instead, he was very affectionate and emotional throughout the walk and ended up breaking down into tears and sobbing. He apologized for the breakup and for the fact he hurt me. He told me that he loves me and will love me forever. He was hugging me, kissing me, and holding my hands. This entire emotional exchange lasted 15-20 minutes. He told me that he thinks about me every day and must have said "I love you" at least 10 times. My response was less emotional and I told him that I wasn't sure what to say since I had been spending time trying to come to acceptance and understanding of the breakup. I did allow him to hug me and hugged him back. We kissed a few times. When we parted ways, he again said I love you, and told me that he would see me soon. An hour or so later, he texted me that he hadn't stopped thinking about me and then sent me a picture that was reminiscent of a time we had spent together.

 

The following day, we talked on the phone and he was still positive, but his language sounded more like "I care about you so much." Today we have had some sporadic texting, but he has not offered any of the emotions that he did when I saw him the other day.

 

Do you think he is thinking about getting back together or is this more likely that he is just feeling sad and missing me?

[TheT]

Explain the kissing. Was it like a romantic kiss on the lips or a flattering kiss on the cheek?

[thinkin2much]

Explain the kissing. Was it like a romantic kiss on the lips or a flattering kiss on the cheek?

 

Hahaha...it was the romantic on the lips kind. Though there was also cheek kind, neck kind, etc.

[TheT]

Tough call. When in doubt, straightforward honesty would be my recommendation. Ask him and explain your confusion

[thinkin2much]

Thanks---I was thinking that this might be my best bet, but I didn't want to push him too much.

[rosecolored108]

Tough to say...how long did you guys date for?

 

It is clear that he has feelings for you...

 

Are you interested in getting back together? If so, you can confront him; just try to ease into it, and don't come on too aggressive...

 

Or if he is the type that needs to take control, you could just remain in contact, and see if it comes up on his end.

[thinkin2much]

Tough to say...how long did you guys date for?

 

It is clear that he has feelings for you...

 

Are you interested in getting back together? If so, you can confront him; just try to ease into it, and don't come on too aggressive...

 

Or if he is the type that needs to take control, you could just remain in contact, and see if it comes up on his end.

 

We dated for about a year and a half and have been friendly for about 10 years. The relationship was serious---had moved in together after a year, got the dog together, etc.

 

I am interested in getting back together, but know that he has to figure out some things for himself as well. (Mostly related to his career.) He did mention that he felt like he had lost control in our relationship, so I have been doing my best to remain supportive from a distance so he can feel like he has some control over this situation.

[rosecolored108]

Maybe try to remain in contact, but let him initiate most of it. Give some time for attraction to build, and if it feels like the discussion of getting back together comes up, then maybe approach then.

 

Sounds like he is going through a lot of emotions and conflict. Give him a bit of time to sort that out...

[HeartGoesOn]

It sounds like this was more about him relieving his guilt by taking the monkey off his back. If he wanted to get back together, he'd make that crystal clear, rather than risk losing you.

 

My guess is this move was to lessen his feelings about being the bad guy, so to speak. Either way, anything less than "I want to get back together" is simply breadcrumbs.

[rosecolored108]

^This could be true. Be careful of him just turning on emotions and then turning them off (the whole push-pull thing). This is common post break-up.

 

I would monitor the situation for a bit. If he keeps going hot and cold, it could be "breadcrumbs." If he is open to reconciliation, he should let you know, or you can confront him.

[boltnrun]

Oh yeah, my ex used to carry on about how much he loved me, that no one understood him the way I did, he'd hug me, put on the tears, tell me he really loved spending time with me...then he'd go right home to the woman he cheated on me with and left me for.

 

Words are cheap...see what he DOES.

[thinkin2much]

Thanks everyone. He said that he wants to continue to be in contact and would like to start spending more time together and with the dog. I guess we will see what happens...

[SooSad33]

You DO need to remember.. WHY the BU occurred in the first place.

 

Ending a relationship--- then returning.. because you 'miss them' is nothing. What about 'fixing' the reasons it broke down to begin with?

 

Slow this all down.. do NOT jump back into this.

 

he walked for a reason.. then HE needs to deal with that. And I am sure.. in 2 months.. that has not been dealt with.

 

Take some down time.. seperately and let the guy deal with his issue's.

 

Maybe.. someday.. when things between you 2 have settled and his head is a little more straight, things or possibilities can be discussed.

 

Because more often than not, things return to the way they were when it all ended.. if you catch my drift.

he broke it off once.. dont know if he'd do it again