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Do I express my need for better communication? Or is it needy

Lonely Jade

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Boyfriend of a year is away for 2 months 6 days, 5 weeks 6 days left, I feel he is not bothering to communicate with me when he could be, he is on top of my priorities and talking to him each day is something I look forward too and due to him not doing the same it makes me feel very weary. I feel if he really cared and missed me it would be on top of his priorities to let me know and express this. Sometimes he calls me other days he will barely reply nor call me. He tells me he loves me for example if he is off to bed he will let me know he loves me and say goodnight but it makes me feel very disheartened when I say things like I miss him but he doesn't let me know he misses me. Do I just not initiate communication for a while and see what he does? Do I bring up the fact that his lack of communication and expressing emotion concerns me or is that needy?

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We need to know more details regarding why he's away?


You seem to revolve your life around him. He's away, go out have fun and do things that you enjoy. That way you won't be sitting there waiting for his phone call or texts. I wouldn't talk about it until he comes back. Always communicate these things when you are face to face.

Right now, yes, it does comes off as needy according to what I've read on your post.

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After a yr the relationship should be more secure than this. Try not to conduct a relationship over text. Clearly he's busy on holiday with his family. He hasn't forgotten about you. You need to get busy and not revolve your life around his texts and become clingy and annoyed.


You can tell him you demand he text xyz often and demand he respond with "miss you", etc.because you need it to feel secure. Then his parents will raise an eyebrow when he tells them he "has to" text you, like chore you need him to do. then they'll start to question why he's even dating you if you need him on such a tight leash..

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Boyfriend of a year is away for 2 months 6 days, 5 weeks 6 days left
I could be judging a bit harshly, but I feel like the extent to which you're counting and noting the number of days is pretty telling. It definitely makes it look like your world revolves around him way more than it should and that he would most likely want it to.


Here's the thing. As cute and affirming as it can be, missing someone isn't a good feeling. Maintaining a healthy and practical level of disconnect that reflects the reality of the distance is a perfectly fine coping mechanism.


It'd be one thing if you two were going weeks at a time without communicating, but I don't think you can rightly call someone out simply for not calling every night. What are you doing to keep yourself busy while he's gone? Do you have friends of your own whom you hang out with? Any hobbies you can take advantage of the extra time to pursue?

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He is away on holiday with his family.

I do plenty of things with friends etc, for example tomorrow I am going to a music festival for 3 days, then 2 weeks after that I'm off to Melbourne for a shopping trip and then a week later Queensland with my mum, I hang out with my friends but I can't be constantly breathing down there necks there is lots of time I just have to myself and I just wish that I was as much of a priority as I have made him.


So would it be better to let him initiate all conversation with me? Right now I keep it to a minimum I'm not smothering him with messages, I guess I'm just someone who likes to express my emotions and equally receive them yet don't.

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