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I'm going to keep this short and simple.


I was dating my boyfriend for almost 2 years until I fell into a very dark and vulnerable place. I don't know if it was hormones, lack of affection or what but anyways... A few months back I was wanting to break up with my boyfriend, but he had a traumatic life experience he was suffering through. So, I decided to think it through to make sure it's what I wanted and what was really going on with me.

During this time, my friend and I went to hang out with a guy that she had been seeing and a couple of his friends. She told this guy that I had a boyfriend, so it was clear before we showed up.

One of his friends ended up kissing me because I had gotten drunk. The night after I told my boyf what happened and he was mad about the way I handled the situation but he forgave and we moved past it.

After this happened, it was clear to me that I didn't want to be with him. So I tried to break up with him but it didn't end up working, and I felt very stuck. So I stayed with him, trying to convince myself it was right and that it was just a rough patch in our relationship (that's what my dad told me I should try to do). For about a month after I still felt so weird and confused and still didn't want to be with him.

I ended up hanging with this group of guys again with my friend. I went with no intentions of anything happening, just friendly board games and tv watching with maybe a glass of wine.

Well, he ended up kissing me again. I didn't kiss him back, and I felt confused because I thought he was aware of my boyfriend. I avoided him as the night went on, he later tried to make out and I said no. After that I told my friend not to leave me alone with him.

Anyways, apparently he didn't know about my boyfriend so it became this whole thing and he got really mad at me for leading him on even though I wasn't and I told him I'm in a very vulnerable position and that I was trying to get out of the relationship with my boyfriend but wasn't going to do anything until I did because I didn't want to cheat on him.

So, a couple days later I broke up with my boyfriend and it sucked but at that time it's what I needed to do. I took a few weeks away, trying to focus on myself. Had no intention of dating anyone (didn't date anyone), I just wanted to figure out why I was in such a dark place and heal.

I ended up seeing my boyfriend a couple weeks later so I could get my shoes back and realized I love him and he wasn't the reason I was feeling the way I was feeling. I told him I'm not emotionally available and so he knew that I was just hurting and needed time alone.

But a couple weeks after that we ended up getting back together.

Now.. my question is... is it necessary to tell him what happened the second time with that guy? I wasn't going to because I didn't do anything wrong and I was preparing to break up with him and had no feelings for this other guy and didn't even contact him after we had broken up. I just want second opinions!

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What you really need to do is drop this passive stance and start owning up your choices and actions. You let that guy kiss you. It was YOUR responsibility to uphold your boundaries NOT anybody elses. Things happened because YOU put yourself in these situations. Because YOU let them. Continuing to blame alcohol or other people would mean that you are untrusworthy. It is a lack of character that you seriously need to address if you want to develop healthy relationships in your life. Either address head on whatever makes you want to break up or get out. Adopting a passive stance and letting things "happen to you" like that doesn't make you less responsible or less of a cheater.

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Why does your father think you should stay with someone you don't want to be with? How old are you? Are your parents arranging a marriage for you?


You are not happy, it's on/off, you want to explore freedom and dating others and it's just not working at all, why stay?

I tried to break up with him but it didn't end up working. trying to convince myself it was right and that it was just a rough patch in our relationship that's what my dad told me I should try to do
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