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Meeting up for quick exchange of belongings.Should I say what's eating me up?

charneca

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charneca Rookie

charneca

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After 3 months since our breakup we are meeting up in a few days for some belongings exchanging. You might ask, why only now?

He kept forgetting to send me my computer through a common friend and I have something of his. As I'm tired of intermediaries, I decided to arrange a meeting.

 

A brief(I hope) intro to our relationship: we were together for 10 years, we broke up once this April because he felt different, we got back together in May and we brokeup (or I did) this September because he said he was into another girl. Neverthless, he still wanted to work things out. I told him I couldn't be with someone who wasn't a 100% into me.

Later, I find out through common friends he was chasing a girl later past year and also met up with this latest girl he was into behind my back(He went to dinner with her). So ultimately chasing two girls behind my back.

 

My ego is still extremely bruised of the disrespect he has thrown at me. Last time we talked which was one week after the breakup and I only knew he went chasing the first girl,he denied all of it.He said he didn't chase her and didn't cheat(which I'm still hoping it's true) because it was something that happened in a previous relationship and he didn't enjoy it.

 

I want to tell him how disrespectful he was to me and to our relationship. I want to ask him how could he go behind my back and betray my trust on top of all this years. I want to tell him the person I met those years ago, wouldn't have done this to me.

He said he would never do anything to hurt me but he had a choice. I'd like to tell him to own up to his actions and stop playing the victim.

 

I'm afraid he plays the arrogant and victim card on me and I lose my temper. How should I handle if he does those things?

Should I even bother to say to him what I've written above?This's somethings that's been eating me up for quite some time.

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Wiseman2 Grand Master

Wiseman2

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No no no. This is to wrap things up and sever any final ties. It's not to perform a postmortem on the relationship, negotiate anything or spill your guts out. Your ending it is saying all that needs to be said.

 

Keep your dignity and self respect and don't show up like a scorned wounded woman looking to give him another piece of your mind. you'll make a fool of yourself while feeding his ego that you can't get over him.

 

Bring a friend. Be on time. Have somewhere to go afterward so you can get in and out and say 'gotta go'. Collect your things, give him his say Thank you and happy Christmas and drive off with your friend.

After 3 months since our breakup we are meeting up in a few days for some belongings exchanging. I want to tell him how disrespectful he was to me and to our relationship. I want to ask him how could he go behind my back and betray my trust on top of all this years. I want to tell him the person I met those years ago, wouldn't have done this to me.
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charneca Rookie

charneca

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Another thing I forgot to add was that I had one misstep during this time.Early this month I broke down and told our common friend that if he wanted to tell me something he could contact me. When we broke up my friend made him promise him that he wouldn't contact me unless I wanted him to. I know he wanted to contact me many times, as she told me that. When finally I give in and let him contact me he tells her that he has to think about what he was going to say to me and what he wanted. This was December 8th, until now radio silence from him, except to answer to my request for the exchange of belongings.

 

I know that I won't say this to him as it probably is best, but I have to vent. All this time wanting to contact me and next thing he wants to think?Again, another opportunity I gave him to just be discarded!I guess silence speaks for itself.He's he playing games?Once it sunk in(which was 4 or 5 days later) I got so mad at him for 'toying' with me, and at myself for this 'slip' that I removed him from facebook. Not that I ever looked at his profile or anything. Quite the opposite, I was afraid to look at it. But removing him was something I should have done right in the beginning.

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charneca Rookie

charneca

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You will look pathetic and scorned. Go with Wiseman's advice.

 

If he were sorry, do you think he would have cheated on you TWICE?

 

Be done with this clown.

 

 

Can this be considered cheating even though he pursued them but didn't physically do anything?I know for a fact that both girls weren't interested in him so, there was no 'cheating' by definition.Although if we go into emotional cheating that is another story..

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Hollyj Grand Master

Hollyj

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Can this be considered cheating even though he pursued them but didn't physically do anything?I know for a fact that both girls weren't interested in him so, there was no 'cheating' by definition.Although if we go into emotional cheating that is another story..

 

Of course. Emotional cheating is just as bad. Would he have done these things in front of you? Of course not, as it was cheating.

 

Stop with the excuses and denial.

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