My Ex broke up with me, now he is clingy?

[PurpleT]

I was recently dumped by a guy because he has feelings for another girl, but now he keeps on sending me messages, trying to call me and whatnot. He says he wants to be friends... I just need some time, I still really like him and would potentially get back together, even if just as friends... I just don't know why he keeps on calling and messaging if he likes someone else? What is that supposed to mean?

[rosecolored108]

He may be conflicted.

 

However...I would stay away. If you have "more than friends" feelings for him, then a "friendship" will probably not work.

 

It sounds like you just want to keep him in your life, in some capacity.

 

If you still really like him, how do you propose to be "just friends" with him?

 

Let him sort out his feelings. If he likes someone else, he needs to ultimately decide what he wants. Don't just linger there are a "choice."

 

You are worth more than that; if he wants to be with you, then he should make that clear.

 

He is probably calling and messaging because he doesn't want to lose you as an option; he may still have feelings there.

 

If I were you, I would go no contact and give yourself time to work on yourself and see what you want.

 

He needs to make a conscious decision to want you; going back and forth will only cause you pain.

 

If you want him back anyway, show that you are valuable and independent and aren't just waiting around as a friend to be "chosen."

[Wiseman2]

Sorry to hear this. No, he broke up so you have no need to hear from him or be his friend.

 

The friendzone route rarely leads to reconciliation so reflect and ask yourself if you want to be a backup if things don't pan out with the girl he dumped you for.

 

This alone would be a reason to go full no contact and delete and block him from everything 6717746]I was recently dumped by a guy because he has feelings for another girl

[Andrina]

Certain types of guys do this all the time. Is it because he thinks you're so special and he made a mistake? No. He wants to catch you in a moment of weakness and get you in the sack without being in a committed relationship. Smart women don't fall for this. He didn't think enough of you to stay with you. He allowed himself to develop feelings for another woman. He had his chance with you and he blew it. Past behavior predicts future behavior. If you two got back together, he'd dump you all over again.

 

Staying friends is not a good idea. It will prevent closure for you. Your future bf won't appreciate you being buddies with a man you once had sex with. And who needs a friend who didn't care enough about you and wasn't crazy enough about you to want you all to himself. Hang out with girlfriends. You don't need a friend like this, and he will just put you on the back burner when he gets a new squeeze.

 

You are the treasure. Remember this and you won't settle for breadcrumbs. Take care.

[ParisPaulette]

It means he hasn't gotten with the other girl yet or she's rejecting him. He wants you for backup and to make him feel better and to make him not feel lonely.

 

I'm sorry, but being friends with this guy and making him feel good about his choices to pursue someone else instead of be with you are a terrible idea - for you.

 

I would send him a text telling him he has chosen someone else, so now he has to live with that choice. Even if she doesn't want him, you are not a consolation prize so he needs to stop texting you. If you're willing to be friends in the future tell him when you have absolutely zero feelings for him then maybe you can be friends, but in the meantime he needs to respect your need for space and healing.

 

You send it and then you block him on everything.

 

This also keeps you from being part of a harem, because sometimes it dawns on people if they have someone new and an ex who still wants them they can now date two people or sleep with them at the same time with little feelings of guilt. After all they "told" the ex they no longer wanted a relationship and they have someone new. So if the ex chooses to let themselves remain engaged the person can tell themselves, "It's not my fault he/she got hurt. I told them I didn't want a relationship, it was on them if they want to keep sleeping with me or going out with me and they can't claim I wasn't honest about that."

 

And yes, it's a really crap thing to do. I would simply tell him the consequences of his not wanting a relationship with you is you then choose not to accept crumbs, and you then stop responding at all. He's being very selfish right now.