Can't get over ex

[Junglefever190]

It's been 18 months since my ex dumped me and I am not over it . He was emotionally unavailable and treated me like dirt during the relationship . My self esteem took a serious hit during the relationship, I feel like I havn't recovered. He told me I was lazy , expected too much my exes never loved me, he didn't love me, left me out etc.. He lied , messaged other woman and blamed me for everything. My friend at the time told me I looked terrible , I was so anxious I had a brain scan (MRI) while he went to a party.

 

I'm struggling to forget what he said and overcome my anger . This is a pattern for him (treating women badly ) and he gets away with it every time . I have so much regret and he feels nothing. I tried my absolute best with him and he made me feel like a terrible person .

 

Is there any way I can forget this ? It's been a long time and I need to get obe it .Anyone been through similar ?

[gebaird]

I'm so sorry. What an awful situation. It sounds like he left you pretty scarred.

 

Don't blame yourself for feeling this way. Even the most emotionally healthy person would struggle in a situation like this. You will be okay once you get the toxic ideas he planted out of your brain. On a conscious level, you may know that many of the things he said about you are simply untrue. Most likely he was simply projecting his own faults onto you, but subconsciously you may be wondering if he was right.

 

Are you still in contact with him? Connected through social media or through mutual friends? If so, block him and ask your friends not to talk about him. Focus on yourself, not him. What he feels and how he treats other people do not matter in this scenario. This is about your recovery, not his.

 

While the passage of time can aid healing, it's what we DO during that time that matters most. Being in an abusive relationship takes a toll, but the damage can be reversed. It's usually a process that involves a variety of approaches: therapy, self-help, spiritual practices such as yoga or meditation, positive human connection and self-care are on my short list of things that are most helpful when I'm recovering from a trauma or rejection. Your list may be different, but the point is to keep trying new things until you find the right combination.

[Wiseman2]

Many many people have been in abusive relationships. That's why there is so much valuable info and help.

 

Research "abusive relationships", "Cycle of violence" and call a domestic violence hotline to speak to a counselor about getting free counseling and learn about resources.

 

Also continue to see your doctors and get a referral for therapy to help you heal.

treated me like dirt during the relationship . My self esteem took a serious hit during the relationship, I feel like I havn't recovered. He told me I was lazy , He lied , messaged other woman and blamed me for everything.