If he cheated on her does that mean he will cheat on me?

[Melodymelody]

Hi everyone!

 

I started seeing this new guy he is the friend of my best friends boyfriend.

 

There are rumors that this new guy I am seeing broke up with his girlfriend because she found out he cheated on her. He never admitts it to me.

 

Since my best friends boyfriend also has cheated on his previous girlfriend before he was with my best friend I am concerned that they might be the same. Because as they say if you wany to know someone, see what kind of friends they have.

 

So does it mean (if the rumors are true) that if he cheated on his previous girlfriend he will also cheat on me?

[Zaphod]

Not necessarily. That would be illogical to assume.

[qwaspolk82]

Hi everyone!

 

I started seeing this new guy he is the friend of my best friends boyfriend.

 

There are rumors that this new guy I am seeing broke up with his girlfriend because she found out he cheated on her. He never admitts it to me.

 

Since my best friends boyfriend also has cheated on his previous girlfriend before he was with my best friend I am concerned that they might be the same. Because as they say if you wany to know someone, see what kind of friends they have.

 

So does it mean (if the rumors are true) that if he cheated on his previous girlfriend he will also cheat on me?

 

Highly likely if he has cheated in the past he will do it again. My ex husband - habitual cheater. He has cheated on every single girl he's dated. I knew this before I got with him. I was stupid. He claims he never cheated on me while we were married - that it didn't "count" before marriage. But he cheated on his first wife all the time before and during marriage.

 

I tend to go with once a cheater, always a cheater.

[Wiseman2]

How long have you been dating? How is it going so far? Do you like him? Are you exclusive? If not then it's not cheating if you are both seeing others.

 

Try having the exclusive talk first. No communication = why not end it?

 

To be honest almost everyone has the potential to cheat...or be loyal. If you are hunting for reasons to dump him, you'll find them whether they really exist or not.

I'm a 28 year old female with a very busy lifestyle. I almost never go out, I don't have the time and it's not like you can meet anyone serious at night clubs.I don't use dating apps, I think people there are creepy they pretend to be someone else.I haven't had a relationship in 3 years.I'm having a problem on finding "the one".

[j.man]

Will he? No way to tell. Will you ever trust him not to? Probably not.

[Scoe141]

It sounds like there are some reservations with this guy right out the jump. Starting out a relationship with this in mind is going to make you feel insecure. Beginning a relationship like that isn't good. You should feel free and happy and excited. Not the opposite.

 

Keep that in mind... good luck.

[Krankor]

It's certainly not etched in stone but it means it's more likely. Just how much more likely is very hard to say. Depends on if it's something he did under a particular set of circumstances or something he does because it's something he does.

[ParisPaulette]

So who is spreading the rumors and where and what exactly did you hear? Are there other red flags with this guy? How does he treat people in general and how does he speak about everyone from his parents to the homeless guy on the street corner? That's a far better judge of a person's character for you than rumors that may or may not be true.

 

If you're pretty sure the rumors are true, or you have it from a trustworthy source, and he's refusing to admit to it, then that's a pretty bad sign. But the factor that none of us can decide here is who is spreading the rumors and why?

 

We are the company we keep, so yes who his friends are is also a deciding factor to his character. But look at how he really treats other people, not you, and how he talks about them, not you. Right now you're the new girl, he's going to be nice to you, of course. But you can seriously judge how your relationship with someone is going to go by how they treat and talk about others in their past and present.

 

If every girlfriend before you is an expletive, if his brother is a giant pain, if that homeless guy is just faking it, if the waitress is a B because she forgot to bring the water, if his boss is an a((hole, and if it just leaks out or heck flows freely these are the red flags you pay attention to. Sure all of us have conflicts, that's just life, but when you see someone who generally appears to feel contempt for everyone in his or her life and around it that's your biggest indicator yes, of a number of unsavory things including whether or not they'll cheat on you.

 

Because how they talk about others and treat them is how they'll talk about and treat you too when the newness wears off.

 

So maybe look at that rather than rumors. It's a whole lot better judge of what a person is or isn't capable of than unsubstantiated he said/she said.

[SherrySher]

If it's proven that someone cheated, it would be a good idea to watch out for it. But you've only heard rumours.

When it comes to cheating, there are some people in this world that can cheat and some that couldn't. It really does depend on what kind of person they are and if you have it in you to do that to another person. So if you know 100% that someone has been a cheater in the past, it is a good idea to be wary of them.

[Melodymelody]

I know he's not seeing anybody else(he said so) and he knows I am not either. I don't see him often because I don't have much time.

We have been seeing each other for a month. We are considering it exclusive.

 

We live in a small city where a lot of people know each other and have the same group of friends...so the rumors come from the friend of another friend and so on..

 

He usually doesn't speak bad of other people...but I will keep that in mind the next time I talk to him.

 

Today I got a little suspicious he told me he has left his car in a place where they fix cars, it's been there for almost two weeks. That other city where he has taken his car to fix is a 45 minute drive. He told me he's going by bus to see if they have finally finished doing something in the car's engine.

He stayed there for about 3hours and a half or four.

I called him two times and asked him what he was doing. He said he's waiting in that place where they fix cars. Can a person even wait there?! Weird!!

 

I asked him why not wait till they call you on the phone to pick the car up. He said he needs to put pressure on them to do it faster and that's why he goes.

 

It's like the 3rd or fourth time he goes to that city for that car.

 

And in the end of the day I asked him so did they finish it? He was like "no, they told me they're still waiting for a car piece they ordered".

 

I still have to talk to him about this when I see him...but it's wierd. Why did he wait 3 hours then (not counting the time it took to go there and return by bus)?

 

I was suspicious if he waited somewhere else, or with someone else...

[mfrankie1]

 

It's like the 3rd or fourth time he goes to that city for that car.

 

And in the end of the day I asked him so did they finish it? He was like "no, they told me they're still waiting for a car piece they ordered".

 

So he's been getting on a bus 3 or 4 times to go check on a car that he doesn't know has been fixed yet? Why isn't he ringing them up? It costs him more to have it in there so long, let alone paying to get on a bus and check up on it.

 

I would tell him his story doesn't make sense and say you'll come and keep him company next time waiting 3 hours in a garage. Then see.

 

Or perhaps I'm jumping to conclusions...I'll be interested in other opinions.

[Melodymelody]

I asked him why can't you just call them on the phone...he said he needs to be there to put pressure on them to finish it faster.

 

I asked him why he has to take it so far...he said they don't have that kind of car service in our city (he just bought this car 1month ago it's advanced).

 

He also has his fathers business (selling flats) in that city. But if he had waited in his fathers business he would have said so. He said he waited in the place where they were fixing(doing something) to his car.

[mfrankie1]

Hmmm. I would call him when he's there, see if he picks up as normal or go there with him next time. I would say putting pressure on them by going there doesn't make sense. It's a bad service if he needs to babysit them and if he's got a flash car then he should get the services he paid for to fix it, I'm sure it's not cheap...

[Melodymelody]

Hmmm. I would call him when he's there, see if he picks up as normal or go there with him next time. I would say putting pressure on them by going there doesn't make sense. It's a bad service if he needs to babysit them and if he's got a flash car then he should get the services he paid for to fix it, I'm sure it's not cheap...

 

That's excatly what I did I called once I was sure he was there. He seemed relaxed. It was quied around him when I called. Then the next time I just rang his phone once and hung up to see if he'll call back...and he called back pretty normaly asking "did you just try to call me".

 

I would love to go with him and see if it's true. But he'll think I'm crazy and controlling...he already called me controlling one day when he had to meet up with a friend after work to give him some document and it took him two hours to do it eventhough he said he'll be home in 30min. So I called him to see if he had gone home when he said he will and he said stop calling me to control me.

 

I told him I will call you anytime I want to. He said ok. Just as long as you call because you want to talk to me and not to control.

 

So now if I say I want to come with you to get your car he'll probably take it very badly.

 

P.S. He said he bought that car from a friend.

[Wiseman2]

All the suspicion will make dating and getting to know each other an ordeal for both of you when this should be the fun stage.

 

If it's not car repair checks, it will be something else because the constant theme is suspicion, not car repairs.

I was suspicious if he waited somewhere else, or with someone else...

]

[mfrankie1]

Yeah, it feels a bit suspicious to me but difficult to tell. I wouldn't like someone telling me not to call either. If he thinks you're being controlling for wanting to come along with him for company (because it sounds like he's not doing much but hanging around on these trips) it sounds like he wants to keep you at a distance.

I would either end it or keep watching out for red flags without accusing him outright of anything because he may well be innocent and like his own independance.

[Melodymelody]

Hmmm. I would call him when he's there, see if he picks up as normal or go there with him next time. I would say putting pressure on them by going there doesn't make sense. It's a bad service if he needs to babysit them and if he's got a flash car then he should get the services he paid for to fix it, I'm sure it's not cheap...

 

Yes...I hope these red flags don't keep popping up because I have things to do and I can't keep on "patrolling" him, neither do I want to.

[mfrankie1]

Exactly, you're not his mum and it's exhausting to police someone; it should be a partnership.

[Melodymelody]

Thank you to everybody for all of your help..

[ManyDates]

Cheaters are often repeat offenders. I knew a woman that was cheating on her husband a few years ago with a guy that was cheating on his wife/gf, they divorced and she married the new guy. Just saw her FB status a week ago - the new guy was cheating on her and now she's into divorce #2.

[Melodymelody]

I talked about it with him today and he told me I can go with him to pick up his car the next time he goes if it's ready...

 

He said they have a place inside where people can wait..

 

Maybe he isn't a cheater...I will try to give him the benefit of the doubt..

[Sportster2005]

Hi everyone!

 

I started seeing this new guy he is the friend of my best friends boyfriend.

 

There are rumors that this new guy I am seeing broke up with his girlfriend because she found out he cheated on her. He never admitts it to me.

 

Since my best friends boyfriend also has cheated on his previous girlfriend before he was with my best friend I am concerned that they might be the same. Because as they say if you wany to know someone, see what kind of friends they have.

 

So does it mean (if the rumors are true) that if he cheated on his previous girlfriend he will also cheat on me?

 

The only factual thing we can conclude is he is a cheater. Maybe he won't cheat on you. But you should be thinking bigger. What kind of person cheats on another. If they can't be trusted to not cheat, what can he be trusted with?

 

I would never date someone that cheated. I wouldn't trust them with my secrets, my bank account, or anything requiring trust and honesty. You could argue it was a one off, and he shouldn't be judged by his past. Go ahead, argue it all you want. At the end of the day you'll be with a cheater. If he cheats or steals from you, don't complain. You become an accomplice when you decided date a know cheater.

 

Cheaters should be imprisoned along with murderers. They cause unbearable pain and destroy lives. For some reason in the West they don't get punished under criminal law.

[Melodymelody]

The only factual thing we can conclude is he is a cheater. Maybe he won't cheat on you. But you should be thinking bigger. What kind of person cheats on another. If they can't be trusted to not cheat, what can he be trusted with?

 

I would never date someone that cheated. I wouldn't trust them with my secrets, my bank account, or anything requiring trust and honesty. You could argue it was a one off, and he shouldn't be judged by his past. Go ahead, argue it all you want. At the end of the day you'll be with a cheater. If he cheats or steals from you, don't complain. You become an accomplice when you decided date a know cheater.

 

Cheaters should be imprisoned along with murderers. They cause unbearable pain and destroy lives. For some reason in the West they don't get punished under criminal law.

 

I agree with everything you said...but he never admitted on cheating so I don't know for sure if he really cheated on his exes before..

[Sportster2005]

I agree with everything you said...but he never admitted on cheating so I don't know for sure if he really cheated on his exes before..

 

Sorry, I just re-read it at normal human speed and was able to digest the part where it was a rumour

 

That puts you in a very unfair position. You're going to have to make an important decision with less than ideal information.

 

To answer your question in a broader sense, yes, I think it's very possible he will cheat on you. If indeed he is a cheater.