Found out disturbing info about my dad

[somechick99]

I'm currently living alone with my dad but am visiting my moms side of the family for Christmas. My parents divorced when I was one and I know it was mainly due to my dad buying property without consulting her first, and I figured that was that. Growing up I often found my dads porn lying around so I knew he was a sexual guy or whatever but I never got a creepy vibe off him.

 

Well last night my aunt and I were talking after having some wine and she asked me if I was molested when I was younger (I always feel like I have been and showed tons of signs growing up, but I have zero recollection of much before age 4 or so). I told her people I didn't think had done it, including my father. She told me she didn't think it was him either but he was a "weirdly sexual guy." I asked her what this meant and convinced her to tell me. While I still don't necessarily think it was him, she ended up revealing to me several facts about him that disturb me.

 

First she just told me that he tried to cheat on my mom with her (her sister) which didn't really surprise me because my dad has mentioned finding her attractive and how he "chose the wrong sister" several times. No clue why he'd say that to me but he has. But then she revealed that he had apparently hidden cameras around the house without my moms knowledge during their marriage because he has a fetish of looking up women's skirts. I don't think my aunt made this up, especially because a lot of the porn I found of his were "upskirt" videos.

 

The fact my dad violated my mom this way and clearly has no respect for women disgusts me. I'm also upset my mom never told me this information seeing as I'm living with this guy, and I apparently don't know him as well as I thought.

 

I'm thinking at this point it may be the best for me to get the hell out of his house immediately, not necessarily because I think he's doing anything like that to me, but because I don't respect him after hearing this stuff. It also shows I don't know what he's capable of, and for all I know he may end up creeping on one of my friends. I haven't asked my mom about it yet and am somewhat scared to, especially because my aunt was very hesitant to tell me in the first place.

 

I'm just asking for any advice on what to do, how urgent is it that I move out etc. Should I even ask my mom about it? As stated earlier I am sure my aunt is being truthful. Thanks in advance

[Ms Darcy]

I would try to move out as soon as you can find an apartment you CAN afford. It's not an emergency, at this point, but don't have female friends over.

[fabact]

I would try to find my own place and also, you may want to try some therapy. I know people dont like to hear that but you may need someone to talk to someone about this. but not your father, mom or aunt, at least not right now.

[Rising100]

I wouldnt feel comfortable living under the same roof after this. I would also suggest moving out soon.

Dont confront him or ask him anything, find your own place first and deal with him later in case you want to find out more.

As for yourself, I would recommend therapy. And after knowing this, I would be curious to find out more.

[catfeeder]

Can you live with your Mom?

[browser]

Just because your dad allegedly wanted to mess with your mom's sister doesn't mean he's a child molester, and it makes no sense that he'd hide cameras around the house because he wants to look up women's skirts. Think about it, the cameras would have to be pointing straight up in the air, and that many years ago there wasn't anything like the technology there is today, the cameras would have been HUGE.

 

I'm more concerned about your gullibility and ignorance, how you just buy into this unsubstantiated gossip provided by people who are known to be biased in the first place.

[lukeb]

Yes I pretty much agree with browser, in all likelihood your aunt is a malicious gossip her story doesn't make any sense. It is always best to form your opinion about people based on your experiences with them rather than whatever malicious gossip is being spread about them. This is how you would want to be treated too. Don't repeat this stuff to any of your family unless you want to be a gossip yourself, you should have actually admonished your aunt for saying the things she did, I would have. In a sense you are rewarding her for her disgusting behavior by listening to it. Having said that, there is nothing wrong with moving out if that is what you want to do.