some advice please

[semsem]

So after dating for over five weeks we talked and decided to make things official and start calling ourselves boyfriend and girlfriend and it made me so happy for the next day. It truly was what I thought was going to be the best first day as a new official couple. We work together and It's not like we see each other there all day. We can litteritly go the whole work day and not see each other because our jobs are so completly different and on other sides of the building (but we did make time to see each other on our breaks for 15 minutes and we both said its the best part of out day). But anyways. The morning went great we talked for about five minutes and then went to our work. I was thinking wow this is going to be the best day ever. The normal afternoon hangout didnt happen. I always look forward to her visits. Today she didnt stop by once. She did come to my door I could hear her talking and she droped what sounded like her keys but instead of coming in I heard her just walk off and go through another door. After our morning talk I litteritly felt like she was going out of her way to avoid me. Normally she would walk by and say hi or wave as she passed. but now complete avoidance.

 

So more about when we had our talk and decided to make things official I asked if we could be together more and she agreed that we should and then told me that she had planned to do something Saturday and that her mother asked her to ask me if I would go but she said that I wouldnt want to and practicly univited me without even asking me. I know things are still new but I want to know her and this would of been a awesome opertunity for us to progress.

 

So Thursday night we talked made it official and Friday was the first day and I truly thought it was going to be my best day ever. I thought I'd ask her to celebrate and go out for the night with me but nope. She had plans to go to dinner with her sister and her sisters husband. I had to hear this from hear telling someone else as I got to the time clock to clock out. Another gut punch. They do this two three times a week and Ive never been invited but today I thought its our first offical day and you cant invite me to come with or tell them you want to be with me for the instead. I asked her how her day was going and didnt get a real answer Being we work together kisssing and hugging in building isnt allowed. So its cold as outside and I walk cause I live so close and she had brought me home befor and I thought maybe she's just been busy and maybe she'd offer to take me home and we could talk. She looked at me I looked at her and smiled then another worker came by and asked me if I was walking home I looked at her again she didnt look back so I said I guess so. So i put my coat on and started for the door. Then she says I will text you saturday when I get back.

 

Sorry everyone for the long post I'm just confused. I'm sad and angry on the verge of tears. I truly like this girl and I don't know where things went wrong or if they even did. Should I tell her how I feal about this situation. She's the first real girlfriend I've ever had and I don't unsterstand If this is normal or I did something wrong.

[abitbroken]

Maybe due to work dating policies, she is trying to not overdue it with you at work. You said yourself you can go the whole day without seeing her because of your different jobs. I think you need to be lowkey and not think that because you are official, that she is going to spend lots of time at work with you. This needs to be on the downlow. 5 weeks of dating is not long. Its just a few dates. You basically agreed to date exclusively. Its not "next stop/wedding bells". I think you are listening way too much to hear what she is doing through the grapevine and need to focus on work

 

 

They do this two three times a week and Ive never been invited but today I thought its our first offical day and you cant invite me to come with or tell them you want to be with me for the instead.

 

Doesn't mean that the floodgates are open and you are all the sudden invited to everything she does. If she meets up with her sister and sister's husband it doesn't mean you are invited. You have to sllooow down. Ask her on dates. You are dating her. You aren't instantly her boyfriend of 5 years. Let her intro you to family gradually. Maybe she wants time with her family.

[Wiseman2]

Agree, very confusing. There seems to be way too much focus on titles and next steps and not enough on the relationship itself.

 

You should be planning more time together and is doesn't have to be with her family or conflict with any schedules.

 

Just relax and plan time together that works for you and forget about the titles and meeting family etc.

 

5 weeks is way too soon to rush all this and suffocate her with new "official" duties and expectations..

 

It's weird she's your "official gf" but won't give you a lift home and let you walk home from work in the cold..

So after dating for over five weeks we talked and decided to make things official and start calling ourselves boyfriend and girlfriend I thought maybe she's just been busy and maybe she'd offer to take me home and we could talk. She looked at me I looked at her and smiled then another worker came by and asked me if I was walking home I looked at her again she didnt look back so I said I guess so. So i put my coat on and started for the door. Then she says I will text you saturday when I get back.

[abitbroken]

Agree, very confusing. There seems to be way too much focus on titles and next steps and not enough on the relationship itself.

 

You should be planning more time together and is doesn't have to be with her family or conflict with any schedules.

 

Just relax and plan time together that works for you and forget about the titles and meeting family etc.

 

5 weeks is way too soon to rush all this and suffocate her with new "official" duties and expectations..

 

It's weird she's your "official gf" but won't give you a lift home and let you walk home from work in the cold..

 

Well...

 

She looked at me I looked at her and smiled then another worker came by and asked me if I was walking home I looked at her again she didnt look back so I said I guess so. So i put my coat on and started for the door.

 

He didn't actually follow her out to the car automatically or ask her for a lift. He could have said when the coworker asked if he was walking home "I usually catch a ride with XX. How about it?" If he looked at her with awkward silence, maybe the girlfriend was waiting for his answer as well and when he said he was walking home - she thought "whatever". He needs to be natural and he needs to state what he wants or needs.