Left the memory box at my door, with a note that I just read. Wow.

[lillorenzo23]

So last week, my ex of two years decides almost three weeks after he leaves me, and two weeks of NC that he's going to leave a memory box that we made together in front of my door and text me to let me know it's there (to which I didn't respond). Then, the next day, text again to be sure that I got it (with a dig included saying 'I'll assume you don't want anything else from me since you can't acknowledge anybody from your past'.)

 

I didn't want to see the memory box because I knew it would make me super upset, so I had my friend go get it and keep it. What I didn't know (and found out last night through my friend) was that he left a note with the box. I felt like I had to read it, so she got it for me. Here's what it said:

 

"If you don't want this you can throw it away. I'm tired of walking over it and have no where to put it. It's yours, so I'm not tossing it. Your thumb drive is in there too, under the flap so be careful. I took anything that was mine."

 

Wow. It honestly amazes me that somebody could be so cold and act so unaffected when losing a huge part of their life and two years invested together. I've been a part of this website for a month now, and have read a lot online about break-ups, healing, ect. I understand that we'll never understand, because we ourselves don't have the capacity to treat somebody that way and some people just do. It's just a shame that you get to know somebody, and you think you know the real them, and then you find out how cold-hearted and insensitive they truly can be.

 

It's a sad world we live in when people can treat other people this way. Just needed to get this off of my chest.

[Andrina]

Yes, it's very cruel when a person not only interrupts your closure by intruding their unwanted presence in your life, but also injects poison into it. I've been there, when I guy I dated for a year and dumped me had the gall to text me five months later with this doozy: I know that you probably hate my guts, but do you ever miss me?

 

The only thing this type of man is good for is that when you actually meet a good man, you appreciate the decent one that much more.

[rosecolored108]

People handle break-ups differently. Yes, you are correct that some people are colder than others, but this may be his way of "dealing" with the break-up. Since he was the one who broke up with you, he probably just wants a clean slate and to move on quickly and with as little emotion as possible. If you were together for two years, I am sure he has some kind of feelings for you (or had).

 

It is very difficult to decipher post break-up behavior. People often say one thing and do another or mask their emotions. Some are straightforward; others are not.

 

You will go crazy trying to understand or decipher these behaviors. It honestly is not worth your time. It ended and probably ended for a reason.

 

It is very hurtful when, someone you invested so much time in, treats you this way. I know the feeling. However, you just need to move past it and understand that this may be their way of dealing with things, unfair and cruel as it may be/seem.

[rosecolored108]

Andrina is right. Men (or people) like that often work to highlight better men when they come along; when someone treats you properly, you will take notice. Everything is a learning experience.

[Hollyj]

Why should it surprise you! He cheated on and dumped you repeatedly.

 

Please get some counseling to understand why you kept on returning to this dysfunction. You're treating yourself as a victim, when you were very compliant in this situation. You should have been done with this guy early on. Focus on you, to understand why you would put yourself in this situation. Once that you do not see yourself as victimized you will start to move on.