I dont hurt when i get rejected romantically...is it normal?

[1gentleman]

hi everyone, thinking back to my first Jr. High school crush that rejected me, that hurt. However, in high school I lost my mom and dad due to unusual circumstances. I was raised by relatives, neighbors, and friends of my parents. The rejection by both biological parents seems to have really HURT me. So when I get declined for a date by a girl I really like or girl I really like stops dating me after 4 to 6 months, I don't feel the sting. Is it possible that the loss of my family made me immune to romantic rejection. My friends always ask me why it seems like nothing bothers me even when hot girls decline me or leave me. I don't open up to guy friends either, the minute I do, I feel like they can use stuff against me later. I do go to church once a week and on holy days of obligation. Was thinking if my own blood rejected me, then I should not expect better from those that are not my family. Is this feeling normal. I share this experience on online forums to cheer up those that have been rejected romantically. That is nothing compared to rejection from family. Also, seeing a therapist with a white coat in a room with yellow flowers will do nothing for me. My question to everyone, are my feelings normal?

[jonny15]

The parent thing is probably what it's about. I wish I was like that. It brutally hurts everytime with me.

 

With you, it sounds like that's how you are emotionally.

[Clio]

Your feelings are normal given that you lost your parents during adolescence. Being abandoned like that can do that to you. However, being closed off means that noone can get close to you even if they are worth the risk. It prevents you from giving and receiving. The price of not getting hurt is loneliness. Plus, it may be that you are choosing people that resemble what hurt you because they feel "familiar". It's a shame you reject therapy. There are lots of different kinds and white coats are not always the case. The right one might help you become more aware of the way your mind distorts reality due to past traumas. Reading about it might also help. You had a traumatic upbringing. What you are (not) feeling is normal. However, what happened to you was not the norm. Most adolescents in the developed world do not suffer the loss you did. It sounds like you are carrying around a wound that affects your relationships. Healing this is not a straightforward process and it takes time. Awareness of how your past affects your behaviour is key. Then you can strive to do something about it. Not easy but if others have done it, maybe so could you. Good luck.

[James516]

Not feeling hurt after being rejected is ideal, it allows for moving onto finding someone else without taking rejection personally or getting hung up on it. There is no normal, everyone has their own way of reacting. So the point of your post isn't clear other than maybe to start this topic in order for people to take the bait to recommend a therapist or analyze you which you then can debate.

 

If at some point, for example, you are not feeling attachment to people or if you were someone who is devastated by rejection and either situation was a concern for you, the concern itself is what makes things not be "normal" which then would be something for you to sort through. But that's not the case since you are stating all is fine with how you handle things.

[Wiseman2]

What happened with your parents?. It sounds like they didn't reject you but rather couldn't care for you and then your family who not only didn't reject you stepped up and cared deeply for you.

 

As far as being turned down for dates well everyone learns to roll with the punches because that's disappointment not some deep rejection of you. why would your friends ask silly questions? If they are massively crushed when a girl turns them down, they have a lot to learn about life and curbing their egos.

I lost my mom and dad due to unusual circumstances. I was raised by relatives, neighbors, and friends of my parents. My friends always ask me why it seems like nothing bothers me even when hot girls decline me or leave me.