Ex has a new girlfriend...

[silently]

I am such an idiot. I was doing really well, hadn't looked at his profile in months. He wished me a merry Christmas today and I gave in and looked at his profile only to see he got in a relationship with someone yesterday. I wish I hadn't of looked...it's Christmas Eve and I was really excited about today as I have a fun Christmas Eve party to go to...now I just feel down. Just last week my ex poured his heart out to me saying that our relationship meant a lot to him and that he was sorry for being so horrible to me toward the end of our relationship and after we broke up - giving me false hope as usual and now I see this? Can someone help me feel better? He's made this whole year so hard on me even when we were together and I just want to enjoy Christmas. Do you think I should block him so I don't keep finding myself in these situations? I'd like to start fresh in 2017 and I don't want him to keep popping back up whenever he finds it convenient and play with my feelings. I don't know what to do - this is my first break up, first time experiencing all the pain that comes with it. Thank you, and Merry Christmas!

[nutbrownhare]

Yes, block him in every way possible. Your first breakup ever is always the worst, because you haven't had the experience of living through it and coming out the other side. But get over it you will!

 

Enjoy your party, and have as Merry a Christmas as you are able.

[Viceroy]

Sorry to hear that, I am going through a very similar situation just like you, know that you are not alone. You have to avoid looking at their Facebook, I know it's easier said than done. The problem with Facebook is that you only see snapshots of the best in their life, you've got no idea what is going on behind the scenes. Therefore, it's very easy to believe that they are living a perfect life and you are not.

 

I am not sure if he is still on your friend's list, but if he is, you need to nix him. I have struggled too and I feel like blocking can be a little extreme, but if that's what it takes to prevent you from looking at their Facebook then by all means do it. Try and journal your feelings, especially today and on New Years! You can organize your thoughts and feelings, and you can also write about how you're going to enter the new year with a clean slate.

 

Don't worry about what your ex said, and don't look too much into it. He offered you a brief apology, just accept it and prepare yourself to move forward. As for enjoying Christmas, take a minute to be thankful for what you have (friends, family etc....) and be appreciative of them. Don't worry about your ex, thinking about them is normal and you don't want to suppress your feelings. Just don't get consumed in thinking about him, that's why I recommend the journal.

 

Hope you enjoy your holidays! Don't be too hard on yourself either

[Ms Darcy]

I think every thread is the same. Either block him or not. But accept the consequences when you do not.

[Creacion]

There are two transactions occurring here. You thinking he's giving you false hope and him expressing an apology for acting like a during the relationship. The latter is not about rekindling a hopeless relationship but seeking forgiveness that you both tried but it didn't work out. It's okay to recognize the relationship happened, you both weren't a good fit. He's respected that. If you still have feelings for him, embrace it for the feelings but not the chaos. He's accepted it. Maybe time will allow you to accept that it was good to have had the relationship but you're both seeking different experiences and that means with different people. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year! Make your experiences positive and make them count.

[tina-rocks]

It's time to let go! The only person who is suffering is you in all of this. Your torturing yourself by checking up on FB and running searches.

 

This is hard believe me I know, but it's time to let go. Your a beautiful person, realise it and take a deep breath, exhale and open your eyes and see a new exciting world waiting for you, to grab it with both hands.

 

Christina x

[silently]

I am not sure if he is still on your friend's list, but if he is, you need to nix him. I have struggled too and I feel like blocking can be a little extreme, but if that's what it takes to prevent you from looking at their Facebook then by all means do it. Try and journal your feelings, especially today and on New Years! You can organize your thoughts and feelings, and you can also write about how you're going to enter the new year with a clean slate.

 

I deleted him a long time ago, and I actually do keep a journal! It really does help. Thank you for your post though, it made me feel less alone and a lot better. (:

[silently]

Thank you everyone for your posts. After spending time with family and friends tonight, I'm feeling a lot better. I took a step back and realized it really isn't that big of a deal and it was going to happen sooner or later, I'd find out eventually so might as well be now. Great time to start fresh and move on with the new year coming up.

[Ms Darcy]

You may have deleted him but you haven't blocked him. You know better.

[Clio]

Blocking him is not extreme. It is the healthiest option. It would facilitate your healing bigtime. You may not realise it but learning any new info through common friends posts or public posts he makes is the same as breaking NC. It undermines your healing and keeps you stuck.