Haycarnage1234 Posted December 22, 2016 Share Posted December 22, 2016 Me and my gf were together for over a year and had a great relationship, until I lost my job and we didn't get space so grew distant, we had an argument and spoke about it but I still had feelings of worry that she didn't want to be with me, when we spoke we sorted things out, but I stupidly spoke to my friend about it who said something that made me panic, and I over reacted and without meaning in the heat of the moment ranted and sounded like I was slagging my gf off when my friend said something I didn't defend my gf and I know it was wrong, because I was scared to talk to my gf at the time things built up and I'd talk to my friend instead of my gf, anyway my gf found the messages and had ended it with me, she's really angry and doesn't want to be with me anymore, she said she wants space to try and process things and clear her head, I feel terrible about it all and would never do anything like it again, what can I do to repair my relationship? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gebaird Posted December 22, 2016 Share Posted December 22, 2016 It sounds like this relationship was somewhat turbulent. You can focus on the incident with the discovery of your conversation with your friend, or you can look at the deeper issues. If everything else had been going perfectly, perhaps she wouldn't have felt the need to end it when she saw that conversation. Perhaps she would have at least given you a chance to explain. Your best option at this point is to apologize to her and tell her that you would love to meet her to talk, but that you'll understand if she's not ready. Don't beg and plead, and don't argue with her -- just accept her decision and hope and pray she'll soften her heart in time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rosecolored108 Posted December 22, 2016 Share Posted December 22, 2016 It is unlikely that the conversation was the only thing that caused her to want to end the relationship. It just may have been the final push she needed. Agree with GE-apologize and explain to her what happened. Tell her you would like to meet up to talk things out; however, if she is unwilling and wants to stick to her decision, let her explain and do that. You will then need to accept it. You may reconcile in time, but give her the space she asks for or else more problems will ensue. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wiseman2 Posted December 22, 2016 Share Posted December 22, 2016 Ok too much going on at once. The discord, the job loss now this friend, etc. Give her the space she wants and you both need. Use it to reflect on what's really going on here. Who is this friend and what was said? I am guessing since you kept leaving the gender of the friend out of the post that this is a female friend who you where chatting with and complaining about your gf to? I stupidly spoke to my friend about it who said something that made me panic, and I over reacted and without meaning in the heat of the moment ranted and sounded like I was slagging my gf off when my friend said something I didn't defend my gf and I know it was wrong, because I was scared to talk to my gf at the time things built up and I'd talk to my friend instead of my gf Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Haycarnage1234 Posted December 23, 2016 Author Share Posted December 23, 2016 Yeah it was a female friend, one who I've know since being a kid, she basically said maybe she's using me to furnish the house and said she has issues, as she keeps going hot and cold towards me. And it's because I didn't defend my partner in the convo is the reason she's so angry and wants me gone, I've tried explaining but she just says there can't be a relationship if I can't talk to her which I can under normal circumstances, it was only because her distance towards me that I felt I couldn't, as a lot of the time it seemed like she didn't want me around. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wiseman2 Posted December 23, 2016 Share Posted December 23, 2016 The only solution is space for now. She's raw from seeing very unflattering remarks behind her back between you and this female friend. Use this time and space to find a way to find a more appropriate apology. But wait if and until she contacts you. Right now any talk will be fuel on the fire until she calms down and processes things.Yeah it was a female friend, she basically said maybe she's using me to furnish the house and said she has issues, as she keeps going hot and cold towards me. And it's because I didn't defend my partner in the convo is the reason she's so angry and wants me gone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Haycarnage1234 Posted December 23, 2016 Author Share Posted December 23, 2016 Now she's making digs saying well you won't be here soon etc, it's like she's never cared at all, but I know she does/did. I agree about giving her space. And will definitely do so. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
luisannalui Posted December 26, 2016 Share Posted December 26, 2016 Shes using this as an excuse to leave you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
browser Posted December 26, 2016 Share Posted December 26, 2016 This sounds exactly like another thread posted by a different user a few days ago. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
browser Posted December 27, 2016 Share Posted December 27, 2016 Correction, the thread was started by the same user. Dude stay with one thread, no need to post the story more than once. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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