No string attached escalate to relationship and now he broke up with me

[Raina99]

I started talking to this guy about 2 years ago. We are working in the same field so that is how we met. We started with just chatting and then after about 3 or 4 months he disappear. I thought he did not want to move further. So I let it go.

 

Then we met again in an event and we start to chat again afterwards. After 3 or 4 monts he told me that he liked me but he can't have serious relationship. He is just not ready. So we agreed on having a no string attached relationship. At first, it was not much different than before we agree to do this no string attached thingy. We meet only once in 3 months. We chatted mostly.

 

But as time goes by, we start to become more and more close. We chat more frequently, we had countless meals together, we spent the nights at each other places. Sometimes several nights in a row. We also had sex.

We take care of each other when one of us is sick and we know each other calendars. We both are busy with our work and we both travel a lot due to work. We did not travel together though. Only once or twice we travel together because I join him. And it was because he asked me to. We hold hands in public and people starts to know we are seeing each other. He also introduce me to his friends. He gave me birthday present and he took me to nice dinner to celebrate.

 

Suddenly when things are good. He told me that he would like to stop what we are doing. He has been thinking about us and it would be easier to just end this. He said we are attached. He said he is not ready and he would like to be alone. He does not want this to end ugly so he just prefer this to end. And focus on his work.

 

I am confused why he stop this. I am hurt. Will he come back when he feel he is ready? He prevent us to become ugly so he can come back?

Does this mean that he is just not ready?

I never pressure him to be commited and attached to me because I believe it will happen if it is meant to happen. Which it did obviously.

He said he wants us to go back to not attached to each other. But we can still talk. I told him that we can talk but I need to sort out my feelings first.

We still talk now but stricly only about work. And the conversation was very short.

I just feel that I start to love him and I believe he is the one. I do not mind to wait and I do not want to go anywhere either. He is the one that I want.

 

Please help me to understand from third person point of view and if you have any suggestion please do as well

[greta96]

I am sorry you are experiencing this heartbreak, it's always so hard when things are going well only to have rug pulled from underneath you when you least expect it. The only reason I can think of for the breakup is that he really doesn't want to be in a relationship for reasons only he knows, which he was honest about from the very beginning. This is why I usually say "when someone tells you they don't want a relationship, believe them because that's the most honest they'll ever be".

He probably got uncomfortable when the relationship started turning more serious, and ended it because he knew he wasn't going to be able to go on.

I really don't know if you two will get back together or not, but I don't think you should be waiting for him and putting your own life on hold in the meantime. Live your life as if it's over for good, and if later on he has a change of heart and wants to try again, you can give him another chance IF you're still available and willing. But waiting for this to happen would be a mistake and a waste of time, because he may never want to commit to anyone, or he may want to commit to someone else. Never wait around for anyone to make up their minds about being with you!

[nutbrownhare]

Some people are just not able to have intimate relationships, because of early experiences and their decisions about the way life is. Don't wait around for someone like this. Even if you did get back with him, it would only be a matter of time before the pulling away started over again.

 

You may find this interesting: [url="

[Wiseman2]

Unfortunately all he ever wanted was nsa perhaps in the form of fwb but when he sensed attachment he needed to back out.

 

He was honest from the beginning that he doesn't want a relationship. Does he has a wife/gf elsewhere?

he told me that he liked me but he can't have serious relationship. He is just not ready. So we agreed on having a no string attached relationship. He has been thinking about us and it would be easier to just end this. He said we are attached. He said he is not ready and he would like to be alone.

[Doc Blaze]

From personal experience, and from stories on here, I believe when people say things like this "After 3 or 4 monts he told me that he liked me but he can't have serious relationship. He is just not ready. So we agreed on having a no string attached relationship."

 

 

The majority of the time if you have feelings and go through with this setup, its going to end badly meaning broken heart. Its a setup. Maybe not purposely but look now, he has been honest with you and now he can say well I told you I didn't want anything serious. I know its hard for some people to say no when you like someone but I believe you should make things clear, not get into that kind of situation, or treat it as it is which is not a relationship. When you went to the no strings attached setup you were putting yourself in a very hard situation get out of. I rarely see FWB or no strings attached type situations truly turning into relationships.

 

 

Balls out of your court, I don't believe you should wait.