I need unbiased advice.

[Elswyn]

I don't know where to go from here. I need unbiased advice. I guess I'll start from the beginning:

My boyfriend and I have been together for about 6 years. It started as a just having some fun in bed.

 

I have some health and self esteem issues so my libido isn't what it used to be. We haven't been having sex much for awhile. We seem to have arguments every week about stupid stuff. We are both stubborn.

 

A few years ago, I found out he cheated on me and we broke up for about 6 months. We got back together. Well a couple nights ago I found a text message he sent to one of his buddies saying "look what I got into last night" and it was a picture of some chick. He claims that he lied to his friend to make him "seem like a big man" because his friend was having more sex than he was. I want to believe him but now I can't trust him. Initially, he was dared of losing me. He also threatened to commit suicide if I broke up with him because he "doesn't have anything else going for him (which is a red flag for me too). Now he's mad at me and thinks I am overreacting because he didn't do anything. He thinks it's my fault because our sex life sucks. I can't trust him now and my heart literally hurts. He doesn't take it seriously and pouts when I don't cuddle with him. I don't know what to think. I feel like I can't break it off because of what he said and I don't know if I want to. Do I love him? Am I with him because I don't want to be alone? Am I still in this because it's comfortable? Do I need to be single to better myself? Do I need to stay because I love him? Do we simply just take a break?

I'm just so lost.

[BeenThereB4]

Dump him immediately. He is not worth it. He cheated on you. I was in a relationship where I got cheated on. We weren't official, but we had engaged in sexual intercourse. I was never able to get over it, and he proved himself to be a real jerk. The majority of guys will not cheat on you, even when you have not officially announced yourselves. Let alone, once you are commited. He can easily be replaced with a loyal person. You are better than this. Dump him and don't look back!

 

Guys do not need to prove themselves to each other by the amount of conquests that they have. This is just something that cheaters use to try to justify their actions.

 

Manipulative people sometimes try to

threaten suicide in a last ditch effort to control the object of their abuse. Pay him no mind in this matter.

[melancholy123]

I wouldn't for a minute believe he didnt have sex with some girl. I would dump him too, and not look back. He's trying to blame you for what's wrong in your relationship. You can do better. You should be on your own for a period of time to figure yourself out and make a fresh start. There's lots of good guys out there who wouldn't treat you like he does.

[Scoe141]

I agree with the above posters. Dump him. Yesterday. I know it may be easier said than done, but looking back on past relationships I wish I had listened to the advice given on here sooner.

 

There is no excuse for what he did. You don't need his infidelity or lack of support in your life. If you're going through some health issues that affect your libido, he should stand by and support you. No matter what.

 

Ditch this clown. You don't need this circus.

[Elswyn]

Thank you all for the advice.