She is marrying someone else ...

[TheLoser]

This is the second topic that I wanted to talk about. So ...

 

So, me and person "X" were friends with benifits for a very short time, then "X" decided to get along with "Y", who was my "friend" at the time. Then I've met "Z", we went out few times, and after that, "X" and "Y" broke up, and "Y" decided to test message "Z", just to get revenge on me and "X".

 

I hope U got the story. ^^

 

Long story about "Z"-person:

 

We went out few times, sometimes we texted for like 4-5 hours a day, our longest date was like 5 hours long, and I'm not really a good speaker, so that date was pure miracle. She kinda dated me and "Y" at the same time. I knew she was selfish. Then I decided that I don't want to be friends with her anymore. After 6 months of not-being-her-friend, we started to talk about medications in psychiatry.. 'couse we both seeing therapist. Then we were friends for a very short time, 'couse her boyfriend didn't want us to be friends.. We didn't talk for like ~2 and half years now. I loved her for like ~4 years. About 6 months ago I saw her in town here I go to therapy. I never felt this way before .. I felt like I was having a heart-attack, my legs were cut off. I went out of the subway train and I run to her, just to talk to her, ... and she just disappear. 2 weeks ago our mutual friend told me that she is marrying him. I just don't get it.. how can she be with person who is using her just for sex, ... his only goal is to have kids some day, and he is just looking for person who will carry those kids, he really doesn't care about her. And the best part: she knows that. She cried a lot and told that to our mutual friend. But she is still marrying him. -.- Our mutual friend kinda wanted to get us together, but I refused to. She is really selfish, and she wants us both in our lives so both of us can be happy.. which is not possible. Before me and her broke up our friendship I told her: "Some day you will find out who he really is, and when that day comes don't come to my door in tears, and that day will come.. be sure.". And it came, she texted me in tears saying I was right. But still she didn't broke up with him. I just don't get it: how can people be with someone who is just using them for sex? Are people really afraid of changes?

 

The 1 000 000 $ question, how do I feel?

I really don't know. -.- I don't want to see her for my entire life. I don't want to see her or hear her. I miss the person who she was, but she changed a lot 'couse of him. I feel sorry for myself, 'couse she destroyed something that I have now with someone else. I never felt so close with someone my entire life as I was close with "Z"-person. "Z"-person knew how to pull the words out of me, she knew to tell me some things which I needed the most in that moment. We had like magical connection.. something on higher level, which I don't have with anyone else, and I probably never will. I really miss that.

 

I don't know ... I miss the real her, the person who she was with me before she met "Y", I miss someone who knew how to pull everything from me ...

 

I know that she doesn't deserve me. I don't want to get back with her, 'couse she didn't deserved it.

 

I really don't need advices about us getting back together, I just want advices about moving on ..

[gebaird]

She may be making a mistake by marrying him, but it's her mistake to make. Who can say why she's making that choice? Human's don't always behave rationally.

 

It sounds like you are still feeling a lot of strong emotions surrounding this situation. No contact would help you heal (she may try to reach out to you even after she is married, and it would only complicate things). You're doing the right thing by continuing to go to therapy. Hopefully it will help you release any lingering resentment and reach a place of forgiveness and peace.

[TheLoser]

I really don't care about them. I just feel down when the wrong people get more luck then me. I know that I'm better than both of them. I'm confused 'couse I've never been so close with anyone, as I was with Z-person. I'm sorry Z being that person, it's like I wasted a gift for someone wrong. I know that my current sympathy deserved that I love her.. I love her, more then she knows, but I will never love her like I loved Z-person. I know that my current sympathy deserves all the best, and I'm not sure if I can give that to her. Current sympathy is very special person, more special than Z-person.

[Wiseman2]

It usually stings a bit when an ex gets married, even if you've moved on. If he's marrying her it sounds like he's not 'just using her for sex' anymore. Agree that cutting her out completely from your mind is the best approach.

2 weeks ago our mutual friend told me that she is marrying him. I just don't get it.. how can she be with person who is using her just for sex