She said happy birthday after several months of no contact

[johnnystern]

This girl who I was casually dating and really liked (over the course of a few/several months) went cold on me towards the end when I acted like a weak,needy, beta-male. I definitely wasn't acting masculine and confident like how a man should act. I could feel her slipping away so I pursued more and made a bigger and bigger fool out of myself. After 2 months of chasing her after I noticed her slipping away, she dropped the bomb and essentially flatout dumped me. I panicked and my anxiety-stricken behavior drove me to say to her (through texting) something along the lines of, "You need to let me talk to you... No you need to let me come over and talk to you." Something demanding like that. She said "yes we're close with eachother but dont tell me what to do, that'll just push me away more." I reached out once more after that conversation and then cut contact for good after I found Coach Corey Waynes youtube videos. It became so clear to me everything I did wrong and how weak and beta I was coming off. Fast-foward six months later (a couple days ago) she wrote happy birthday on my facebook wall that morning. The silence between us was broken after 6 months of no contact. Her birthday was a few months ago and I had the courage not to break no contact by reaching out. I knew that she dumped me so there was no way that I was going to initate contact first, even if it was her birthday. I never said it to her. Which made me think it would be even less likely that she would say happy birthday to me on my birthday a few months later. But she did.

 

I do want a chance to reconcile with her, this no contact hasn't made me "move on" from her at all. Sure I got to reflect on what went wrong, but I still want to see her again. That hasnt gone away.

 

How do I take this happy birthday message? Is it simply dumpers remorse or trying to remain friendly? If it's dumpers remorse, why wouldnt she have just reached out to me sometime within these last six months for some kind of small-talk or "I never wanted to hurt you" or something like that? Why wait for my birthday as if she had it marked on her calendar that this was the day that she was going to alleviate her guilt?

 

Or, was she doing this to reopen communication with me? Does she have a change of heart after several months of no contact? Corey Wayne has a video called "Authentic Reattraction vs Maniuplation" where a guy had a very similiar situation to me. She dumped him, he chased for 2 months, let it go, several months later she tells him happy birthday.

 

What are your thoughts on her intentions?

[Edmund Exley]

Its nothing but Happy Birthday. Thats Facebook. She probably didnt even know it was your birthday without it.

 

Don't fall for reattraction videos and advice. They are nothing more than scams to take advantage of the love lorn.

[Edmund Exley]

Let me give you some more advice. Lose all the advice you've obviously read about how you weren't being a man's man, etc etc.

 

Try just being yourself always. Chicks can smell fake a mile away.

[Zaphod]

It's probably her phone flagging up your birthday from her calendar and then she thinks she can't not do it, as it's your birthday etc. etc. so ends up sending you some lame happy birthday message.

 

Just say "Cheers" and leave it at that. I'm sure we've all been there. I know I have.

[Edmund Exley]

It's probably her phone flagging up your birthday from her calendar and then she thinks she can't not do it, as it's your birthday etc. etc. so ends up sending you some lame happy birthday message.

 

Just say "Cheers" and leave it at that. I'm sure we've all been there. I know I have.

 

I havent. I cut dead wood loose.

[Zaphod]

I havent. I cut dead wood loose.

 

Who's a grumpy birthday boy then?

 

 

[johnnystern]

It's probably her phone flagging up your birthday from her calendar and then she thinks she can't not do it, as it's your birthday etc. etc. so ends up sending you some lame happy birthday message.

 

Just say "Cheers" and leave it at that. I'm sure we've all been there. I know I have.

 

Why would she feel she cant not do it? I didnt reach out on her birthday a few months ago

 

And out of curiosity, I searched her name along with "happy birthday" in the facebook search. She has alot of friends on facebook, and she seems to only say it to maybe 2-3 people a month (on facebook)

[johnnystern]

I havent. I cut dead wood loose.

 

Well I see your stance on getting back with an ex or a girl you blew it with previously

[Wiseman2]

Yikes. It's good you went no contact after that type of message.

 

It's better to go after women who show interest. Then all the king of the jungle games disappear.

 

Ignore the bday thing if she just posted something on your fb wall. Just "like" the post and move on.

She said "yes we're close with eachother but dont tell me what to do, that'll just push me away more."

[Zaphod]

Why would she feel she cant not do it?

 

I'm not saying that is what happened, but one can often have confusing internal dialogues with oneself, and get oneself confused, especially women with birthdays (puts flameproof jacket on).

 

The other thing is, she could just be testing for a reaction - "Has he forgiven me yet" etc.

[Capricorn3]

Chicks can smell fake a mile away.

Indeed ....

[johnnystern]

Yikes. It's good you went no contact after that type of message.

 

It's better to go after women who show interest. Then all the king of the jungle games disappear.

 

Ignore the bday thing if she just posted something on your fb wall. Just "like" the post and move on.

 

I knew I was going to get some of the "move on" afficionados lol. She did show interest, this wasnt a girl I never had a chance with. We had a good run over several months. I know towards the end though, I became more and more beta and I could feel she was pulling away. Its been six months of no contact (up until the birthday message) and Ive wanted her back the entire time. You really think I can just "move on"? Obviously Im still hooked. As I stated, Im not looking to "just move on." If I was, I wouldnt be asking this question

 

Just curious, what about her quote was so off-putting to you? I dont think she said anything out of the norm considering how I was acting

[Edmund Exley]

Who's a grumpy birthday boy then?

 

 

 

Not me, LOL. I have plenty of friends who didnt dump me on my Facebook to wish me a Happy Birthday

[Zaphod]

Well, I guess you can do the old "Hey, thanks for the birthday message, hope you're well" and like her message. If you really want to open it up. I guess you haven't got much to lose.

 

But that's about the only option available to you if you don't want to come of as too "beta" - which apprently was your problem in the first place.

 

It's a polka game isn't it. Do you call it now, or raise the stakes, wait it out then call it? Let the other person call it?

 

Why not leave it at least a few days and sleep on it a bit.

[Wiseman2]

It's a polka game isn't it. Do you call it now, or raise the stakes, wait it out then call it? Let the other person call it?

 

[video=youtube;Rn2KHyubv58] ]

[johnnystern]

Well, I guess you can do the old "Hey, thanks for the birthday message, hope you're well" and like her message. If you really want to open it up. I guess you haven't got much to lose.

 

But that's about the only option available to you if you don't want to come of as too "beta" - which apprently was your problem in the first place.

 

It's a polka game isn't it. Do you call it now, or raise the stakes, wait it out then call it? Let the other person call it?

 

Why not leave it at least a few days and sleep on it a bit.

 

Thats the conflict Im facing; do I simply Like the post and be vague? Or do I comment saying "thanks for the birthday wish, hope youre doing great" and potentially give her the "relief" or "satisfaction" that all is well between us and she can go back to not talking to me. On the other hand, she could be putting her finger in the water, so to speak.

 

You're right about internal conversations, they can be hell

[Zaphod]

Not me, LOL. I have plenty of friends who didnt dump me on my Facebook to wish me a Happy Birthday

 

Me and Wiseman gonna jump you in the car park dressed as scary clowns and give you the bumps on your next one.

 

But never mind, after that, it's strip club, foam party and champagne time

[Zaphod]

Thats the conflict Im facing; do I simply Like the post and be vague? Or do I comment saying "thanks for the birthday wish, hope youre doing great" and potentially give her the "relief" or "satisfaction" that all is well between us and she can go back to not talking to me. On the other hand, she could be putting her finger in the water, so to speak.

 

You're right about internal conversations, they can be hell

 

If you do do it, don't do it immediately otherwise it looks a bit "needy" as they say on here.

 

Why not just wait until Christmas and reverse it on her and say "Happy Christmas" on her wall? Mirror her behaviour?

 

Raise the stakes. Prove you're not a Beta.

 

That's probably what I'd do, but you know each man to his own.

 

If she went cold on you, she needs warming up. Otherwise you're just poking a cold blancmange. And I don't mean that in a sexual way. Although...... excuse me for a moment *ahem*.

[johnnystern]

If you do do it, don't do it immediately otherwise it looks a bit "needy" as they say on here.

 

Why not just wait until Christmas and reverse it on her and say "Happy Christmas" on her wall? Mirror her behaviour?

 

Raise the stakes. Prove you're not a Beta.

 

That's probably what I'd do, but you know each man to his own.

 

If she went cold on you, she needs warming up. Otherwise you're just poking a cold blancmange. And I don't mean that in a sexual way. Although...... excuse me for a moment *ahem*.

 

The fact that she went cold on me and I left her alone for several months and now she says happy birthday (even though I didnt tell her happy birthday), says to me that there's a decent chance she's warming up to me again (even if its just slightly.)

 

I agree with the rest

[Edmund Exley]

The fact that she went cold on me and I left her alone for several months and now she says happy birthday (even though I didnt tell her happy birthday), says to me that there's a decent chance she's warming up to me again (even if its just slightly.)

 

I agree with the rest

 

Move on isnt just "a school of thought". You are taking something very meaningless and wrapping a whole lot of hope around it.

 

If you really think this girl has been waiting around for months to say "Happy Birthday" as an ice breaker to get back with you, well I've got some bad news

[Edmund Exley]

And if you dont want to be a "beta" then man up and talk to her.

[johnnystern]

Move on isnt just "a school of thought". You are taking something very meaningless and wrapping a whole lot of hope around it.

 

If you really think this girl has been waiting around for months to say "Happy Birthday" as an ice breaker to get back with you, well I've got some bad news

 

At the same time, its a bit odd that somebody who went cold on you several months ago will decide to come back several months later "just" to say happy birthday. We didnt end well and she comes back several months later "just" to say happy birthday? That sounds like even more of a reach than what you proposed. No, I dont think she was waiting around for "months" to say this.

[Edmund Exley]

Is this the same person?

 

 

[Zaphod]

If you really think this girl has been waiting around for months to say "Happy Birthday" as an ice breaker to get back with you, well I've got some bad news

 

This is a good point.

 

Like I said before, at risk of getting flamed by the ladies, but a lot of birds get really weird about the birthday stuff. Don't ask me why. It's not for us to ask why. It's for us to say "Thanks luv" and get on with our life until "summoned" again.

[johnnystern]

Is this the same person?

 

]

 

different person