He needs a break

[Selvia]

Me and myboyfriend have been dating for a year, we were very close and happy, never fighting or anything. Two months ago he got some problems related to his business and it left him abit lost about his future and career. He changed all of a sudden, he became a total different person, not seeing me, or even calling we fight every day and he hurt me a lot and i was trying to support because i know what has been through. A week ago was our anniversaary, he didnt get me a gift or took me out as planned ( normally he used to surprise me and take me for a date every month) after that anniversary day he called me and told me that hes been acting weird in the last month and he doesnt like hurting me all the time because i dont deserve this. So he needs a break to figure things out and to see another career option. I refused because i know a break means a decent break up, but he told me its just a break because im treating u bad, but i dont know when i will be ready for this again.

I dont know what does that mean, my friends are telling me that he is making up execuses for dumping you, so i shouldnt be waiting for him. Since this happened he disappeard and i dont know what should i do. Shpuld i wait for him? If yes for how long. Should i show support and ask about him?? Or i just disappear?

[BeenThereB4]

Don't wait for him. Your friends are right. Also, a year is a short time. He probably figured out he doesn't want a long term relationship with you. This is what the first year of dating is for, to establish compatibility. Move on and find a new guy. It will be easier than you realize.

[Scoe141]

I hate to say it, but it sounds like the relationship has run it's course, at least in his mind.

 

He could be using the job as an excuse. Either way, you don't need to be strung along. I'd move on and begin to heal.

 

Sorry you're feeling this way.

 

Good luck.

[No1]

how about you DONT wait for him, and Ill tell you why.

 

Because he is going to go out there and live his life while you put yours on hold. He is now technically free to date and have sex with other women and if/when he decides to come back, he can say he never cheated on you. He can have all the fun in the world while you wait.

 

Now, Im not saying that is what his going to do or say, but what Im saying is that you should not put your life on hold. What you do is move forward with her life. Im not saying go out and find another guy next week, but if someone catches your eye and says hi to you and asks you out, then why not? This guy who is having tough times said things to you that sound like "Im letting you down easy and Ill be the bad guy" sayings. Its what I would say to you if I wanted to let you down easy. "youre beautiful and I love you and I dont want to lose you, but I dont want to hurt you and you deserve better than me. I cant provide you with what you need right now. Im stressed out with work and life is just so crazy right now and you dont deserve to be a part of it... lets take a break so I can gather my life back together" I dont even own a business but that speech is about what I would say to you.

 

He knows how to get a hold of you, he knows how to find you. If he wants back into your life then you make him earn it, you make him work his butt off for you because he let you go and he has to show that he truly wants you in his life. Dont worry about making it hard on him, if he wants you back, he will crawl to the ends of the Earth for you. If he doesnt, he wont even walk to the end of the street for you.

 

So in short.. what you do is move on with your life and place yourself in a place in life that if he wants to come back. You have the power to choose if you need him or want him in your life or not.