What does he want?

[smilesweetly]

My ex broke up with me in October and we had been together since March. We used to work together and we had known each other for a year before dating. We had a pretty good relationship. We met each other's families, always hung out at least once a week, and talked every day. He told me he loved me after meeting my parents. We hit a bit of a rough patch towards the end of September. His roommate stopped paying his half of the bills and said he paid them when he didn't. The house that they lived in almost got foreclosed on because of it. It caused some stress on the relationship because he kept everything bottled up and didn't tell me.

 

We moved past it and things were good for another month. Then one day, he told me he loves me and he hopes I have a good day. Then, twelve hours later he said he needs to have a talk. He called me when he got off of work and said he wants to break up. He never gave me a reason as to why he wanted to break up. He kept saying he doesn't know what to tell me and he hates to do this to me. It was completely unexpected. He met up with me the next day to reimburse me for some tickets I had bought for us. He kept hugging and touching me. He was saying he hated to do this, but he still loves me. As we were saying goodbye, he kept saying he will see me soon.

 

I kept NC for about a week when I sent him a text just asking for closure so that I can move on. No response. During that time and December 9th, he kept viewing my snapchat stories. He wanted to stay friends on snapchat because he said we had a great relationship and I'm the only ex he ever wanted to actually keep in contact with.

 

On Dec. 9th, he sent me a text. I ignored it because I was out drinking with some friends and I wasn't going to make the mistake of texting my ex while intoxicated. I was updating my snapchat story instead. His text basically said that he had been thinking about me lately, he wasn't expecting me to text him back, and he wanted to see how I was doing. The next morning, I woke up to two more texts from him. They said that he doesn't mean to bother me because it's obvious that I don't want to talk to him, but if I change my mind he would like to meet up to talk. It turns out he viewed my story and thought I was deliberately ignoring him.

 

I responded back and told him why I didn't text him. We texted for the rest of the morning and decided to meet up the next day. We met up at Panera and we talked for a couple of hours. He told me he broke up with me because he got scared of commitment. He was the one bringing up marriage and babies and he realized he wasn't where he wanted to be in his life financially and whatnot to live that kind of life with me. I went back to his place to see the cat we adopted together and nothing happened between us. He told me he didn't bring me to his place to hook up or to immediately get back together. He said he would like to take things slow and for us to get back to where we were if we were able to. While we were hanging out he kept saying that he likes me and he wants to continue to hang out and talk.

 

Well, after that meet up he would snap me and I would respond, but he wouldn't answer my responses. This went on for a few days until I got tired of it and stopped answering them. I sent him a text a week later just saying I hope he's doing well. He said he was and that he was busy. We texted for a few minutes before he stopped answering in the middle of our conversation. He sent me a text the next night, but I was being petty and didn't answer until the next morning. We got on the subject of the new Star Wars movie and I told him I saw it and it was alright. He said if he knew I wanted to see it, he would've asked me if he knew I wasn't going to refuse. I told him I wouldn't have refused if he had asked me. Then he just stopped texting me again. I went out last night and posted some pictures on my story. He sent me a chat saying I looked beautiful in the dress I was wearing. I replied back saying thank you and how badly my feet hurt from the shoes I was wearing. He opened it up and hasn't responded.

 

I just want to know y'all's opinions on this. If he wanted to take things slow, then wouldn't he want to talk to me and not just randomly stop talking to me? Also, if he does ever contact me again, should I ignore it or confront him about him just never responding to me?

[TheT]

Short answer: confront him, but calmly.

 

Honest communication will be key. And you said it best: "petty". If you acknowledge your half of the fault in this texting/snap drama, he will too (if hes of comparable character). In a mature relationship, couples dont play games like that. Straightforwardness amd honesty will be the answer.

[ThatwasThen]

His 'crumbs' are working well to keep you hooked yet not with him.

Ask him to chit or get off the pot because is ambiguity isn't making any sense. If he doesn't respond right away then forget he exists, do the mental work you have to do to get over him and then wear that pretty dress out as bait for a new fish. This guy is a bottom feeder and not worth your time.

[Wiseman2]

Unfortunately he's still reiterating about being afraid of commitment and now there is even less and he's hoping for a fwb or netflix and chill situation.

He told me he broke up with me because he got scared of commitment. He told me he didn't bring me to his place to hook up or to immediately get back together. While we were hanging out he kept saying that he likes me and he wants to continue to hang out and talk.

[Almira23]

I would tell him to cut the **** out and either become involved in your life or move on.

 

Thatwasthen is right. He is just throwing you "crumbs" to keep you around and make sure you haven't moved on to someone else.

 

You have to ask yourself if it's really fair for you to have someone in your life, who does not see you, rarely speaks with you, and gives you hope that you two will be together and then cuts off communication.

 

I would block him off of your social media and move on with your life. You need to heal from this relationship and meet someone else, who knows how to treat you properly.

[Hollyj]

He wants the benefit of a gf, without the commitment. Insulting. This way he can date others, and also have you on the sidelines.

 

It doesn't sound like this guy cares about you, by his lack of response. He is a waste of time.

 

There is nothing to confront. All you have to do is look at his lack of action, and there is your answer.

 

Block him.