Is he interested or just being friendly?

[Sam8231]

I started a new job a couple weeks ago, and I hit it off with a male coworker. Our conversations flow pretty well and we talk about a lot of personal stuff. There has also been some obvious flirting from the both of us (although that has died down a bit), and I've caught him checking me out several times. The other day, he got me a card for my birthday and it said that he's really enjoyed getting to know me, have a nice bday and Christmas, etc. He hasn't asked me out (I have no idea whether he's actually single), so I'm not waiting around and let this guy I met recently take me to lunch. My coworker knew I was going out for lunch and kept trying to get me to spill my plans, but I tried to keep it vague because it felt too awkward to tell him I was going out with some guy. A part of my thinks my coworker may be interested, but I also don't know if all these things are just him being nice. I've been wrong in the past about men, so I don't know if it's also me just reading into things too much. How can I tell for sure whether he is or not?

[JaggerJim]

Are you sure your interested? Why are you going out with the other guy?

[Wiseman2]

It sounds like he's a friendly coworker. Maybe he has a gf, maybe he doesn't date coworkers. In any case you are better off pursuing things with lunch guy, at least you know he's single and interested and...you don't work together.

 

Starting a new job and going after the guys in the office isn't a good way to make your entrance after 2wks on the job. A workplace is not a dating site or a singles bar..

I started a new job a couple weeks ago, and I hit it off with a male coworker. this guy I met recently take me to lunch.

[Sam8231]

Are you sure your interested? Why are you going out with the other guy?

 

I am. This other guy seemed pretty cool, so I accepted the invitation. I didn't want to say no thinking my coworker is interested because I can't tell if he is.

[JaggerJim]

It sounds like he's a friendly coworker. Maybe he has a gf, maybe he doesn't date coworkers. In any case you are better off pursuing things with lunch guy, at least you know he's single and interested and...you don't work together.

 

Starting a new job and going after the guys in the office isn't a good way to make your entrance after 2wks on the job. A workplace is not a dating site or a singles bar..

 

I agree. Jobs are for working and not trying to pick up men.

[ParisPaulette]

Oh, I've dated coworkers before and it backfired big time.

 

Regardless if he's single or not, you don't want to get involved with a coworker. It's distracting when you're supposed to be working and the fall out when you break up or one of you does something the other doesn't like is just ugly, ugly, ugly.

 

Go out with guys you don't work with, hold your coworkers at a respectable arms distance "we're professionals, not besties" routine and you'll do fine in avoiding the absolute ship that dating a coworker can bring.

[JaggerJim]

Oh, I've dated coworkers before and it backfired big time.

 

Regardless if he's single or not, you don't want to get involved with a coworker. It's distracting when you're supposed to be working and the fall out when you break up or one of you does something the other doesn't like is just ugly, ugly, ugly.

 

Go out with guys you don't work with, hold your coworkers at a respectable arms distance "we're professionals, not besties" routine and you'll do fine in avoiding the absolute ship that dating a coworker can bring.

 

Agreed. Work space is not a club or a dating site.