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Mixed signals


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First time, long time.


My girlfriend just broke up with me after 6 months.

The first 4 months were perfect. Everything was going great, and we were so in love (she told me she loved me first) and we told each other all the time.

We would be at each others places all the time, and had gone on a number of small trips for holidays as well as a friends wedding.

We had met each others friends and families and I had never been in a relationship where everything went so smoothly and easily.


Then, all of a sudden like a switch had been flicked, she seemed withdrawn. I could tell in the way she was replying to messages, and the amount of contact she initiated was dwindling.

She asked about our sex life and if I were happy with it, and I said yes ( It had slowed down after the first few months but was still quite active). This question was a bit out of the blue.

I was quite stessed for a few weeks worrying about our relationship and then she came around a few weeks ago and broke up with me.

She told me that I was incredible, the perfect guy and was crying as she did so, telling me most guys aren't worth crying over.

When I asked why she told me something was missing inside her. I couldn't believe that something was missing when it was so perfect for the most part. She told me I only deserve the best. (She had been put on medication for depression for a totally unrelated reason at around the same time things started to change)


She left and I had so many questions.

We caught up after 2 weeks just to chat and I still got no resolution during that meeting.

A few hours later I got a text telling me she was still in love with her ex of 3 years after splitting from early last year.

She told me she did love me but couldn't give herself to me fully and that I deserve the best and she is in a yuck mess. And that she couldn't tell me in person because she was a coward.


I realise it's over but I'm having a really tough time moving forward. It was the perfect relationship for so long, and I can't help but think that I did/didn't do something to make her change her mind. Surely she knew she still loved him the whole time.

It just sucks because from day 1 I thought this girl was my future.


Thanks, I just needed to put this out there to see what people think.

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I think this is a classic case of what happens when people who battle things like depression try to be in relationships. Sure many can do it successfully, but usually its with a lot of help and constant therapy. Often times, they are just unfairly, and unintentionally, setting someone else up to be hurt.

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She was adamant that it had nothing to do with the depression.

The only other thing that changed was that she had a girlfriend of hers move in to her place and we went from having it to ourselves to having to share it. It was no biggie, but I can't help but feel it had some effect.

I just don't see how things changed so quick.

That's life I guess, and as much as I'm sick of all my friends telling me time will make it better, I just now feel that I will be in the same situation as she told me she is in... and that's in love with an ex that doesn't love me back.


I've gone no contact since we met last week so I'll just leave it at that. It'll be hard not to say happy holidays and merry Xmas though...

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