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I tried to breakup she said she hates me and I took her back


bowen

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original post about problems with my relationship so this is an extension :

 

According to thread opinion and my opinion I thought the relationship wasn't going anywhere, So I told her it wasn't working but then she basically emotionally blackmailed me into staying with her by saying she hates me, her nightmares are getting worse because of me etc. I felt bad for her and still have lots of feeling so I took her back . The problem is I still unloved and like she doesn't treat me the same as before which leads to still the same arguments over and over again, and I feel even more anxious then before. I love her so much and wanted to work it out but every time I want to talk about something in the relationship she just shuts down and I can get nothing through. I'm losing feelings because I believe she doesn't treat me the same as before. One hand I want to move on citing that we are arguing and fighting a lot over big issues such as affection but on the other hand I know we are both good people on the inside but maybe we are just too incompatible. I don't want to regret letting her go, so I'm consumed by the decision whether to leave the relationship or not

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it's like trying to fit a square into a circle. This is a perfect squared and a perfect circle. You can keep bending at it and tearing it away but it will never fit unless one of them is ruined. Point is....you guys can be great people all on your own but in the wrong situation....you will only be bad and hurt and torn apart. If you dont work....you don't work. Dont force it.

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With crazy people it's better to do the slow fade method (also know as gray rock method-google it) of extricating yourself from a relationship so they don't resort to a psychotic meltdown and threats etc.

 

You simply become as busy as possible. Keep conversations dull and simple and very few words. Respond to texts very blandly. Talk about how you are just stressed or busy or not feeling well a lot. Simply slowly but surely fade out.

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News flash. You are not required to stay in a relationship until the two of you despise each other in order to leave.

Decent good people end relationships all the time due to incompatibility. It's actually the mature thing to do.

 

Leave on good and civil note and not wait until you have either beaten each other down or neglected on another.

 

This has run it's course. Wish her well and move on.

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You all make great points, thank you! I think I'm fearing regret of making a bad decision, I'm think this is the best decision but I have doubts and I already have regrets in my life I don't want this to be another one

 

Make a decision, close the door, stick to it, right or wrong and move forward. Regret is something that you reflect and learn from so as not to repeat it going forward. Regret is not something you should dwell on, that holds you back and paralyses you from making future decisions.

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