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Wanting more

Gardeningfool

By Gardeningfool
in Dating Advice

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Gardeningfool Explorer

Gardeningfool

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Hi everyone! Things seem to be going very well. I'm happy and in love. We have established a good solid foundation and expressed that we are both in love. We spent the holidays together. Christmas eve with his family. Christmas day with mine and we are going away this week on thursday to a romantic bed and breakfast.

But like always my mind has me going. I want more. I want a life with this man. We are both teachers and we are off this week. He has no plans for the week and neither do I. We even expressed how bored we might be on Monday and Tuesday. Wednesday night we are having dinner, spending the night and then leaving in the morning for our getaway. I guess it just suprises me that he didn't suggest that he wanted to spend some time, or grab lunch or something on Monday or tuesday. when we are working we only get to see eachother about once a week because we are busy and since we are off we could spend more time together. I didn't want to suggest because I really had the vibe that he didn't want to spend the time with me. I know that we are spending a getaway together but for two people who are in love and not working, have the free time don't you think that he would want to be with me? Maybe I am being insecure or clingy but I want more. We constantly take about the future and say things like when we move in together and when we have kids stuff like that.

On Christmas we were opening up presents and he handed me a small wrapped box. I opened it and it was a gift from zales. All different emotions came upon me. Excitement, nervous, and I opened them and inside there was a beautiful set of diamond earrings. Today we spoke briefly on the phone and it came up he said that I delayed opening up the gift. I told him that my mind started to race and he said that he thought that that is what happened. He said that when that time comes he hopes that it would of been something that we talked about and that I would be suprised by it but he would of known what my answer was. In my head I was like of course it would be yes silly but I responded with really you don't know what I would say and he said no I don't. When I ask I want to know even before what you would say and I don't think either one of us are ready to get married just yet. I don't know why that converaation made me happy and sad at the same time.

I know he loves me I can feel it when we are together and I can see it in everything he does. I want more tho. I want to see him more frequently, see what he looks like when he gets home from work, after a run, his routine during the week, I want to see it all. Is this ever going to happen?

He will be 40 in September I would think that he wants to move things along but things seem to be moving at a slow pace. We have been together since june. He is also very set in his ways and routine. Should I express that I want more? Should I just wait? Every time I post something on here its almost like he reads it because it happens then. Maybe I'm posting because of wishful thinking. Any advice on this? As always thanks for reading.

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limichelle Mentor

limichelle

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I think you are rushing things instead of letting things progress the way they should. I would think talk of marriage should come after a year of dating at least. You are still getting to know each other. Just enjoy the time you have and try not to overthink things about him not seeing you enough. You are going away on a vacation soon.

 

Lisa

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mustlovedogs Veteran

mustlovedogs

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I agree with everyone else above.

 

There was a study of when relationships fail. Something like 80% fail within the first year. You're still in the honeymoon phase. At 6 months, the biggest milestone should be saying ILY. Slow down. But if you want to see him some more, you can come up with an idea and extend the offer to him. You can plan a date. Don't wait for him to initiate.

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Hollyj Grand Master

Hollyj

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Having to spend every free moment with him - this week - sounds a bit suffocating. He probably has errands and things to catch up on. You are sounding clingy and insecure. Why don't you catch up with friends and errands?

 

You have been dating for six months, slow your roll!

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browser Newbie

browser

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You are sounding clingy and insecure.

 

I was thinking the same thing. Not sure why I didn't write this originally.

 

I'll take it a step further and say that lots of guys, including myself would be extremely put off by such aggressive, insecure behavior and lots of us would be running for the hills.

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Gardeningfool Explorer

Gardeningfool

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I was thinking the same thing. Not sure why I didn't write this originally.

 

 

I'll take it a step further and say that lots of guys, including myself would be extremely put off by such aggressive, insecure behavior and lots of us would be running for the hills.

 

I am feeling insecure and I agree with you. I definitely don't act aggressive or insecure to him. That's why I come on here to express exactly how I'm feeling and get some advice. I think I'm so insecure because I'm afraid of being hurt

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Ms Darcy Mentor

Ms Darcy

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Not really in a rush. I guess I really just want to spend time with him see what it would be like. See if it is something I really want to do with him in the future. I'm not sure

 

I think you are in rush if you are wanting to spend more time together and are daydreaming about marriage it seems.

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