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Prosecco? No thanks.


Zaphod

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I know it's Christmas, but please keep this vile abomination away from me. Everyone seems to stock up on this bubbly pisswater by the metric ton at Christmas because "ooh look we're drinking champagne" - no you're not. You're drinking acidic soda stream wine. What tastes like rat's urine and gives me heartburn for the rest of the day.

 

Zaphod : "Got any Sailor Jerrys?"

Host: "What's that?".

 

Zaphod: "Ok, got any Captain Morgans Spiced?"

Host: "What's that?".

 

Zaphod: "Ok, moving down the ladder. Got any Captain Morgans Dark rum?"

Host: "No".

 

Zaphod: "Got any Jack Daniels?"

Host: "No".

 

Zaphod: "Got any Jamesons?"

Host: "No".

 

Zaphod: "Got any Makers Mark?"

Host: "No".

 

Zaphod: "Ok - got any Highland Park?"

Host: "No".

 

Zaphod: "Ok, moving down the ladder. Got any beer?"

Host: "No".

 

Zaphod: "Ok, what have you got?"

Host: "Prosseco. Either the white one what tastes of mouse urine or the pink one what tastes like rose petals mashed up in water".

 

Zaphod: "Got any water?"

Host: "No".

 

Zaphod: "Got any strichnine?"

Host: "No".

 

Effing bloody Prosecco. Everywhere I look. I'm going to dream of being chased down the road by a giant bottle of Prosecco later, I know it. You get this poison down at the supermarket for a few pounds(or American dollars) - in the old days I guess it was Cava, or Asti Spumante, right?

 

Prosecco? Zaphod says no thanks. And even the smell of it makes me sick.

 

Bah bloody Humbug. I'd rather drink neat blackcurrant liqour that no one else wanted.

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mojito.

 

Yeah man. Some of these cocktails, if made properly are great. I'm good at cocktails, I do 'em from all the fresh ingredients. Not the pink parasoly ones but more like the ones like say old fashioned, and whisky based ones etc.

 

A good mojito is great. Even margaritas are great if made properly, not from that vile "instant margarita" bottle mix you get, but properly with the old fresh limes, sugar syrup and whatnot.

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I like good, well made, champagne occasionally, the operative words being "good" and "well made.".

 

Moet Chandon or Perrier Jouet type of good.

 

I'm with you Z, that stuff is crap, they use inexpensive grapes, and they skimp on how they process/produce it.

 

The result? Major ICK.

 

On the regular, give me a good German beer and I'm a happy camper!

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FTW Beer! One for you browser, to attempt to change your mind.

 

 

 

And for Katrina, a glass of this. Recommended as a right affordable champagne (if you're a bit hard up) -

 

 

 

And, alright, ok, I don't mind being for a moment -

 

 

 

But I would only drink this with a woman on her request. To drink this under any other circumstance = .

 

Although who'll bet me money to go in my local biker bar and order a glass of this in a very loud voice? I'm a bit skint at the moment. Bids are welcome.

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How do you know what piss tastes like anyway browser?

 

(Hint - there is a macho answer you can give here, to do with drinking one's own piss in the Desert in order to survive).

 

Yeah I knew I was walking into that one when I said it tastes like piss.

 

Ok well I've gone down on a woman after she just took a pee so I have a pretty good idea.

 

How's that?

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I knew it! Romance isn't dead!

 

This exchange reminds me of a joke, although it's better spoken than written. I'll do my best.

 

This woman goes to a bar and picks up a guy, they go back to her place. He's going down on her and starts mumbling something that sounds like "urinate, urinate". She asks him to repeat it to be sure, and he says "urinate". So she figures what the heck, she's gotta go anyway, she lets it fly and covers the guy in piss.

 

He stands up shakes his hair out, wipes his face and says "Why the f^&k did you pee all over me?"

 

She says well you said "urinate".

 

He says "I did say UR an 8, but now you're only a 2".

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If your beer tastes like piss, you're drinking the wrong kind. There are indeed a lot of pissy domestics out there, which you need to avoid like the plague.

 

I had something on Christmas which I couldn't pronounce, but it sounded something like menage a trois unibrow. i was too tipsy to remember the label and I have no idea how to go about finding it. I don't think I can go in the liquor store asking for a unibrow threesome.

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If your beer tastes like piss, you're drinking the wrong kind. There are indeed a lot of pissy domestics out there, which you need to avoid like the plague.

 

I had something on Christmas which I couldn't pronounce, but it sounded something like menage a trois unibrow. i was too tipsy to remember the label and I have no idea how to go about finding it. I don't think I can go in the liquor store asking for a unibrow threesome.

 

I actually am requesting some help with this from a beer snob.

 

It was a...strong belgian ale. It definitely had plum/raisin/fi notes to it and the clove aroma was strong on this one.

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It was a...strong belgian ale.

 

Well that narrows it usefully down to approximately 25,000 possibilities.

 

I was watching a program where they went into a Belgian bar and someone tried serving - was it Jamie Oliver? It looked great actually. They all take it really seriously, makes the British interest in beer seem positively amateur. I think the patrons of these bars ended up more or less calling British beer pisswater.

 

There's some good ales, but they're so heavy to drink, a lot of them are like soup.

 

It definitely had plum/raisin/fi notes to it.

 

In this Belgian bar on that program if they asked for plum/raisin/fi and you served them plum/fi/raisin, they'd cut your head off.

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I stopped drinking beer when I was in my early 20's, due to the fact that Australian beers taste rank and most imported beers taste like more expensive Australian beers.

 

I do enjoy some of the Belgian beers like Leffe. However, many of them cost around $20 dollars for a pint.

 

I mainly stick to cider now - dry/sour/acidic kind not the sugary apple juice kind. Ten years ago cider was seen as a "girls" drink, which I always found the idea that drinks were gendered kinda dumb. Now everyone drinks cider.

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I stopped drinking beer when I was in my early 20's, due to the fact that Australian beers taste rank and most imported beers taste like more expensive Australian beers.

 

I do enjoy some of the Belgian beers like Leffe. However, many of them cost around $20 dollars for a pint.

 

I mainly stick to cider now - dry/sour/acidic kind not the sugary apple juice kind. Ten years ago cider was seen as a "girls" drink, which I always found the idea that drinks were gendered kinda dumb. Now everyone drinks cider.

 

Clearly you haven't caught up with the times, craft beer has taken over now. It's all about micro breweries now, pale ales, IPAs, stouts, so many choices and all taste very different to one another, none of that XXXX or VB stuff. I'm sure you can find some of the tastes that suit you.

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Clearly you haven't caught up with the times, craft beer has taken over now. It's all about micro breweries now, pale ales, IPAs, stouts, so many choices and all taste very different to one another, none of that XXXX or VB stuff. I'm sure you can find some of the tastes that suit you.

 

Clearly you've made the assumption about what types of beer I'm referring to. I don't enjoy any of those craft beers either.

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I can't even recall the last time I've had plain ole champagne. It's not to my liking. Too bubbly. I do have it maybe 1-2x a month though in the form of mimosas when I go to brunch. I really like mimosas. They use Prosecco because it's the cheap stuff and let's be honest, it doesn't really matter what you mix into the orange juice as long as it's alcoholic. Although to be honest, I think I may like screwdrivers with brunch a bit more than mimosas. Maybe that will be something to try at home.

 

Wow, y'all really like beer. Not a fan myself. I really dislike any and all beer. I love hard cider, liquor, and spirits. Give me a good, strong mixed drink any day and I am happy. I have all the fixin's at home as well. Wine is good as well, I prefer a nice dry Riesling although I do enjoy red wine and ice wines sometimes. No Cardonnay here though.

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Unibroe is a Quebec beer company - still one of my favorites!

Was it Fin Du Monde? If not, you should try it Cheet.

 

Yes, yes!!(to the brewery company) It wasn't Fin Du Monde(now I have to try), it was Trois Pistoles upon google research. Oh my goodness. See, I knew someone would understand my unibrow beer language. Thank you!

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