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Sorry to say but you need a therapist not a bf. As you mention, it's serious.

i said to him "you do realize that it can be extremely dangerous, right? like i don't know the science behind it but it often leads to heart attacks and death." at this point i felt like i was TRYING to make him worry
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People around you may find it overwhelming, especially if you add in as much drama as you can to get the attention you want. This is not what friends or bfs are for.

that wasn't my question. i'm aware that i need a therapist i just would like to be surrounded by supporting loving people too but unfortunately i don't have many of those kinds of people in my life and it would help a lot if i did.
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I wonder if you're creating catastrophic problems subconsciously as a way to try and force the people you care about to step up and care about you. Your post sounds like you KNOW how bad it is, you KNOW you need help, but you need someone to guide you there.


Unfortunately, you are responsible for yourself. No one can possibly care about you more than yourself.


Your boyfriend sounds like a scumbag and you need to get away from him, get help, and be single until you love yourself on your own. You absolutely cannot expect someone else to care more about your wellbeing than you yourself do.

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