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What is my ex doing?!


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Ok, so lets start from the beginning..


I'm 16 years old and from February 2015 I had a crush on this guy (lets call him Jordan). I don't know why but I was always attracted to him, spoke about him and liked him even when I was in my previous on again off again relationship. In November 2015, one of my friends told Jordan I liked him but it wasn't till February 2016 that we started dating.


I met him properly at a party, and we automatically clicked. We was so similar.. It was an amazing feeling and I fell in love with him. I know he loved me too. The way he would treat me and he'd always say it. We'd meet everyday after school and every weekend. We'd facetime or call or text eachother every night. We'd go out on the weekends and go to the cinema, park, parties, you name it. We was inseparable.


I met his mum after 4 months of being in a relationship and they made me feel apart of the family. It was perfect..


Around the end may till June time I got into some serious trouble with my mum (nothing to do with Jordan) and I was grounded with no way of contacting him. During that time he got into some trouble too which resulted in him being kicked out of his mums and the police got involved.


When I was aloud back out he told me about how he has to live with his dad and he said to me "If you didn't get grounded I would've been with you and none of this would've happened" He made me feel so guilty but after that everything started to fall apart


He became distant, didn't really talk much on text, and he began treating me like one of his boys. In July I had a huge argument with his bestfriend and him over a guy who I wasn't interested in and we broke up.


I was broken, I literally lost myself. I cried everyday, didn't eat or sleep. Mid July early August I bumped into him with my cousin and he pulled me to the side and said he didnt want it to be awkward between us he wanted me to be his friend and be in his life. I agreed but whenever I would bump into him he'd be very friendly.. Like we was still together.


At my cousins BBQ in August we went off and we spoke properly for the first time in what felt like years and I loved it. It was like the old him was back. He kissed me that day as well and told me to "Wait for him" but then the same night and for the rest of that week he didn't speak to me on text. I felt like rubbish. I felt used.


Towards the end of August I went to a party and he was there. It was like when we first met. We was dancing and just vibing together. When i left the party he was outside and followed me to the bus stop and said he loved me still and missed me and he kissed me. I was so happy. The day after we went out for a meal and it was like old times. The day after he came over and it was all good, we had fun until I went on his phone and found out that he was with another girl 5days ago. When i spoke to the girl she told me how they met and kissed and he said he liked her. I was angry but he promised me it wasn't like that. He said he was just seeing her but he always knew I was the one for him so he cut her off.


We was good for about a month and a bit, the his friend called me and said how hes gonna break up with me and he did. He said he was bored and how he didnt want a girlfriend but he loved me and wouldnt get with anyone else. Yet again, I was heart broken.


A couple of weeks later he texted me asking where I was and saying he wanted to meet me. I went and he told me how he loved me and missed me and said "your still mine even if you get with another guy". Then he disappeared again after that. He then texted me again saying how he was coming over. He came and when he left I didnt hear from him for another couple of weeks. Each time i would see him I asked him why he dips in and out of my life and he said he doesnt mean to he didnt realise he was doing it. He said he doesn't want a relationship right now cause hes 'making money' and hes got GCSE's but claims he still cares about me.


Recently, he occassionally texts me and the last time I met him it was good which was last week. But since last sunday he never spoke to me. It was like he disappeared off social media. On my snapchat I put up a video of a guy and he saw it. Todays his birthday. I said happy birthday to him and he hasn't opened the message but he's viewed my story. I dont know if its cause he saw the other guy on my story but if hes upset about that I dont understand why..


I just want to know is it worth sticking around and waiting for this boy, whats going on in his head and why does he come in and out of my life. All my friends want me to drop him but the love I feel for this boy is so strong. What do I do?!

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Jordan is unstable and unable to be the consistent boyfriend you want him to be. The story you told here makes me think he may have a personality disorder or at least be functioning very low on the spectrum of psychological health. Blaming you for what happened to him while you were grounded is a MAJOR red flag. Telling you that you are still his even if you get with another guy is SUPER CREEPY.


I know you love him and want to be with him, but this relationship is toxic. Please don't just dismiss my words as the random rantings of a stranger. Please don't think that things will get better. They won't. I've seen this pattern so many times before. If you keep him in your life, you'll keep getting hurt. It's that simple.


Your friends are right. Please listen to them and delete this guy from your life -- it's essential for your own mental health and emotional development. You may not be able to see that right now, but you will in time. Even if you aren't ready to follow this advice right now, I hope you will remember it in a future moment of clarity and, for your own sake, find the strength to get yourself out of a bad situation.

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