Help, I'm falling into a dark hole

[dilectio]

Hi, I'm currently in a rut. I'm dating a woman that has 2 jobs and barely has the time to see me. Her parents are very strict and don't want her to have a boyfriend. She is 21. I have been telling her that I can't be in a relationship where I only get to see my girlfriend once a month. I don't know what to do. we have been dating for 2 months and we always enjoy each others company. But we only saw each other twice a week because of classes. Now classes have ended and we will not have the same excuse to see each other. Last thing to happen was me telling her "I feel like I'm chasing you, When you want to see me and have the time let me know. See you then" to which she responded "Dam" after that I asked her what time she gets off of work so that I could stop by because we needed to talk and I have yet to hear back from her. Its been 16 hours and the message sounds as if I want to break up with her. Do I leave her alone and let her come to a decision or keep showing her that I care and will try everything to see her around her schedule and clarify that I'm not trying to end things with her. My drive to her is an hour and she usually gets off of work at midnight. She isn't much of a texter but we don't speak on the phone either, since she is always working I don't want to just call her and disturb her at her work. Should I wait until she is eventually available to speak about where our relationship is going? Should I keep trying to see/talk to her? I try not to bug her too much, I text her once or twice a day if she seems annoyed/upset/ or busy I stop, if she seems into it I continue. Am I coming off as needy for wanting to see her at least once a week?

[Lola2017]

First thing first: there s nothing wrong with wanting to see her once a week.

 

Then again, your text did sound a bit harsh, nd pressuring her to see you will not help. Maybe you should wait and see if she talks to you. If after a few days you dont hear from hear, then call.

 

But keep in mind that maybe a relationship with her will be messy because of her schedule.

[Wiseman2]

Unfortunately she lives at home and her parents forbid her to date. It's only been 2 mos and the whole situation sounds rather frustrating already. She sounds too busy and restricted to date.

 

She doesn't sound too interested in seeing you or simply can't date, so what's the point of a "relationship talk"?

I'm dating a woman that has 2 jobs and barely has the time to see me. Her parents are very strict and don't want her to have a boyfriend. She is 21. we have been dating for 2 months. Should I wait until she is eventually available to speak about where our relationship is going? I text her once or twice a day if she seems annoyed/upset/ or busy I stop

[hyden]

I have been telling her that I can't be in a relationship where I only get to see my girlfriend once a month. I don't know what to do.

 

I am confused that you dont know what to do. You said it right here...'you cant be in a relationship where I only get to see my girlfriend once a month'...so, whats the issue? Go find a relationship where that isnt an issue....

[dilectio]

I am confused that you dont know what to do. You said it right here...'you cant be in a relationship where I only get to see my girlfriend once a month'...so, whats the issue? Go find a relationship where that isnt an issue....

 

Unfortunately she lives at home and her parents forbid her to date. It's only been 2 mos and the whole situation sounds rather frustrating already. She sounds too busy and restricted to date.

 

She doesn't sound too interested in seeing you or simply can't date, so what's the point of a "relationship talk"?

 

Unfortunately these are both very good points I've thought about. I don't want to just 'give up' on the relationship until I know she isn't interested. I don't think her telling me she isn't interested is too much to ask for. I remember her telling me this is her first relationship and because of that I just think shes unsure of what shes doing. I will just give her space and not text her for a few days if she is interested she will come back to me, does that sound like a rational decision? I'm also fairly new to relationships I've only been involved in FWB situations so this is all overwhelming to me but believe we can and should both learn from this experience.

[hyden]

Unfortunately these are both very good points I've thought about. I don't want to just 'give up' on the relationship until I know she isn't interested. I don't think her telling me she isn't interested is too much to ask for. I remember her telling me this is her first relationship and because of that I just think shes unsure of what shes doing. I will just give her space and not text her for a few days if she is interested she will come back to me, does that sound like a rational decision? I'm also fairly new to relationships I've only been involved in FWB situations so this is all overwhelming to me but believe we can and should both learn from this experience.

 

You are choosing inaction, hoping that you will be given more evidence to drive you to action. Thats assuming even if you are given more evidence, you wont downplay it because inaction is the easiest path. She moved out. Thats a huge step...a huge choice. Good luck.