I Feel like a Failure. Can anyone please give me Some Advice?

[WhoCares01]

I feel like I can't speak up. I have anxiety(not like panic attacks) like anxiety whenever I do anything. I recently started jamming with this drummer, I'm 17 he is 39. I know that age difference is kinda big but I have had problems finding other musicians who like the same music that are my age. I have been playing guitar in this band. I also wanna sing in this band too, but it's like something (mentally) is blocking me. Tonight(5th practice the drummer and me had together) I said "Hey I'll try singing this time." Deep down, I'm so afraid of not being good enough, sounding horrible, making a mistake, not singing in the right key.

 

I was so afraid of him not wanting to be the drummer anymore, he said he likes how I play guitar but he's never heard me sing before. So, I sang. But I sing really low(very quiet). When we got done practicing the drummer told me, "Our next step is to find a bass player and a singer. Someone who will be heard over the band or you can do it."

 

I just said "Right yeah." See what I mean? I can never speak my mind, I want to sing the songs I wrote. I want to be the singer. I don't want someone else to. I want to be able to speak up. But something is mentally blocking me, what do I do? What would you say if you were me? How do I know if I'm actually good at singing, or if I'm right and I suck(like I said, deep down I feel like I'm horrible at alot of things).

[CurlyQSue]

you need to get some confidence! Grow up and get in there and put your foot down! No one will take you seriously if you don't speak your mind and if you just constantly go with what someone else wants. Plus....if you can't actually sing it loud enough to make it sound good then maybe someone else should do it? If you think you are capable of doing the best for the band and you can actually sing it....do it!! Your age doesn't matter when it comes to these things in life. If you know your ....then be about it. Get some advice from the band but also make sure you are giving it your all. If you are letting anything hold you back....you aren't going to be able to do it. Go get what you want!

[Wiseman2]

Excellent, just keep practicing and don't worry about how the band forms. You can offer to sing backup or harmony if the lead is not right for your voice.

[WhoCares01]

you need to get some confidence! Grow up and get in there and put your foot down! No one will take you seriously if you don't speak your mind and if you just constantly go with what someone else wants. Plus....if you can't actually sing it loud enough to make it sound good then maybe someone else should do it? If you think you are capable of doing the best for the band and you can actually sing it....do it!! Your age doesn't matter when it comes to these things in life. If you know your ....then be about it. Get some advice from the band but also make sure you are giving it your all. If you are letting anything hold you back....you aren't going to be able to do it. Go get what you want!

 

Thanks! I'm gonna work up the courage and do it next time!

[WhoCares01]

Excellent, just keep practicing and don't worry about how the band forms. You can offer to sing backup or harmony if the lead is not right for your voice.

 

Thanks. I'll practice on it more.

[lalalady]

I think it also stems from a fear of failure. But know that no one starts out perfect in their craft, and it is not failure if you are working hard at what you love - giving up is the only failure. Don't listen to people who tell you you suck or anything like that, only listen to the criticisms of the people you highly respect. You can tell when someone is putting you down to be malicious and when someone wants to help you get better. Just practice relentlessly and keep in the back of your mind where you want to see yourself as far as success in your musical career, and always keep that great idea of yourself and your future in your back pocket. Don't give up until you perfect that drum pattern, singing that high note - you won't always get it on the first try and it may take 10 - 20+ times to get it, but you can't give up!

 

Remember, the ONLY failure is giving up - and don't listen to naysayers - listen to your gut - you'll know when it's malicious and when people want to help you succeed.